


Secrets

by jdf1973



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Debbie isn't a bitch, Depression, EMT Ian Gallagher, Frank Gallagher Being an Asshole, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, Ian Gallagher & Mandy Milkovich Friendship, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, Internalized Homophobia, Lip Gallagher Being an Asshole, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Fiona Gallagher, Protective Lip Gallagher, Protective Mickey Milkovich, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt, Time Skips, brother Ian Gallagher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:54:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 32
Words: 68,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22469716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdf1973/pseuds/jdf1973
Summary: Summary: What if Terry overheard Ian telling Mandy about being gay?What if it resulted in Ian getting a good old fashioned Milkovich severe fagbeating resulting in life changing events for Ian?
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 79
Kudos: 295





	1. Ian

CHAPTER ONE

“Well, well look who we found, Iggy. Ian Gallagher, the fag. Time to set him straight” 

Gasping, Ian sat up and shakily ran a hand through his hair. He hadn’t had that dream in days, and he sure hadn’t missed it either. He had been going to therapy for a couple of years now. Trying to get over the beating he had gotten as a result of Mandy Milkovich and her revenge on him. He didn’t remember much about that night, it was all a blur of pain and blood, so much pain and blood, until he had blacked out and woke up in the emergency room with Fiona sitting beside his bed, tears running down her face. Then the non stop questions that Ian was too terrified to answer. The constant pressure from Lip and Fiona trying, and failing, to find out what happened. He was never going to tell who was responsible, he still hasn’t to this day. He would take that secret to his grave. It wasn’t something he was proud of, the fear of dark alleys, going out of his way to avoid any and all Milkoviches. Starting with quitting his job at the Kash n Grab. Mickey was known to shoplift there and Ian wasn’t taking any chances of running into the dark haired thug. It had been three years and Ian can’t believe how much it still affects his life. His therapist said it wasn’t unusual after the trauma he had gone through, didn’t make it any easier to deal with though.

Knowing there was no way he would be getting anymore sleep, Ian got up and made his way into the bathroom, a nice warm shower to start out a day he already knew was gonna suck. Why did he have to have a nightmare the night before his SAT’s? The one day he needed to have all his wits about him. It sucked, but he had to work with the hand he was dealt, and Gallaghers were never ones to back down from a challenge, it wasn’t in their DNA. 

Turning on the shower, Ian stripped down and stepped in, sighing in relief as the hot water hit his aching muscles. He didn’t even realize how tense he was until now. That dream always made him jittery all day long. Jumpy and nervous and he fucking hated it, why did it still bother him so much was the question he kept asking his therapist. Each time he received the same frustrating answer, being beaten to the point of death for being a homosexual, he scoffed at the fancy wording for being fag bashed, was a traumatic experience that would take time to get over. Wasn’t two years fucking long enough? Apparently not, at least not according to him and his fucking PTSD.  
Absently he soaped himself up as he remembered waking up in the hospital bed in. Fiona’s presence beside him the only thing that had kept him halfway sane as the doctor had droned on about the lasting effects of the beating. He had complete hearing loss in his left ear, three broken ribs, which explained the pain every time he drew a breath, a concussion, ten stitches in his head and a broken collar bone. Las,t but certainly not least, a few dozen stitches on his back, where he later found out that the word fag had been engraved. He had cried then, big gulping sobs that shook his entire body making him cringe with pain, but he couldn’t stop. Fiona had jumped up then, rushing over to him and she just held him while he cried. Whispering over and over again how everything was going to be alright. He remembered screaming at her then, how everything was going to be alright when he was branded for life?  
Shutting off the water he reached for the towel he had hung over the door knob, refusing to look in the mirror he wrapped the towel around him and headed towards his room to get dressed, still deep in thought. He had never told anyone who was responsible for his beating, knowing that if he did it would have signed his death warrant, he learned the hard way that you didn’t cross the Milkoviches and you for damn sure never trusted one.  
After turning down Mandy’s advances and then having her send her sick her brothers on him as a result, he thought that by telling her the truth, she would understand and call them off, instead she ran home and snitched and made things so much worse. He often wondered if she knew what the consequences would be. He never asked her though, he just avoided her like the plague. Transferred out of all classes he had with her, quit his job at the Kash and Grab, and tried to pick up the pieces of his life only to find out a few months later he had been the lucky one to inherit Monica’s bipolar. He was fucked for life, but then being a gay kid in the Southside, it didn’t really shock him.  
Pulling on his shirt, he picked up his bag and headed out the door. Surprised but not disappointed that his siblings never awakened. He just didn’t want to deal with the chaos mornings tended to be in the Gallagher household. Taking the steps two at a time to avoid the squeaky ones as a precaution Ian was shocked to see Fiona sitting at the kitchen table drinking what looked to be coffee.

“Morning, Sweetface. Want some coffee?” Fiona asked when she saw him, a smile graced her face as she stood to pour said cup of coffee. “What are you doing up so early, everything alright?” she asked him, concerned gaze searched his face making Ian shift uncomfortably under her knowing gaze.

“Test’s today. Wanted to get an early start,” Ian lied, hoping in vain that she would buy it. He was never good at lying and Fiona always saw right through everything he said anyways.  
“Well being that it’s only five thirty and you don’t even need to be there until seven. I say your gonna get one hell of an early start. Come on, Monkey pull up a seat and tell me what is really going on.”  
Sighing heavily Ian pulled out a chair and sat down, giving in as usual, knowing Fiona wouldn’t let him leave until she got something out of him. He drew in a deep breath and wrapped his hands around the cup in front of him. Stilling the tremors, he hated the meds he was on, the shaking and nausea that went with them made him question if it was worth it, but then he would remember the hell he went through without them and knew they were.  
“Nothing really, just another nightmare,” he said hoping it would be enough, yet knowing it wouldn’t be. 

“Nightmare? You haven’t had one of those in awhile.”  
Knowing that wasn’t true, Ian said nothing. There was no way that Fiona knew that he always had the nightmares. They really never went away. He just told her they had. Fiona always worried about everything and he tried to not give her anymore reasons to add to it. She was the one who shouldered everything. The bills, feeding everyone and anything and everything in between, so he tried to spare her more by acting like he was alright. But sometimes in cases like today, he just couldn’t pretend everything was alright.  
“Oh, Sweetface I wish I knew how to help you. I hate that you continue to pay for some ignorant fucks homophobic tendacies.”  
He watched as the tears flowed down Fiona’s face, strangely envious of her ability to be able to cry. He hadn’t shed one tear since that night, refused to in fact. Ian learned a long time ago to accept the things in his fucked up life, there was no way to change it, so why cry about it? His therapist said it wasn’t healthy to keep things bottled up, but what the fuck did she know? Let her walk a mile in his shoes, then she could tell him what was healthy and what’s not.  
“It was just a nightmare, Fi. Not the end of the world. I don’t want you to worry alright? I will be ok, this is just a blip, a temporary set back. I will talk to Sarah about it this week. I promise.”  
Standing up he rounded the table and pulled Fiona into a hug. Kissing the top of her head he looked at the time and cursed. “Fuck, I got to go. I’m gonna be late. See you later, Fi. Love ya.”  
Ian drew back and waved before rushing for the door, if he would have looked back he would have seen the knowing look on Fiona’s face and wondered what it meant.

Fiona watched as her not so little brother almost ran from the house and drew in a shuddering breath. Ian thought he had her fooled, but she knew him. And she also knew that he suffered through those nightmares every night. She and Lip both agreed that they would just let it be, let Ian come to them when he was ready, but it had been three years now and Ian had never said a word. It hurt her to sit back and watch him go through what he went through and not be able to talk about it. Ian had always been one to keep his problems to himself and try and solve them all on his own. Didn’t make her worry any less though. He would sometimes talk to Lip though, but never about this. Lip was the one he had confided in about being gay. He had never told her although she had always known, and worried because being gay in their neighborhood was signing your death warrant. Gays and South Side don’t mix and unfortunately Ian had found that out the hard way.  
Remembering that night as one of the scariest most heartbreaking things she had ever gone through. Seeing Ian lying there in that hospital bed so broken and hurt had been heart wrenching. His face was a mass of blood and bruises. There was blood all over the left side of his face. If it weren’t for his red hair she never would have recognized him. The doctor had come in and informed them that Ian had to have emergency surgery, the details to this day were still one big blur. All she knew for sure was that Ian had permanently lost the hearing in his left ear. And she remembered Ian had been so brave up until that point not saying a word until then and he just broke, cried so hard in her arms that she feared he would never stop. His recovery had been hard. At first they thought Ian was just regular depressed, he wouldn’t get out of bed. They had let him be, figured he would eventually snap out of it. She shuddered at thinking how wrong they had been.  
She had come home from work one day, anxious to start supper, knowing the others would be home from school any minute. She remembered walking up the stairs intent on making Ian help, and walked into a nightmare.  
Ian was lying in bed, his back towards her and she thought nothing of it. Walking over she shook his shoulder and he flopped over. His bottle of pain meds falling from his hand. She had frantically searched for a pulse and it was faint but there. Her little brother had tried to kill himself and she wasn’t there to stop it. She blamed herself the whole way to the hospital. Despite Lip’s reassurances, she would always blame herself, if not for Ian taking the pills then for not recognizing the symptoms Ian had been displaying. He had been so happy when he had first got home from the hospital, going out, running, all the ideas, and talking a million miles an hour, she had written it off. She was just happy to see Ian happy. Then one day he hadn’t gotten out of bed and she turned a blind eye, Refused to see what was in front of her face.  
The doctor had admitted Ian for a seventy- four hour observation and had diagnosed Ian with bipolar disorder. Being Monica’s kids it was Russian roulette on who would end up with it, and Ian was the lucky kid.  
Sighing, she stood up - it was time to wake the others. They had school to get to and she had work. Making a mental note to talk to Lip later see what he could get out of Ian. Fiona went about starting her day.


	2. Mickey

Chapter Two

Mickey awoke to a raging hangover, which considering how much he had drank the night before it came as no surprise. His Dad had just gotten out from yet another stint in jail, which resulted in the standard ‘Welcome home’ party. Maybe one of these days the bastard will actually get a life time sentence and put them all out of their misery.  
He could only hope, right? Hope was such a dangerous thing, which was why he made it a point to stay far away from that particular emotion. Groaning, he rolled over and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Bits and pieces of the night before slowly making themselves known. Terry had been in a mood, despite just getting out, he had gone on and on about some fag in jail that he had beaten the shit out of. Seemed the stupid fuck had propositioned Terry, and Terry being the homophobic prick that he was, beat the ever loving shit out of the guy.  
Which had led to a trip down memory lane, as they had all learned why Ian Gallagher seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. He had forgotten all about the redhead, once Mandy had called them off, he just forgot all about him, although he had noticed he seemed to have quit working at towlhead’s store. Occasionally he saw the rest of the Gallaghers around. .  
It was the redhead‘s own fault though, who would willingly admit to anyone in South Side, let alone a Milkovich about being a fag? You might as well have put a bullseye on the middle of your back, what had the kid been thinking, why hadn’t he just manned up and taken the beating from him. Instead he got so much worse. Was the kid even alive? Terry wasn’t known to show mercy on anyone, let alone a fag. Terry believed the only good fag was a dead one, which was why he kept his own preferences a secret.  
The door slamming open brought Mickey back to the present.  
“Hey, fuck face you ever gonna get up?” Mandy’s voice was teasing, despite the wording.   
“Don’t worry about it, bitch. What the fuck do you want?” He asked, impatiently. Mandy looked behind her, no doubt to see if Terry had woken up yet, before coming the rest of the way into the room closing the door softly behind her. She looked at him, a strange look on her face.  
“Mickey, I am going to ask you a question and I will know if you lie to me.”  
“Bitch, you wish you could tell if I lie.”  
”I know I can, dick face. You get this tick in the corner of your mouth.”  
“Whatever. What the fuck do you want?” Mickey asked, already done with this conversation.  
“Did you have anything to do with the beating on Ian?”  
“Who?” Mickey asked, not wanting to let on that he remembered.  
“Ian Gallagher. Redhead used to work at the Kash and Grab. I know you know who I’m talking about, don’t sit there and try to pretend you don’t,” Mandy said pissed at being lied to. She and the redhead had decided to be friends after his little confession. And she had always wondered why he disappeared for awhile, then when he came back he avoided her. He had transferred out of all the classes they had together and despite looking for him, she always managed to miss him.  
“How the fuck am I supposed to remember who the fucker was. It’s been years since you called me off the little fuck,” Mickey defended himself. He reached for his cigarettes and lit one, only for Mandy to snatch it out of his hand. “Bitch, give that back,” he hollored, jumping up to grab it, only for her to jump back and take a puff off it herself, blowing the smoke in his face.  
“Not until you answer my fucking question. Did you have anything to do with it?”  
Long past ready for this little quiz to be over, Mickey grabbed another cigarette and lit it, backing away from his grabby as fuck cunt of a sister.  
“No, I didn’t have anything to do with the beat down your little fag boyfriend got. I was on a run for Pops,” Mickey growled, hoping she would leave now that he answered her question. He watched as she slumped down on his bed. Proving his theory that it is never good to have hope. He opened his mouth to make a smart remark, but it died when he saw the tears falling down Mandy’s face.  
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
“It’s my fault,” Mandy said quietly, sniffling, not even attempting to wipe at the tears that were running down her face.  
“What is your fault?” he asked, despite not wanting to know what she was going on about now. She always did this, jumping around subjects he could normally keep up with. Not today though, his head was really starting to pound, he needed another drink to deal with this shit.  
“Ian. It’s my fault. He was just being nice, saving me from a pervy English teacher, and how did I repay that? I made a pass and he turned me down. And butt hurt, I ran home and told my brothers he raped me.”  
“What does that have to do with Terry beating him for being a fag?” Mickey asked, confused as to how this even tied into it. Come to think of it, how had the old man even found out about the redhead?  
Mandy shook her head, the tears didn’t seem to be stopping and Mickey was still confused.  
“The day after you couldn’t find him, Ian was waiting outside for me. He said he had something to tell me. I refused to listen, of course, at least at first, so when I turned to walk away he all but screamed he was gay. We were standing right outside our house. No way Terry hadn’t heard him. If I had just left him alone it wouldn’t have happened.”  
Mickey listened as Mandy’s voice grew softer with each word she said. He sat down beside her and tried to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, which she shrugged off.  
“I was going to be his beard, and he was going to be my boyfriend and keep all the creeps away, you know? Then the next day when I got to school he wasn’t there. I didn’t think too much about it at the time, but looking back I should have. Ian never missed school, but I assumed he was skipping, or sick. A few months later I caught a glimpse of him walking down the hall. I tried to get his attention, but he just ignored me. He probably thinks I had something to do with it.”  
Mickey didn’t know what to say, comfort wasn’t something he was familiar with. Living in this house the closest you ever came to getting comforted was a punch to the face. Terry wasn’t one to coddle his kids.  
“It wasn’t your fault, Mandy. No one can control what Terry does, you know that. Sitting here and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t going to change anything.”  
“Fuck you. See if I ever tell you anything again,” Mandy said before punching him in his arm and storming out.  
“Nobody asked you to, cunt face. And stay the fuck out of my room!” Mickey hollered at her retreating back As he rubbed at the numbness in his arm, the bitch always did hit hard. Why did she come to him about that shit anyway? Wasn’t like he cared about the redhead. He wasn’t even a blip on his radar. He never even spoke two words to the asshole, at least not beyond threatening to beat his ass. Maybe he could ask around about the redhead though, ease Mandy’s mind a little. He’d seen that asshole Lip hanging around all the time, he would know. It never occured to Mickey that Mandy had never asked him to do it, that maybe he himself wanted to know despite himself. He remembers seeing the guy around before everything went down. His red hair made him stick out, there weren’t too many of them in South Side, and he always looked after his little sister, she was the only one in this fucked up family he could stand. Lying back down, he closed his eyes for a few more hours then he would track down the elder Gallagher, get some answers and let himself believe it was Mandy's benefit, in no way did he want to see the younger boy. That was ridiculous, so he put that thought out of his mind before it took root.


	3. Lip

Chapter Three

Lip got out of the car, slamming the door behind him. Lighting the ever present cigarette, he walked towards the house. When Fiona had called earlier she sounded stressed, which sadly enough came as no real surprise. She had a lot to be stressed over, being a Gallagher stress was something that tended to become a way of life. With an alcoholic deadbeat for a father, and a non medicated never present bipolar mother, they were all doomed. Opening the door, he braced himself for whatever was about to come and walked into a strangely silent house. Whatever was going on it had to be major for Fiona to clear house. Shaking his head, Lip shut the door behind him and went searching for his older sister.   
He found her sitting at the kitchen table, a glass of hardly touched wine in front of her, gazing off into space. Fuck what now? Was all he could think.  
“Fi?” he called softly, not wanting to startle her, she turned towards him and gave a half hearted smile.  
“Hey, how was school?” The question was so far off what he was expecting that he gave a startled laugh.  
“School? Is that really what you called me here for?”  
Fiona looked away then, wiping at her face she sighed. “No, that wasn’t what I called you here for. But humour me for a minute and answer the fucking question. Then we can get into the reason I called.”  
Lip got a beer out of the fridge and opening it he sat down. Taking a drink, he gave a run down of his day and then waited patiently for Fiona to get to the real reason for why he was there.  
”Ian had a bad night, not that he ever really has good ones, but he was up at five thirty this morning trying to sneak out of the house,” Fiona said, looking at Lip with tears in her eyes.  
“Fuck!” Lip swore before getting up and starting to pace back and forth lighting a cigarette and running an agitated hand through his hair. “I thought that shrink was supposed to help him. It’s been years and the bitch hasn’t found a way to help yet?” Fiona flinched at the suddenness of Lip’s outburst, Ian and Lip had always been close, and seeing his little brother hurt so badly had broken something in the older boy. The night they had gone to the hospital had been a nightmare, and while they were all worried, Lip was a mess. He took one look at Ian lying in the hospital bed and ran out of the room. Fiona had found him a while later outside heaving into the bushes. Cursing and crying, it had taken her so long to get him calmed enough to go back inside.  
“She can’t help someone who doesn’t tell her everything. Lip, you and I both know that Ian refuses to talk about anything that happened that night. He clams up if you even mention it, locks himself in his room for hours after every session. He remembers more than what he claims to too. I just don’t understand why he doesn’t trust us.”  
Lip laughed but there was no humour in it, he knew everything Fiona was saying was the truth, but he knew why Ian didn’t trust them, him in particular. He had blown Ian off that night, he was supposed to meet him, they were gonna hang out, but no - Karen had shown up and Lip couldn’t pull himself away. He had been getting his dick sucked while his little brother had been getting the shit beat out of him. It was his fault that Ian had gotten jumped that night, no one else's.  
“Hey, hey. Lip don’t you even go there,” Fiona said, knowing what he was thinking.  
“Don’t go where, Fi? Don’t think about the fact that I was too busy to hang out with my little brother? That getting my dick wet was more important than doing what I had promised and hung out with Ian like I was supposed to.”  
“Exactly! It wasn’t your fault Lip. It wasn’t mine and it sure as hell wasn’t Ian’s. It was some ignorant homophobic piece of shit that thought it was fun to beat up a young gay boy.”  
Lip shook his head, not believing a word she was saying but not willing to get into another fight over it. They go around and around about it all the time neither of them convincing the other one. And frankly, he didn’t have the energy for it right now.  
“So what are we going to do?” he asked, softly. Sitting down he looked on as Fiona ran an agitated hand through her hand.  
“Can you try talking to him again? See if he will at least tell you something?”   
“I can try, but we both know it won’t do any good,” Lip stated, his voice strained,   
Fiona nodded satisfied that at least Lip was going to try, despite the uselessness of doing it.  
“Where is he?”  
“I talked him into taking Liam for a walk. Debs and Carl went too. They said something about maybe stopping in and saying hi to Kev. Hopefully he remembers that Ian can’t have heavy liquor with his meds.”  
Lip grunted in acknowledgement, his mind on what to say to Ian when he sees him. What excuse he is going to have to tell him on why he is even home before the weekend. Ian knows very well that Lip’s schedule doesn’t afford him having much time at home during the week. It wasn’t going to be easy to convince him it was just a spur of the moment situation. Shaking his head, he said good bye to Fiona and headed towards the door, intent on finding his brother and convincing him to talk.

The Alibi was empty except for the usual riff raff, and sitting in a booth in the far corner were his siblings. He headed in their direction when Kev spotted him.  
“Hey, hey look what the cat dragged in. What can I get you, man?” The burly bartender never changed, and Lip is strangely glad about that, say what you will about the man but no one could say he wasn’t a big ole softy unless you pissed him off.   
Images of the past flashed through his mind. There had been some kind of get together in the Alibi everyone and anyone was there. Never let it be said that South Siders didn’t know how to party. It was in full swing, everyone was dancing laughing and having a good time. When the door flew open and Terry Milkovich came in. You could tell he had already been drinking as had his two older sons. He had been in the middle of talking to Fiona, he didn’t remember what they were talking about. Fiona had been watching Ian all night, it wasn’t very long after he had gotten home from the hospital though, when she suddenly shot out of her chair, Ian’s name being shouted out in fear. He glanced over and Ian was staring straight at Terry in his face, as white as a ghost. When he suddenly jumped up and ran straight passed a scared Fiona and out the door, he and Fiona were hot on his heels. They found him outside throwing up, his chest heaving up and down. Trying and failing to catch his breath. All Lip could think was he was having a panic attack. Which they had all become accustomed to unfortunately. But what Lip couldn’t figure out was what could have caused it, Ian had been fine. Laughing at whatever Kev and V had been telling him. Then it hit him, Terry fuckin Milkovich. Ian had been fine until that asshole had walked through the door. Lip saw red and turned and ran towards the door intent on getting his hands on the mother fucker that beat his brother.   
Then Ian, who by then had calmed down just a little, called out to him and Lip couldn’t leave him no matter how much he wanted to watch the hobophobic prick inside drown in his own blood. Ian had denied it, made up some bullshit story that no one with half a brain would believe. Begging to go home, he just wanted to go home. His voice filled with emotion that he would never outwardly express. He had pulled Kev aside later that week and explained what had happened and what he had figured out, the older man had made him a promise then that Terry Milkovich would never be allowed in his bar again. As far as he knew, he had kept that promise.

“Lip! What are you doing here?” Debbie’s question pulled Lip away from his inner thoughts.  
“What, I ain’t allowed to come home and see everyone?” Lip asked going for the light hearted approach, hoping to head the questions off about his sudden arrival before they started, and letting out a sigh of relief when it seemed to work.  
“What? No of course not, silly. Just surprised to see you is all,” she said getting up and hugging him, meeting Ian’s gaze over her head, he knew Ian hadn’t bought his lie. Fuck, oh well there was nothing he could do about it now so he just sat down and waited for Kev to bring his beer, listening as Carl told him all about the trouble he had been getting into, ignoring the glare of Ian’s stare that seemed to be drilling holes in the side of his head.

Later that evening, after everyone was in bed asleep, Ian and Lip were sitting in the living room pretending to be interested in what was on tv.  
“Alright spit it out.” Ian’s voice broke through the silence and Lip looked over and met Ian’s eyes. He knew the jig was up but not yet willing to shatter the calm that had descended over the house. Peacefulness wasn’t something that happened very often in this house, and he hadn’t yet decided what he was going to say.  
“Spit what out?” He asked trying to play it off.  
“Fiona called you didn’t she? I told her I was alright, that I would talk to Sarah this week even, but that wasn’t good enough was it? She had to call you home to check on me.” Ian asked frustrated. Lip watched as Ian got up and paced in front of the tv. The familiarness of the gesture wasn’t lost on Lip, Ian always paced these days. Back and forth, back and forth, until he got so worked up he would leave the room, and you wouldn’t see him for hours afterwards. Wanting to stop it before it got that far, Lip got up and grabbed Ian by the arm. Forgetting how Ian reacted to sudden movements, he didn’t see coming. He flinched violently and drew back his fist, ready to punch or flee. Whichever would happen depended on how threatened Ian felt at the time. Fortunately Ian did neither when he saw it was just Lip.  
“Come on, man. Sit down for a minute. I swear your gonna wear a hole in this shitty ass rug one of these days,” Lip joked.  
“Might be an improvement though. Anything beats the smell of Frank’s piss.”   
Ian cracked a half assed smile at him and slowly sat back down, watching Lip closely waiting for the other shoe to drop.   
”You gonna tell me the real reason you came?” Ian asked him, chin jutting out and Lip knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. When the chin came into play Ian meant business and no amount of avoiding the issue could be had.  
“Alright, alright. Fiona did call me, but only because she is worried about you, Ian.You know that. What’s going on? Talk to me please. When have I ever let you down?” Lip winced knowing when he had let Ian down but hoping Ian wouldn’t snap and finally give him the dressing down he knew he deserved.  
“I already told Fiona. Yes, I had a nightmare, yes, it shook me up. But I will be fine, there is nothing more to say.”  
“And I’m gonna call bullshit. You and I both know this isn’t the only time you had nightmares Ian. I just wanna help,” Lip begged. He knew he was pushing, knew it even as he said it. But he couldn’t help it. He wanted nothing more than to help Ian and he wouldn’t let him.  
“Jesus Christ, Lip!” Ian shouted jumping up he walked towards the door.   
“Why can’t you just let it go, huh? Why you gotta fix everything? I’m not broken, despite what you and Fiona seem to think. I got fag bashed, beat and left in an alley to die, and yes it sucks. I can’t hear if you are sitting on the wrong side of me, but I’m still me. Yes, I may have nightmares or whatever but show me one mother fucker who went through what I did that wouldn’t. Holy fuck I can’t take the broken hearted looks and the side glances anymore, the sudden stops of conversation when I walk into the room. How in the hell am I supposed to move on if you guys won’t let me? Oh, what’s the use, no one ever listens to me anyway.”   
Lip watched helplessly as Ian ran out the door, and knew they wouldn’t see him again for awhile. He sat back down and wiped roughly at his eyes, he knew he pushed too hard and as a result, Ian had run outside after dark. Something he hadn’t done in years.  
“Well, that went well.” The statement startled Lip, he looked back and saw a worried Fiona leaning against the banister.   
Lip laughed,“Oh, yeah it went real well. Lip the wonder brother fucks it up again.”  
Fiona stood up and walked over to sit beside him.  
“Nah, that’s the most he’s said in years. We knew he was gonna be mad, I just didn’t think he would leave though.”  
“Yeah, me either. I could have handled it better though. Not pushed so hard,” Lip said, as he lit yet another cigarette, Fiona grabbed it and took a puff before handing it back.  
“ I could’ve just kept my mouth shut, not called you, seemed we both were wrong. I just don’t like seeing him like this though. The poor kid has been through hell and back, when is he gonna catch a break? He doesn’t deserve this. Not him, he had plans, Lip. Plans to get out of this hell hole. And some asshole comes along and wiped it all away. I just wish I knew who did it, ya know? Who thought they had the right to beat down my little brother, just because he was gay. Who decided to play judge and executioner and left him in the alley to bleed to death?”  
“Terry Milkovich.” Two words sent Fiona’s world into a tail spin.  
“What?” she asked. “Did Ian tell you?” Fiona asked, tears running freely down her face.  
“”No, he didn’t. Not in the way you mean anyway..” Lip proceeded to tell Fiona how he figured it out and sat back to await the explosion.  
“You knew? You knew who did it and you never thought oh Fiona has a right to know. What the fuck, Lip? You should have told me the minute you figured it out.”  
“When, Fiona? When should I have told you? I never had a chance to.”  
Fiona jumped up furious at being left in the dark about something of this magnitude.  
“Oh, I don’t know Lip, anytime within the last two years, she screamed.  
“No, Fiona I couldn’t and I shouldn't have told you now. Ian has never confirmed or denied it, and there is no way I am going to be responsible for letting that particular cat out of the bag.”  
“He deserves to rot in prison for what he has done. No that is too good for him. He deserves to fuckin die for it. Jesus Christ, Lip he almost killed Ian.”  
“You think I don’t know that Fiona? You think I don’t want to kill that piece of shit everytime I see him? That I don’t wanna go over there right now and beat him the fuck to death? But you wanna know why I don’t? Why I swallow it all down and literally gag on it?” He didn’t give her enough time to answer though, he plowed on wanting to let it all out before he literally went crazy,  
“Ian. Ian is why I don’t do any of those things. Do you remember how he reacted that night at The Alibi? The goddamn panic attack he had? Do you wanna be responsible for causing another spiral, Fiona? Imagine what that would do to him. He’d have to testify, get up on that stand and live through everything again. Do you wanna be the one to put him through that?” Seeing the look her on her face he knew she understood. So he softened his voice and finished up what he was going to say.  
“No? I didn’t think so. So you do what I have been doing, you go about your business and avoid any and all assholes with the last name Milkovich and you wait for Ian to come to us. Wait until he is ready, strong enough to handle it. Then you support what he decides to do.”  
“But what if he’s never ready though?” she asked and Lip’s heart shattered, Fiona looked so helpless. Her face was pale and the tears were still pouring out of her eyes.  
“Then he isn’t. And we still support him. In the end he is all that matters, Fiona. Not us, he is the one who lives through hell every day. So this is his decision.“ With that last parting shot he kissed her softly on the head, then went upstairs to sleep. Tomorrow was another day and he had some crow to swallow if he wanted Ian to ever talk to him again.


	4. Ian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter deals with some flashbacks of Ian's attack. And it also deals with some of what happened leading up to finding out he was bipolar. It is not too graphic but it mentions some of it.

CHAPTER FOUR

Ian ran, he ran like the bowels of hell were after him, and maybe they were. Sure felt like it most of the time. He ran until he couldn’t run anymore, he ran until the back of his shirt was soaked with sweat, and he still continued on long after he knew he should have stopped. His chest was heaving and his face was wet, he refused to admit there were tears running down his face, refused to yet he knew that’s what they were.  
Why couldn’t they just leave it alone, why did they have to push and push until he felt like he was going even crazier than he already was? e knew that Lip meant well, knew too that he just wanted to help, but there was nothing he could possibly do. There was nothing anyone could do. Did Lip really think that he wanted to talk about what happened? He didn’t need to talk about it, he relived it every night in his dreams.  
He felt the terror and the helplessness every single night, the slice of the blade against his skin wasn’t something he could ever forget. Being kicked over and over again until he just wanted to die so the pain would stop. The shouted slurs that were screamed at him as each blow hit his already battered body. He saw it every night, felt the pain as if it was still happening. Talking about it wouldn’t change anything, despite what Lip and Fiona thinks.   
Ian stopped and looked around him, when he ran out he hadn’t stopped to think about where he was going, he just knew he had to get out of there. Wiping his face with the bottom of his shirt, he took stock of his surroundings and Let out a half hearted laugh. In his rush to get away from Lip he managed to end up in front of a small diner. Looking in the window, he saw that despite how late it was, the lights were still on and there were a few people sitting at the tables. He drew in a deep breath and reached for the handle on the door, a coffee and a slice of pie were just what he needed right now.  
Ian walked in and looked around him, he wanted a table in a secluded spot, he didn’t feel like being stared at by the local riff raff tonight. He spotted a table in the far corner, no one else was sitting at any of the surrounding tables, he walked quickly over and sat down, letting out a sigh of relief, he settled in and waited for someone to take his order.

“Hello, welcome to Patsy’s, my name is Trish and I’ll be your waitress tonight. What can I get you?” Ian jumped at the sudden appearance of the waitress in front of him. His heart beating a little too fast for his liking, he told the waitress his order and watched as she walked away. Settling more comfortably in his seat, Ian let his mind wander...

Two years ago:

It was cold outside, the brisk air hitting him in the face let Ian know that winter had finally hit. He really should’ve worn something heavier than Lip’s old hoodie, but he hadn’t and now he would just have to suffer the consequences. He cut through the alley way wanting to get home as fast as he could, and this being the quickest way, he decided to chance it. He normally avoided going this way at all, but needs and all that. This alley wasn’t exactly the safest place in South Side not that there were many safe places to be had here anyway.  
But this particular alleyway happened to be Milkovich territory. Terry Milkovich and sons ran drugs and who knows what else, but he was hoping he could slip through without being noticed. He should’ve known that luck never shined on him, he was a Gallagher after all, and Gallaghers never have good luck.  
He was almost to the end of the alley when he heard Terry shout.   
“Look who we found, Iggy. Ian Gallagher - the fag. Let’s set him straight.”   
Not daring to look behind him, Ian took off running, he didn’t make it that far though when he felt someone grab him from behind. He drew his elbow back and caught whoever it was holding him in the gut, he heard the surprised grunt and then there was a sharp pain to the back of his head,  
He instantly fell to his knees, only to get kicked in the face. His jaw exploded in agony and blck spots instantly colored his vision. After that it was constant kicks and hits to his sides and stomach. He instinctively tried to crawl away when someone grabbed his shirt.  
“Where do you think your going, you little fag? We’re not finished with you yet.” He felt his shirt being ripped off, then his back was just one big explosion of burning agony. Then there was something warm and sticky running down his sides. He knew then he was going to die, and he let the darkness swallow him.

Present:

“Sir, are you alright?” Ian heard and he instinctively flinched. Seeing the concerned face of the waitress from earlier standing there, he let out a shaky sigh of relief. Forcing himself to smile he nodded. “Do you need me to call someone for you, hun?”   
“No! I mean, no thanks, I’m alright. Just didn’t see you there. Sorry.”  
“That’s quite alright, hun. Here’s your pie and if you need anything else let me know.”   
Ian watched as she walked away, not liking the concerned glances she kept shooting him, reminded him too much of when Fiona did it.  
“Fuck”, Ian thought as he ran a shaky hand through his hair. It had been awhile since he thought about that during the day. It was bad enough to relive it every night, did he have to do it through the day too? He used to do it all the time, it just played in a constant loop in his mind until one day he woke up and he felt great. He felt on top of the world, had so many ideas, things he wanted to do, and started taking heavier drugs and going to parties, and waking up in strange beds.   
He didn’t question it, why would he? He had finally seen the light at the end of a very dark tunnel and he was going to embrace it fully. He was flying high, and he loved the feeling of freedom. He stayed out most nights, never slept, because he had too much to do. Who needs sleep anyway, he can sleep when he’s dead. But until then he was going to live. After weeks of being too terrified to leave the house, these feelings were a life saver for Ian. It was great, until it wasn’t.  
The crash had been horrible, to go from feeling like you could take on the world to the crushing helplessness. Everything hurt, and he was so tired of feeling this way,like everyone would be better off without him,. so he took the rest of his pain meds and laid down and waited for the pain to stop.  
He woke up in a hospital bed with Fiona crying at his side. She was the one to find him called for an ambulance where he was rushed to the hospital. He went home three days later with a diagnosis and the doctors words echoing in his head. Bipolar, like Monica. What a crock of shit. He didn’t want to believe it, refused to in fact. Almost bashing Debbie’s head in with a bat put a stop to that real quick. So he took the meds and the nightmares came back with a vengeance.  
Sometimes he missed it though, the feeling of being on top of the world, no worries, and everything was so much brighter and more exciting. Best off all the nightmares just disappeared. Now he was just Ian again, happy go lucky, free of all the fears and worries, but the flip side just wasn’t worth the trouble that came with it. He never wanted to see Fiona look so broken again.  
The ringing of the bell on the door followed by a high pitched giggle drew Ian’s attention, and the bottom fell out of his stomach.  
Mandy Milkovich had just walked in, followed by a guy he’d never seen before. For the first time in three years Ian was in the same room with a Milkovich and he had no clue how to act. He wanted - no he needed to leave, but he would no doubt be noticed. He wrapped his shaky hands around the almost empty mug and drew in a shaky breath. Why did he come here? Why didn’t he just go home? He could be in his room right now reading a book, instead he was sitting in the same room with someone he had never wanted to see again.  
He watched as the girl said something to the guy with her and then headed off to the bathroom. Seeing his chance, Ian wasted no time leaving. He threw a few bills on the table knowing it was too much but not caring in the least, and he walked to the exit not looking back once.   
Ian didn’t slow down until he was a few blocks away from the diner, a feeling of rage suddenly overcame him. He was so sick of this shit. Sick of the fear that kept him from being a regular guy. He needed to leave this place and all the shitty feelings that went along with it. He was never going to be normal, he knew that, but he had a better shot at some sort of a sane existence far far away from the South Side. It was time to move on with his life make a better one for himself. Somewhere Mandy and her fucked up family could ever find him.  
Convincing his family wasn’t something he looked forward to, but Ian was 18 and it was time to be on his own away from his controlling, but well meaning family. If he was ever gonna heal, he needed to do it away from the place and people that had done all the damage. Maybe he could talk to Clayton, he had been bugging Ian ever since he was contacted by a very angry Lip to be in his life in some capacity.   
When Clayton had walked into his hospital room, no one was more shocked than Ian. The older man had looked tired and worn, and there had been a look on his face that at the time Ian was too messed up to interpret, but later when he had time to really think about it, he knew it was regret and concern. Ian had been so mad at Lip when he had confessed to calling their uncle, he remembered screaming at him accusing him of wanting to get rid of him so he didn’t have to deal with Ian’s new handicap. Lip’s response had been prompt and slightly hurt.  
“You stupid fuck how could you even think that? You’re my little brother man and I always want what’s best for you. Clayton has the money to make that possible.”  
But Ian hadn’t been interested in any help from him and had made that fact known with shouts of fury. Clayton had left then but not before telling Ian if he ever changed his mind, he knew where to find him.  
Maybe he would take him up on his offer, let him play dad for a little bit, Ian would do anything to make the hell he was living just a little more bearable. Plans of what he needed to do started to form as Ian headed home. Shower, bed, and sleep, then handle everything else tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always kudos and comments are welcomed. They keep the creative juices flowing.


	5. Ian

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There will be a slight time jump in this chapter. Nothing major, just needed to for where I wanna take this. There maybe more ahead though. Don't sweat it the time in between will be mentioned and explained as it goes.

CHAPTER FIVE

EIGHT MONTHS LATER:

Ian walked out of the building with a slight smile on his face, he was smiling more often lately, felt kinda weird actually. He had just gotten through another therapy session, Clayton had suggested he change to a new therapist, one that specialized in PTSD and victims of gay bashing. It had helped, not a lot at first of course, but he was slowly coming to accept that it wasn’t wrong to feel the way he felt. Despite all the fear and pain and nightmares, there could be a light at the end of the tunnel. He couldn’t quite see it yet, but he now believed it was there.  
He had never dreamed that he would get this far, but he did. When he had called Clayton he had hoped for the best, but wasn’t too optimistic, he was glad to be proven wrong. To say that the older man had been happy to hear from him was an understatement, he had come to pick him up the next day. He offered Ian the little studio above his garage and Ian had jumped at the chance. It was more than he ever imagined would come of it. Since then Ian had been more open to accepting the older man in his life. So far he hasn’t regretted it, but time will tell.  
The only dark spot was Fiona and Lip, to say they were against him moving was dead on. They fought and pleaded but in the end, since Ian had left and things were a little strained between them. They couldn’t accept that Ian wanted to leave, accept the help from his biological father, despite it being Lip who had brought Clayton back into his life. Ian had pleaded with them then told them how much he hated it there and how he knew that being in South Side was not helping him move on from what had happened, eventually they had accepted it, but they barely got along these days, and while that bothered him, he didn’t regret what he had done.  
He had started college a few months ago, Clayton had helped him enroll, even paid the tuition so he could concentrate on school instead of working. It was weird to actually have a parental figure in his life that wasn’t Fiona, but he was getting used to it. Lucy wasn’t as accepting though, it seemed she moved out when Ian had moved in. Taking his half brother with her. Ian refused to feel bad though, he needed this. Clayton had assured Ian that it wasn’t his fault, that he and Lucy had been heading in this direction for awhile now, Ian didn’t know what to make of that comment. He tended not to dwell on it.  
It was Friday night, Gallagher family dinner night, it was still in the beginning stages though, it was the one thing Ian had promised Fiona when he left. Regular weekly dinners so they could catch up on what was happening in each others lives.(in the above paragraph you state they barely talk, so you may want to tweak that since he sees them weekly) Ian hated going back there though. Hated the way he felt, but he was determined to not let Fiona down. The tension that still resided between the three elder siblings was still evident to anyone who cared to look.   
He walked towards the Jeep Clayton had insisted on him having, something about not needing to walk when the Jeep was just sitting there collecting dust. Both ignoring the fact that it looked like it had just stepped off a showroom floor. Clearly Clayton had made the purchase recently, but he let him believe he didn’t see straight through that lie. Climbing in he started it and turned towards South Side, time to get this shit show started.

Pulling up outside the familiar run down house, Ian shut the engine off, he sat there for a few minutes allowing himself the time to use the calming technique that his doctor had suggested when he felt himself begin to panic. Picturing the sunrise in his mind, he let the beauty calm him. After a few minutes had gone by, Ian opened the door and headed into the house.   
“Hey, I’m home!” he called out when he crossed over the doorstep, drawing the attention of Debbie and Carl who was busy playing some sort of game on the tv. 

“Ian!” Debbie said excitedly before jumping up and diving happily into Ian’s arms.   
“I missed you. Carl got suspended from school today for fighting, and he threw away the suspension slip so Fiona couldn’t see it.”   
“Hey, you’re nothing but a big fat snitch!” Carl said, causing Debbie to stick her tongue out in reply. Ian laughed, he really missed these two.   
“Carl, how are you gonna hide something like that from Fiona, huh?”   
His little brother looked puzzled, then his eyes lit up.  
“I’ll just hang down by the playground ‘til school’s out. Easy peasy.”  
“Except the principle will call Fiona when they don’t receive a call from her. Or have you forgotten that you’re required to send the signed slip when you return to school.”   
“Shit,“ Carl said, resigned to Fiona grounding him for the rest of his childhood.  
“What was the fight about anyway?” Ian asked curiously, sitting down on the living room chair.  
“People don’t know how to keep their noses out of things that don’t concern them.”   
“Care to elaborate on that?” Ian asked watching as Carl seemed to clam up, defensive posture shouting leave it be.

“No.“ Ian nodded deciding not to push, knowing Fiona will have the younger boy singing like a canary bird soon enough. He can never hold out to her for long. None of them could really. He and Lip had been in plenty of trouble through the years, but she had her hands full with Carl, he made them look like innocent babies. “Where is she anyway?” Ian asked, knowing by the absence of Liam that she couldn’t be there.  
“She went over to Sheila’s to get Liam. Frank has been staying over there a lot recently so Sheila offered to watch him while Fiona was at work.”  
The news didn’t come as a great surprise to Ian, Frank always managed to swindle his way onto unsuspecting women all the time. Looking for free room and board while finding ways to swindle their money away from them.   
“Lip tried to kill Frank,” Carl announced abruptly, causing Debbie to hit him in response.  
“What? It’s true, he slept with Karen and she posted on the internet. And Lip went postal, tried to run him over with a car.”  
“Carl!” Debbie shouted, Ian knew that Debbie was still holding out hope that Frank would somehow grow into being a loving parent, and sadly he knew that she was in for one hell of a disappointment. Frank will never care about anything other than where his next drink was coming from. His kids were so far down his list of things he cared about. He just hoped the fall out wasn’t too hard on her when she figured it out.  
“Frank’s an asshole and Karen will sleep with anybody, although admittedly she sunk to a new low if she slept with Frank.” Ian got up and walked into the kitchen, deciding to get supper started before Fiona got home. Debbie followed closely behind telling him all about the latest gossip in school. It was comforting to know that little ever changed in the Gallagher household,  
Looking at the weekly dinner schedule on the fridge, Ian went about getting the stuff together for the spaghetti dinner Fiona had written for today's meal. Asking Debbie to set the table, he put the water on to boil.   
The door opened in the living room followed by Liam’s running footsteps announcing Fiona’s return. He wiped his hands on a towel and braced himself for the questions that were no doubt going to come his way, Ian waited for Fiona to enter the kitchen.  
“Hey sweetface, sorry I’m late. Sheila wouldn’t let me leave without showing me everything Liam did today. How are you feeling?” Fiona asked, pulling Ian into a tight hug.  
“I’m good, Fi. Honest. Just came from my doctor’s appointment. Meds are good. I’m good.”   
Ian tried to head her off at the pass, hoping if he offered up information, this part of the evening would be over with and they could move on.  
“Good to hear. You sleeping alright?”   
Ian couldn’t help but stiffen at the question, why can’t they just accept it when he says he is doing alright. They always had to push things further than Ian was willing to go. He has had a good few months, yes the nightmares still plagued him, but not nearly as much. And he accepted that he may never get rid of them.   
“Sure,” he said, turning to greet Liam, effectively ending the subject, missing the tightening of Fiona’s smile at the deliberate brush off. After saying his hellos to his baby brother Ian asked a question of his own.  
“So where’s Lip?”  
“He had to work late today, but he will be here when dinner is ready,” Fiona said, putting the spaghetti in boiling water and stirring it. Ian nodded, got the drinks out of the fridge and started to fill the glasses. Ian still couldn’t understand why Lip never tried to get into college. Instead he decided to get a job he hated, when he could be in school making something of himself. It irked him sometimes that he himself had to work so hard to grasp things that Lip could do in his sleep.   
“Hey everyone,“ Lip had apparently come in sometime between Fiona’s answering his question and him feeling sorry for himself. He returned the hug Lip gave him and braced himself for more of the same questions he just answered, he was pleasantly surprised when Lip jumped right in to complaining about his day. He was on a roll too as he spoke about how they give jobs to anyone these days, and that he didn’t know how much more he could take, when Ian’s attention was suddenly on Fiona and her strange behaviour. She was frantically waving her hands back and forth trying and failing to get Lip’s attention. He was just about to ask her what in the hell was wrong, when Lip let slip the reason for his upset, and Ian felt as if the walls were caving in on him.  
“Man, fuck that place and their insistance that they help the ex cons turn over a new leaf. And while we are on the subject, fuck Mickey Milkovich too.”  
“Jesus Christ, Lip!” Fiona finally screamed, and Lip paled when he realized what he just revealed.  
“Ian-” Fiona said taking a hesitant step towards him, but Ian wasn’t listening he was trying to catch his breath. He hadn’t had a panic attack in months, he had almost forgotten how hard it was to come out of one.  
“Don’t touch me,” Ian breathed knowing that any form of physical contact would just make it worse. “Just please don’t touch me.”  
“Ian, man I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” Ian breathed a little better now and said,   
“It’s fine, Lip. Just give me a minute.“ Ian walked slowly over to the table and sat down, wanting nothing more than to just go home. But he knew that Fiona and Lip wouldn’t let him and he also knew he was in no shape to drive. Not right now at least, he laid his head across his folded arms and concentrated on working through the last of the panic, thankful that this one wasn’t as bad as it could have been. He was doing so well too. It was so frustrating one step forward and two steps back. Sighing he raised his head up, and hoped they would just let this be.  
“Debs, tell Carl dinner is ready,“ Fiona said softly and started serving up spaghetti. Ian let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding at Fiona’s letting the subject rest at least for now.

The rest of the night seemed to go without a hitch, much to Ian’s relief. Lip and Fiona hadn’t brought up his episode. And Kev and V and their two girls made an appearance too. It was a nice visit, for a change, despite the blip. Ian hugged everyone goodbye and ignored how tight Fiona had squeezed and the extra long hug from Lip, he climbed in his car and headed home.

Laying his keys on the table, Ian kicked off his shoes and headed straight to his bedroom. He was emotionally drained and decided to skip his shower and go straight to bed after taking his meds. Hopefully he could get a good night's sleep, he had a big test on Monday and the weekend was gonna be filled with studying. Maybe he would go out too, he hadn’t had the time to go anywhere lately, and he had heard about the new club that had opened, it was supposed to be both hetero and gay friendly. Maybe he could get some company for the night, he thought settling in and closing his eyes, almost laughing out loud when he remembered Clayton’s reaction to finding a strange guy leaving his apartment. While Clayton knew he was gay, he had never seen Ian with a man. At first Ian had been scared, thinking that Clayton would kick him out, but he was strangely supportive after the initial shock wore off. It was freeing not having to hide who he was. Not that he went out of his way to flaunt it, he wasn’t that brave. But he didn’t have to hide it as much. North Side people didn’t care who anyone banged, not like South Side. With that last thought Ian slipped into a deep sleep.


	6. Mickey

CHAPTER SIX

Mickey officially hated Lip Gallagher. Not that he had ever liked the prick to begin with, but he literally could not stand the asshole. Ever since he had started working at the same garage as the other man, he had seemed to go out of his way to make his life miserable. And if he wasn’t afraid of breaking his parole and ending up back in the can, he would’ve knocked the mother fucker out a long time ago.  
Like right now, instead of working Lip was glaring holes through Mickey’s back, and he decided right then and there he was through with the bullshit. This asshole was gonna tell him what was up his ass, or Mickey was gonna put a boot to the side of his head. Throwing down the wrench, Mickey walked over toward him, and almost laughed as the fucker stood straighter and squared his shoulders. Did this fucker actually think he could beat his ass?  
“Aright, fuckhead. What the fuck cawled up your ass?’”   
“Nothing crawled up my ass.”   
Mickey sighed, rubbing the side of his mouth with his thumb, so he wanted to deny it? Mickey wasn’t some green kid, he knew when someone was staring him down. And Lip had been doing nothing but glaring at him the whole time he was at work. “Bullshit. You have been trying to goad me into a fight since day one. Mind telling me why? I haven’t seen you in years so I know you have no reason to be gunning to get your ass handed to you.”  
‘Well why don’t you do it then? All you Milkoviches are good for anyways. Putting the beat down on someone and then getting away with it.”   
The accusation stopped Mickey in his tracks. He met Lip’s eyes and saw the pent up hatred that he had for him. He knew what it was about right then, and he tried to reign in his immediate reaction, the fucker didn’t need to know he was aware of what this was about.  
“What you still pissed over the beating I gave you in high school? That was all ancient history man, you deserved it too. Told you I wanted an ‘A’, you didn’t deliver. So you got whipped”  
“Fuck you! This has nothing to do with that and you know it, you egotistical son of a bitch. This is about you and your homophobic pieces of shit family. This is about how your prick of a father left my brother broken and bleeding to death, all because he comitted the sin of being gay! So fuck you you piece of shit.”   
Mickey watched as the other man literally fell apart. He listened not even bothering to defend himself as Lip listed all the evil Terry had reigned down on Ian Gallagher.  
“Were you in on it too? Did you enjoy carving into my little brothers back with a knife? Or wer you the one responsible for the blow to his head that caused him to lose his hearing, you ignorant fuck.”  
The accusations were getting louder and louder until Mickey was afraid someone would hear.  
“I wasn’t there, Gallagher.”  
The softness of Mickey’s response seemed to pull Lip out of his tirade “What?”  
“I said, I wasn’t there. I was on a run with Jaime when it happened. Didn’t even hear about it until my Dad got out of the can six months ago.”  
“Doesn’t matter if you were or not, you can’t tell me you wouldn’t have been if you were in town.”  
That was something he couldn’t deny. When Terry spoke, you listened or you would pay and pay dearly. All the fag bashings he took part in came to mind, and he knew if Jaime hadn’t needed him he would have been there in the thick of things. The thought sickened him, he vaguely remembers the redhead.,ith his millions of freckles. He also remembers wanting to put the beat down on him for what he did to Mandy, the vow he made to kick his ass, and Mandy’s sudden change of mind.   
“No I can’t, but that doesn’t change the facts. I wasn’t there so you can quit with the buff attitude.”  
“You're still trash, Milkovich. And nothing you say will ever change my mind,” Lip stated before shoulder chucking him as he walked away, Mickey let him go though. It wasn’t worth losing his job over. If he lost this job he violates parole and there was no way he was going to risk that. He was done with that part of his life.   
He was biding his time, saving money. He was getting the hell out of Terry’s house. He and Mandy had talked about it the night they found out their dad fag bashed Gallagher. Mandy had been devastated, she blamed herself for what had happened. Her lie about Ian’s attacking her had held far too big of a consequence. She had broken down and told him the full truth that night. And then she dropped the bomb shell. 

“I’m getting out of here, Mickey. Leaving this hell hole and never looking back.” 

He had told her then she wasn’t leaving without him so they put together a plan, so far between them they had a good chunk of change saved up, soon they could leave South Side and Terry far behind. 

Mickey walked slowly up the walk in front of his house, glad this week of hell was finally over. Hopefully Terry and his brothers were out somewhere raising hell. Shockingly enough Terry has yet to do anything to break parole, so that meant he was still hanging around and making life miserable for those around him. Mickey tried to stay out of his way as much as possible, but that wasn’t always doable. Spotting the beat up old buick parked out in front of the house, he wasted no time turning and walking the other direction.  
He couldn’t go in and pretend everything was fine, not after today, Lip’s accusations had hit home. And he couldn’t quite figure out why he let what the asshole said bother him so much. He was well aware of what being a Milkovich meant, it was beaten into him from the time he could walk. School wasn’t much better, the teachers never expected that much from him, all because of who his family was. It sucked, but he was used to it.  
Terry had earned quite a name for himself as a bigot, and he was a raging homophobic ass to boot. He thought the only good fag was a dead fag. And had proven it time and time again by beating and sometimes killing anyone he considered to be a pole smoking queer. 

When Mickey had turned fourteen, Terry had gone all out, big party, booze drugs, and whores.   
Mickey remembered trying to stay as far away from Terry as he could, drunk Terry was a mean son of a bitch. But drunk, drugged up Terry was homicidal. He thought he had gotten away with successfully avoiding him when he was spotted.  
“Mickey, my boy, get your ass over here.” Not wanting to risk spoiling Terry’s extremely good mood, he hurried to do his bidding. “Today is your lucky day, boy. You are in for a real treat, most boys your age lose their virginity to someone who has no clue about the ways to please a man. Well, Becky here is gonna rock your world.”   
He remembered looking at the whore that was sitting on Terry’s lap, she was every bit as wasted as Terry. But she hadn’t hesitated in grabbing his arm and leading him from the room. He was never so nervous in his life, Mickey knew this was gonna end with him dead. He had known for a long time that he was in no way attracted to girls. Popping a boner while watching some of Iggy’s porn, it wasn’t the woman moaning on the screen that had done it either, it was the size of the cock that was pounding furiously into her. He remembered it had taken forever to get a boner, floppy tits dangling in his face were not a turn on for him. But the whore started sucking his dick and a warm mouth felt the same regardless of who it was so he laid back closed his eyes and pretended. Once he was hard enough, she sank down on him and went to town.   
Afterwards he made it a point to fuck chicks regularly, if Terry ever got wind that he was a fag, he was as good as dead. In juvie though, he got all the dick he wanted. He’d done all the fucking though. And lately it was Boystown in dark alleys. A quick blowie by a twink was golden. Too bad it hasn’t happened in awhile. He couldn’t risk it, not with Terry home.

While he had been taking a trip down memory lane, he was shocked to discover he had ended up in front of the abandoned building he had claimed as his own. He had been coming here for as long as he could remember. This is the one place he could get away from the hell that was his life and just be. Walking over to the old ratty couch, he flopped down lighting a cigarette he drew in deeply and sighed. He would stay here for a bit then head back. 

ONE MONTH LATER:

“Pick up your end, you fucker. This thing is heavy,” Mickey shouted at Iggy. Barely able to hold on to his end of the heavy couch. Iggy grumbled under his breath before lifting the tattered couch higher.   
They had finally saved enough up to get a shitty apartment on the outskirts of South Side and had roped Iggy into helping them move. They were all tired, but Mickey had also just got off an eight hour shift so he was not in the mood to be nice. And this asshole wasn’t making it any easier. He had been doing nothing but bitching since they started and it was wearing on Mickey’s already frayed nerves.  
Finally they had the couch where he wanted it and he flopped wearily down on it. Accepting the beer Mandy handed him, he opened it and took a hefty swig, Knowing they were nowhere near done. But luckily enough he didn’t have to work for the next two days.  
“Let’s get this torture finished, I need to get to bed.” 

They all groaned and headed out the door. Each of them not wanting to do it but knew they had to.


	7. Mandy

CHAPTER SEVEN

Mandy was bored, no two ways about it, she thought it would make for a nice change to work in a restaurant where the customers weren’t hitting on her all the time. But she was wrong, this place was the worst place yet. The customers were snooty rich people who always looked down on her like she was scum. Being a Milkovich, it was something she had gotten used to, but this was a whole new level. The last guy she waited on asked her if she washed her hands before handling his food, it was all she could do not to throw the damn plate in his face. She was a Southsider through and through, and it showed. Which is why these rich fucks thought they were better than her. She should’ve known what would happen when she accepted the job. Places back home don’t have two sets of silverware, and they for damn sure don’t dress in their Sunday best just to eat lunch, hell consider yourself lucky if you even got lunch. Fuck them.  
She looked up when the door opened and just about swallowed the gum she was chewing, it had been years since she last saw him, but she would recognize the redhead anywhere. He had changed, was her first thought, the son of a bitch had gotten even more beautiful if that was even possible. He was taller and broader than she remembered, and his hair was shaved on the sides and back, longer on the top. It was a good look on him. He hadn’t spotted her yet, he was talking to another guy, he looked like an older version of Ian. She remembered hearing Frank Gallagher bitching about his no good brother sleeping with Monica and apparently Ian was the result. She watched as they walked over to the empty booth in front of the window sitting down across from one another they each picked up the menu. Why did they have to pick the booth that was in her section? Half of her wanted to ask Angie to take their order, but then she would owe her, and she wasn’t down for that, besides Milkoviches don’t back down from a challenge. Ignoring the butterflies that seemed to take up residence in her stomach, she took out her order pad, pasted a smile on her face, and walked over to face her past.

“Hello, would you like a drink while deciding what you want to order?” Mandy winced at the softness of her voice, and if Ted knew she didn’t give the stupid little speech he had demanded everyone to say, she would lose her job. She was just happy she could say anything at all.  
“Yes, two ice waters to start off with please,” the older of the two said, a smile adorning his face, but Mandy was too busy watching Ian and his sudden loss of color to hear him.  
When Ian had heard her speak, he looked up. She couldn’t stop herself from meeting his eyes. He had yet to say anything, but his reaction to her presence spoke louder than words ever could. He stiffened then his face had lost all color. She was afraid he was going to pass out. Instinctively she reached out a steadying hand, she watched as his eyes widened, and he couldn’t seem to pull back fast enough.  
It hurt, seeing him flinch away from her. And by the look on his face it was taking everything he had not to jump up and run out. But even as she went to take a step back to allow him room to leave, he squared his shoulders and bravely met her eyes.  
“Mandy. He said so low she could barely hear him, but hey, at least he was talking to her. “How are you?”  
“Good. I’m doing good. I haven't seen you in here before.”   
“No. Not usually here on Tuesdays.”  
The conversation was stilted, nothing like the night they stayed out all night telling one another anything and everything. They had clicked despite their rocky beginning, they had connected. She knew then they were going to become best friends. Then he went missing for all those months only to return and ghost her. She figured, fuck him, he only talked to her so she would call off her brothers. Little did she know he was recovering from the beating that Terry gave him, when she found out about it, she knew then that he had probably blamed her for it. Seemed she was right. He blamed her for everything he had gone through, and she knew he had every reason to. It was her lie that had started the whole thing.  
“Ian, introduce me to your friend.”  
“Clayton, this is Mandy, we went to school together.” The generic introduction only drove the point home harder, Ian hated her.  
“Nice to meet you, Mandy. Ian’s never mentioned you before.”   
“No, I don’t imagine he did. We only knew each other in passing,” Mandy lied, not knowing what, if anything, Ian had told him about his attack.  
“You live around here? Maybe you two can get to know one another again.” Ian seemed to pale even more at the suggestion. And then Clayton seemed to realize what he had said and looked uncomfortable.  
Ian was glaring at Clayton then, and the older man looked like he was about to apologize and Mandy decided to make herself scarce. She let the two of them hash it out, because she wasn’t sticking around to hear what Ian had to say. She would just have to owe Annie because there was no way she was going to subject Ian to her unwanted company again.

Mandy shut and locked the door behind her, never again would she complain about how boring her job was. After Ian and Clayton had left, her night worsened. She kept getting orders mixed up and she had, accidentally on purpose, poured water in the lap of the old douche who seemed to think it was ok to grab her ass. She never wanted another night like this again, if she even still had a job, the old man's reaction had been over the top, he had jumped up demanding to see her supervisor and it had gone downhill from there. She couldn’t bring herself to regret it though, she needed the laugh it had brought after the shitty day she had. She slipped off her shoes and headed toward the living room, she heard the tv so that meant that Mickey was pretending he wasn’t waiting up for her again. It was a habit he never seemed to be able to shake, and though she never showed it, she always appreciated it.  
“Hey, shithead, what are you still doing up?” Mandy knew the drill she pretended to be shocked to find him still up, while he pretended to be engrossed in whatever was on tv at the time.  
“Jaws marathon.”   
She nodded and walked over to flop down next to him and grabbed a beer from the six pack he had sitting on the coffee table. Ignoring the pissed protest, she took a huge swallow, sat back, and sighed wearily.  
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She glanced over to find Mickey staring at her, she hated when he cropped his eyebrows like that. When they were younger she used to wonder how he did it, now she just found it annoying.  
“I had the day from hell. From start to finish the whole day sucked ass. First there was the never ending boredom, the kind that makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a spoon. Then you will never guess in a million years who came in tonight.”  
“Don’t fucking care who came in. No one wants to hear about some rich fuck you wanna bang.”   
“Believe me this guy wouldn’t bang me, even if I had a dick.” The comment seemed to catch Mickey’s interests though. “Ian Gallagher. “  
“What the fuck was he doing there?”  
“I do believe it’s called eating, Mickey. I do work in a place that sells food.” He seemed to ignore that just kept looking at her waiting for an answer.  
“I don’t know why he was there, he came in with some dude, think it was his dad.”  
“You don’t remember what Frank looks like? What the fuck we just saw him the other day.”  
“Not Frank, he isn’t Ian’s dad, and before you ask, no he didn’t tell me, you know how word spreads. Now quit interrupting and let me finish. He barely said two words to me, he was too busy trying not to leave. God he looked like he saw a ghost. And who could blame him? I’m the reason Terry went after him.”  
“Hey, we already had this discussion. We can’t control what Terry does, you had no way of knowing he even overheard him.”  
“He doesn’t know that. As far as he knows, I ran home and told Daddy dearest all about the little fag that turned me down. Jesus, I wish I had just left him alone. But he was so different from all the other boys. Quiet, didn’t try to get in my pants. He saw someone who needed help and he provided it, and paid dearly as a result.”  
“Think he will come back?” Mickey asked. “If he does maybe you can let him know that.”  
“Oh yeah, that is a great idea. ‘Hey Ian just wanted to let you know, I’m not responsible for you getting bashed.’ He would probably knock me on my ass on his way to the door. No, if he shows up again I will let him be, it’s the least I can do,”  
“Whatever, I’m going to bed. Some of us have to work in the morning.” Too tired to do anything else, she let her finger do her talking, and got up and headed to bed herself.


	8. Ian

CHAPTER EIGHT

Ian didn’t know how to feel about seeing Mandy tonight. He wasted no time vacating the premises, which had resulted in him making all the current changes he had going on. So in a weird way she was as responsible for his taking back the control over his life as she was with causing the whole thing to crash and burn in the first place. Was he thankful for it, hell no, but it was something to think about, and he tended to do a lot of thinking these days.  
Would he be able to handle seeing her again? He took the time to really think it over, maybe it was something he could talk about today at his appointment. Maybe Phil could help him figure out exactly what it was he was feeling, he was good at that. He never dreamed he would benefit from going, Fiona’s Gallagher’s don’t do therapy had been a big factor in his way of thinking. Clayton’s response had been what had changed his mind, at least he thinks it was. ‘No, Monica doesn’t do therapy, doesn’t mean you can’t’.  
Monica. The woman whose DNA had been responsible for his diagnoses. Her constant coming into their lives and causing chaos only to leave and cause pain was one of the many reasons he had stuck with his meds, not wanting to be anything like her was a great incentive She would rather blow in and out of their lives then stay on her meds and be a constant part of it. It hurt, but he had gotten good at hiding it. They all had, even Frank. As much as he hated him, he couldn’t say he didn’t love Monica. There were very few things in this world that Frank Gallagher loved. Drugs, alcohol, scamming people for money to support the first two. And last but certainly not least, Monica. He lost track of how many times Frank would take her back, despite knowing she would never stay.   
He knew what Monica went through, the mania made you feel like you were ten feet tall and bulletproof, it was addicting, the high was phenomenal so much so that when it started to go the other way you chase the feeling with drugs hoping to retain that high for just a little bit longer. But the opposite side of the coin was the doozy. The lows, the feeling of falling into a hole, and feeling like you can never get out, and you're not really sure if you want to anyway. The despair of wanting to die just so you didn’t have to feel that way anymore.   
Yeah, he knew exactly what she went through, that was why he took the meds, not that they took it all away, but they made it more manageable. Pulling into the first parking spot he saw, Ian shut the car off. He got out and headed over to the building he went to twice a week, hoping for some answers.

“Good afternoon, Ian. How are you today?”  
Ian smiled at the bubbly receptionist, Lisa had an aura about her that was refreshing. He had liked her from the start.   
“Hey, Lisa. I’m ok. How about you?”  
“Oh, can’t complain. Have a seat, the doctor will be with you in a few minutes.”  
Ian walked over and sat down, picked up the magazine that someone had left behind, and settled in to wait.  
“Ian, he will see you now.”  
Standing up he followed Lisa into the office, she let him in then shut the door softly behind him.

“Hello, Ian. Come in and have a seat. I believe you know the drill by now.”  
Ian walked slowly over to the seat in front of the desk, just like every other time he came here, he found himself reluctant to sit down. It was frustrating but there you go. Neither of them said anything for the first few minutes. Ian because he hated baring his soul to anyone, and Ed because it was his job to frustrate his patients into talking. It was a never ending battle of wills. One that Ed seemed to always win, and by the looks of things today would be no different.  
“So I saw Mandy again,” Ian blurted out, then wanted to punch himself in the face for leading with that particular statement.  
“And how did that go?” Short question, but right to the point, as always.  
“It went.” Ian tried to remain strong under the probing gaze of the man in front of him but gave up the fight. He was never gonna win anyway. “I wanted to leave, run away like I did the last time.”  
“And what stopped you?”  
“Mostly because she was standing between me and the door. That and Clayton was there, really didn’t want to explain the sudden panicked exit.”  
“And when you calmed down?” Ian hated Ed so much, he hated that he knew him so well. Hated that he knew there would be something to calm down. The man was good at his job.  
“I introduced her to Clayton as someone I knew from school and sat there as he tried to get me a friend to hang out with. You know how frustrating it is when someone refuses to believe that you are fully capable of making your own friends?”  
“To be fair, Ian you really don’t go out of your way to make friends.”  
“That’s not true. Just because I don’t spend my life socializing doesn’t mean I don’t have friends. I have to concentrate on school.” Ian hated that he felt like he had to defend himself. So he didn’t go out every night and hang out with the party crowd. He had done plenty of that before and look where that had gotten him.  
“While I admire your dedication to school, you need to socialize more. We talked about this before, Ian. You can have friends, not everyone expects you to drink and do drugs you know.”  
“I know that.”  
“Do you really?”  
Ian knows what he is waiting for, why does the man have all those letters after his name? He never tells you anything, he makes you figure it out yourself. It pisses him off sometimes.  
“I tried the whole friend thing before. Didn’t work out so well. So excuse me for not wanting to open myself up to it again.”  
“Ian, have you put some thought into what I suggested before?” Ian eyed the doctor, not liking where this was heading.   
“No, I haven’t.” He hoped he would just let it go, but Ian was never that lucky was he?  
“It might help-”  
“How can talking to Mandy help? I couldn’t say two words to her last night. What makes you think I will be able to have a whole conversation with her?”  
“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, Ian. Look how far you’ve come, you’ve made leaps and bounds. And this is the second step to working towards what you want to accomplish.”  
“Doesn’t feel like it. Feels like I take one step forward and three large steps back.”  
“Nonsense. If you ever want to be strong enough to stand up and confront your attackers, you have to be able to take the first step.”  
Ian had a plan, at least he was forced into having a plan. When he had first started coming here, Ed had asked him what he was there for. What was the end goal was. He had shocked himself when he said he wanted Terry to pay for what he had done to him. He wanted to be able show him that he may have been responsible for almost killing him, taking away his dreams of a military career and scaring his body in the process but that he hadn’t succeeded in breaking him totally.   
But he doesn’t think he will ever be strong enough, Terry will go on ruining people’s lives just because they aren’t wired the way he believes they should be while he stands back and does nothing. It sucks so much, people like Terry should be made to pay for what they do, but people like him are just too chicken shit to make it happen.  
“I will never be strong enough. Just the thought of seeing him makes me shake.”  
“Yes, you will. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but you will one day. PTSD isn’t something you get rid of, Ian. But there are ways to overcome it to a degree of being able to do what you want. Remember your calming exercises, when you feel an attack coming on, they may not help prevent it, but they will help you get through it. Just think about it some more please.”   
Ian nodded, not wanting to promise anything but he will think about it  
“Well, I do believe it’s time for you to leave me once more. Remember to stop and get your next appointment off Lisa.”  
Ian stood and walked out of the room, already feeling the effects that coming here always seems to do. He was bone tired, and all he wanted to do was go home and sleep away the rest of the day. Unfortunately he promised Lip he would meet up with him today. Maybe one of these days he will actually remember not to schedule anything on appointment days. He doubts it, but he can dream right?

It’s just like Lip to be late, he was the one who called him wanting to meet up, claiming he never gets to see him anymore, which he calls bullshit, he can’t be blamed if Lip hardly shows up to Fiona’s mandatory dinners. Which is also bullshit, he is older now, an adult, why does he have to check in all the damn time? Oh he knew the reasoning behind it, doesn’t mean he has to like it though. Drumming his fingers on the table in front of him, Ian lets his mind wonder back to what Ed said, was he strong enough to talk to Mandy? Ask her why she did it? Or was Ed just setting him up to fail? He didn’t think it was something he would do but he didn’t trust his judgement these days. Lip sitting down drew him out of his musings, he must have come in while Ian was lost in thought. By the looks of his facial expression this wasn’t going to be them meeting and catching up, something must have happened, bracing himself he waited for Lip to say what was on his mind.  
“Hey, man. Sorry I’m late but shit is real fucked up and it couldn’t be helped.”  
It was just what Ian feared then, moving away didn’t save him from dealing with all problems Gallagher, it just saved him from the day to day minor shit. The heavier shit was still dealt with as a group.   
“Carl got himself into some deep shit this time, don’t think a stint in juvie is gonna cut it.”  
What the fuck! What could Carl have possibly done that warranted even a possibility of jail.   
“What did he do this time?”   
“Seems like Carl didn’t learn his lesson last time. Doing time for selling drugs was bad enough. He had to take it a few hundred steps further and get involved with a fucking shoot out. It’s a nightmare and Fiona is about to lose her shit. The guy who was going to buy the drugs turned out to be an undercover, and a shitty one at that. Someone smelled a rat and opened fire, the guy is in critical care and not expected to make it. Carl was right in the thick of it, and was arrested along with his drug pushing buddies.”  
It was so much worse than Ian could’ve ever imagined, what in the hell was Carl thinking. Was he even thinking at all?  
“Did they set bail yet?” Ian asked already thinking about how much he needed to withdraw for his part of it.  
“He is being held without bail,”’  
“How can they do that? He isn’t the one who shot the guy.”  
“Due to the nature of the crime bail was denied to all parties.”  
“Fuck!” Ian ignored the stares that were burning holes through his back, he wasn’t worried about offending anyone’s delicate feelings. This is the South Side for fucks sake, his outburst wasn’t that uncommon.  
“Exactly. Fucked indeed. We always knew Carl was going to be a handful, but never in even my wildest imagination did I dream that this would happen. Frank at his worst would never be stupid enough to be involved in something like this.”  
Ian was at a loss, what were they going to do? None of them had the kind of money it would take to get Carl the lawyer he would no doubt need. In Ian’s stress he forgot that Clayton was a highly paid defense lawyer, but Lip hadn’t.  
“Think you can talk to Clayton?” Ian stared at him for a whole minute before his brain caught up.  
“I don’t know man. I can talk to him, but he has a full caseload right now. I can ask though.”  
He tried to ignore the look of disbelief Lip was sending him. But he can’t just assume Clayton would be able to help, it didn’t work that way. As much as he wanted to demand his help, he was realistic in his thinking. Clayton has been buried with cases lately. He has even turned down multiple high profile cases handing them over to his aid to pass them on to someone else in the firm. So they will have to suck it up if he couldn’t and he refused to take any shit over it.   
“I can’t believe you, this is Carl, Ian!!!!”  
“I realize that, Lip and I said I would talk to him. If he can’t, maybe he will know someone who can.”  
“No, not good enough. What is with you? Ever since you moved into Daddy’s house you're too good to rub elbows with us little folk? You're even driving around in a car that would pay our rent for years.”  
“First of all, fuck you for even thinking that. Second, that car is Clayton’s not mine. You have no right to sit back and judge me. Not when you of all people should understand why I had to move.”  
Lip wasn’t listening to anything Ian was saying though he was intent on making Ian feel guilty for moving out of the South Side.  
“Bullshit that is Clayton’s car. It’s yours and you know it.”  
“What in the hell does my car have to do with anything? You're losing it, Lip. And I am leaving, tell Fiona I will let her know what Clayton has to say.”  
Ian threw his half of the bill money plus tip onto the table, not even giving Lip’s parting shot a thought.  
“That’s right, Ian run away, It’s all your good for anyway.”

Ian couldn’t believe the way Lip talked to him, sure things had been tense between them for awhile now, they had their share of arguments. It had never escalated that badly before. He thought it was something they could get passed, but now he wonders if that would even be possible. This thing with Carl seemed to escalate it even more.  
He wanted Carl to have a good defense lawyer just as much as Lip did, but what Lip failed to realize, while Clayton may be his dad, that didn’t mean he would just drop everything to defend Carl. He had every intention of asking him, which was why he was on his way back home. Hopefully he will have good news to tell Fiona later.  
Pulling into the garage he was happy to see Clayton’s car in his parking spot. He was home earlier than usual which worked out nicely for Ian. Turning the car off he headed into the main house.   
The kitchen smelled good, Clayton must have decided to make dinner. He didn’t do it very often, but when he did it was delicious. Clayton looked up when Ian walked into the room, his welcoming smile fading when he saw the look on Ian’s face.  
“Hey, kiddo everything go ok today?” It always made him uncomfortable when Clayton called him that, but he couldn’t find it in him to tell him to stop. He tried more than Frank ever did.  
“It went,” Ian said, sitting down at the table, a sudden bout of extreme fatigue overcame him. He had been trying to fight it off, but he could tell it was coming, he knew the feeling quite well. He ached all over and no matter how much sleep he got, he was never not tired. While the meds helped the highs, the lows still raised their ugly head, they just weren’t as bad as they would be without them. A low was coming, he can only hope he will be able to get out of bed in the morning.  
“Well that's reassuring. Want to talk about it?” He always asked and sometimes depending on what it was Ian shared, and Clayton never pushed he let him tell him what he was comfortable with and let the rest be. It was refreshing to what he was used to.  
“I met with Lip today,” Ian tentatively started the conversation he needed to have.  
“And? Is everything alright?”  
“No, Carl was arrested.“ The look of shock Clayton shot him was almost enough to make him laugh. “He was involved in a drug deal gone bad and an undercover cop was shot in the process. The officer is in the hospital in critical condition.”  
“Jesus, what was he thinking?” Ian did laugh then, there was no humor in it though.   
“Carl never thinks. He just rushes through life with little to no regard to the consequences of his actions.”  
“What are the chances of survival?” Ian looked at Clayton with hope, maybe he wouldn’t have to ask .  
“Don’t know for sure. But I don’t think it looks good.”  
“The judge set his bail yet?” Ian knew it then, Clayton was going to take the case, and he felt tears of relief fill his eyes.  
“Denied. All parties involved.”   
“Shit, that’s not too surprising though. He wasn’t the one to do the actual shooting though, right?  
“No. The guy the cop was talking to did the shooting.”  
“Well he’s got that much going for him then. I’ll see what my schedule is like in the morning and stop by and talk to him sometime in the afternoon.”  
“Thanks,Dad. “ Ian didn’t know who was more shocked at the name change, he or Clayton, but he didn’t regret it. Clayton had more than earned the title.  
“You’re welcome, son. Now let’s eat shall we. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day.”


	9. Mickey

CHAPTER NINE

The constant beep of the alarm he had set the night before registered through his sleep fogged mind. Groaning, Mickey hit it with a swipe of his hand, then winced as he heard it hit the floor. If he broke yet another phone he was gonna go postal. That would make the third one this year, he really needed to quit drinking when he had to work the next morning, it always came back to bite him on the ass. He supposed it didn’t help matters that he had stayed up late waiting for Mandy to get off work.   
He sat up and reached blindly for the phone and hoped for the best, found it amazingly whole, and laid it on the bed beside him and started to get ready for another jam packed day. There were two cars that needed to be finished and he needed to get a move on. Even though he knew he wasn’t the only one responsible for them, he tended to try and take it all on himself, anything to avoid associating with Lip Gallagher.   
They haven’t even really spoken since the asshole jumped down his throat, but they still had to speak on things concerning whatever they were working on at the time. It sucked balls but there was nothing to be done about it.  
He reached for the shirt he took off the night before, giving it the sniff test he deemed it clean enough and put it on. Wasn’t like he had anyone to impress and he had only worn it for a few hours last night after he showered. Pants next, socks then shoes. Running a hand through his sleep mussed hair he decided he was good enough, and went to get a much needed cup of coffee. Timers on coffee pots were the shit, someone should give the guy who thought of it a blowie or girl, he believed in giving credit where credit was due after all.   
Pouring the rest of the coffee into a travel mug, Mickey glanced at the clock and headed for the door, he had ten minutes to make it to the L, and he needed every second of it.

Walking into work to find total chaos was nothing new, especially on a Monday. Today seemed even more so going by the look on his bosses face.  
“Milkovich, just the guy I wanted to see. I need you to work with Gallagher on Mrs. Fox’s Mercedes. I need that car done by one, work through lunch if you have to, I don’t give a fuck, I just want it done.”  
Mickey refrained from shooting the fat fuck the finger and nodded before heading out into the garage. “Oh, and tell Gallagher that his brother called and said he would be stopping by later.”  
Mickey was shocked by that, no one was allowed in the garage while it was open, something about liability, Mickey wasn’t really paying attention at the time. He grabbed his tool bag and headed over to where he needed to be. Setting it down he got to work, barely sparing a glance to the man beside him he delivered the message.  
“Yo, Gallagher your brother called said he was stopping in.”  
The guy looked at him like he told him his ass was on fire or something. “Why the fuck are you looking at me like that?”   
“Did he say which one?” The question surprised him, what the hell did it matter which one it was. 

“I don’t know, man, He just said your brother. What’s the big deal, there isn’t too many of you fuckers that you can’t narrow it down. Unless some new ones sprouted.”  
“No, no new ones.” Then he returned to what he was doing, ignoring him Mickey went to work.  
“I know you don’t owe me any favors, Milkovich. But do you think you could make yourself scarce when he comes?” The question broke the quiet they had been working in for the last hour. It pissed him off, he had a job to do and he couldn’t just leave because the dick asked him to.   
“Why? Is he going to hurt my delicate feelings?” Mickey asked but the sarcasm seemed to be lost on him, because Lip calmly answered his question without the usual snark.  
“No, but you might.” The three word sentence stopped him from making anymore snide remarks. He just nodded his head and went back to work.

A little while later the buzz of the intercom alerted them that Gallagher's brother had arrived, Mickey didn’t wait for the door to open to quietly put down his wrench and head towards the back of the garage, he watched from his viewpoint though and couldn’t help the reaction he had.   
The fucker was beautiful, his hair seemed to shine in the lighting and he had a body that made Mickey wanna climb him like a tree and never come back down. Ian Gallagher was truly magnificent. He fet like a fag for even thinking it, but it was true never the less. He continued to watch helplessly as whatever they were talking about seemed to start out heatedly then fizzle out just as quickly. He was too far away to hear what was being said though, and he found himself inching forward just a bit, needing to hear the younger boys voice, just to know the sound. He wanted to punch himself for how gay he was being, and Terry for damn sure would kill him if he knew what was running through his mind. Luckily enough the fucker got picked up again Friday so there was no danger there. He winced as whatever had been lying on the floor moved noisily with his sudden movement. The noise attracted the attention of the two brothers, they both looked over and he was enraptured by the color of green. They seemed to suck him in, but then the curious look in them faded and fear took their place.   
He watched helplessly as the younger man seemed to stagger back, then he closed his eyes and started doing breathing exercises. These Mickey recognized for what they were, he had seen his mother when she was still around do them all the time. It helped to fight off panic attacks. Fuck. He walked a little closer ignoring the glare the other man was sending his way. His need to help overwhelmed him, and he just couldn’t help himself.  
“Milkovich, what the fuck are you doing?” The question seemed to catch the redhead off guard causing him to lose focus. He swayed and Mickey crossed the remaining distance at a run, catching the younger man before he fell to the floor. He started talking softly to him, hoping what he was doing wouldn’t make things worse.  
“Hey, Gallagher it’s alright. Can you look at me? Come on open them pretty green eyes.” He wasn’t paying any attention to what was coming out of his mouth, but the redhead apparently was, blue met shocked green eyes, and Mickey had to force himself to remember what he was doing. “That’s it. Now breath with me ok? In, out, in, out. You’re doing so good. Just a couple more times and everything will be good, alright?”  
Mickey watched closely as the other man seemed to be breathing easier, careful not to make any sudden movements he slowly helped him to his feet, their eyes still not breaking contact, when they were both standing, Mickey reluctantly let him go.  
“Uh, thanks.”   
The sound of his voice was like melted chocolate. And Mickey loved chocolate. And he was still being a homo. Fuck it, might as well see it through.  
“Your welcome, Ian.” The sound of his name seemed to snap him out of the trance they were in and he glanced over at Lip before looking at him once more.  
“I asked you to leave, asshole.” Lip spoke up breaking the silent staring match they were in.  
“It’s ok, Lip. I’m ok. He was just helping.”   
“No it’s not ok, Ian. He was just being an ass like usual.”  
Mickey listened as the two argued back and forth, to say he was surprised by Ian’s defense of him was an understatement. Mandy’s recount of how he had reacted to seeing her fresh in his mind. Why was he so skittish with her yet after the initial reaction, he seemed if not fine at least not as skittish with him. Maybe Mandy was right maybe he did blame her, doesn’t make his reaction to him any less confusing though. Last they saw one another he was trying to kick his ass. It was a puzzle, one he wanted so badly to solve, with any luck maybe he will get to.  
“Just let it go, Lip. Please.”   
The raised voices brought Mickey back to the present with a jolt.  
“I’m just going to go. Let you two finish working. Tell Fiona to start answering her phone. See you later on. And Mickey thanks again”  
He watched as the redhead walked away, and couldn’t help but think of the old saying- I hate to see you go, but boy do I love to watch you leave.- Ian Gallagher brought a whole new meaning to that saying.

“What the hell was that? Couldn’t you just have done what I asked and left the damn room. Instead of lurking in the corner like a stalker?”  
“Fuck you, Philip. It wasn’t intentional, and I only came over when you stood  
there like the idiot you are while your brother was having a panic attack.”  
That comment set the asshole off, and he must be feeling froggy cause the asshole was getting up in Mickey’s face.  
“Better back the fuck up off me, or I’m gonna knock you on your ass.”  
The punch took Mickey by surprise but it didn’t knock him down, instinctively he punched him back, knocking the asshole straight to the floor. He didn’t stay down though, he jumped back up and rushed at Mickey who just stepped aside and watched as he fell to the ground,  
“You done yet, asshole?”  
“Fuck you! “  
The fight was drawing attention now, and Mickey knew he was going to wind up losing his job over this fucker. But that didn’t mean he had to stoop to his level, he watched as Lou held a furious Lip by the arms and attempted to calm the violentile situation.  
“Alright, Gallagher that is enough. I think you need to go home and cool off. Come back tomorrow. See if you still have a job then. Same goes for you, Milkovich.”  
Mickey didn’t see any reason in defending himself so he just walked out, not bothering to look back at the spectacle Gallagher was no doubt still making. A drink had his name on it and that was where he was heading.

Walking into the diner that he sometimes had lunch at, Mickey was surprised to see Ian Gallagher sitting at one of the tables lost in thought. Not thinking about the consequences he walked over to join him.   
“Is it alright if I sit here?” He surprised both of them by the looks of it at the request, the redhead said nothing just motioned towards the chair in front of him.   
“What happened to your face?” The quiet question surprised him, he never dreamed he would be the first to speak.  
“It’s nothing. You should see the other guy.” Wanting to play it off, regretting it instantly when he saw the redhead’s wince. Probably not a good idea to remind him of how violent Mickey could be, not that he forgot. He seemed to take it in stride though , or he made the effort to.  
“It was Lip, wasn’t it?”  
“Don’t worry about it, man. My old man hits harder than he does.” The boy paled instantly at that, open mouth insert foot seemed to be the way this conversation was going.  
“I’m aware of that.” It was said so softly that he probably wasn’t supposed to hear it but he did anyways and it made him feel like shit.  
“Sorry, man. I’m batting a thousand today.” And wasn’t that a poor choice of words? Maybe he should just keep quiet.  
“It’s alright.”  
Mickey watched as the younger boy seemed to fold more into himself, a far cry from the confidant man who had walked into the shop a while ago. He couldn’t watch this anymore, maybe it was best to grab the bull by the horns and address the elephant in the room. Hoping it didn’t bite him on the ass though.  
“Look, my dad is a homophobic asshole who deserves to die a tragic death, but unfortunately he is like a cat, the fucker has nine lives.” He watched the boys reaction closely, knowing he was heading into forbidden territory, but forging on none the less. “ There’s nothing I can say to make things better for you. But I can apologize for the hell he put you through.”  
The redhead paled and looked like he wanted to bolt, but to Mickey’s surprise he didn’t, he did however try to stop his hands from shaking by grasping the cup in front of him tightly.  
“I wasn’t there,” green met blue in shock of that statement, “That night, I wasn’t there. I want you to know that. I know I wasn’t very nice to you the last time I saw you, but I had no part in what Terry did to you.”  
“I know that too,” Ian said, his voice was still lower than hell but at least he wasn’t running away.  
“How?” The question slipped out before he could stop it.  
“I didn’t hear you there. There were only three voices and none of them were yours.”  
Holy shit, Ian knew all along who his attackers were. I mean they figured it, him and Mandy did, but they didn’t know for sure. But then again Terry always made sure you knew why he was giving you a beat down. What he didn’t understand was why he never told, his testimony would have put Terry in jail for life. It wasn’t something he was going to ask though, he had dug enough. Time to change the subject.  
“So did you eat yet? Their hamburgers are the bomb man, you got to try one.”  
“I guess I could.”  
“Damn right you could.” The half smile the comment caused made Mickey feel like he was given a little piece of the sun, he vowed to himself that this was only the beginning. He knew Ian probably wanted nothing to do with him,but he couldn’t let that happen,he needed the redhead in his life somehow


	10. Ian

CHAPTER TEN

Hearing the ding of metal rolling across the floor drew Ian’s attention from Lip’s seemingly endless questions. He was drowning in eyes so blue they put the sky to shame, that is until he registered the owner of said eyes, and he his heart stuttered to a complete stop, before starting up again beating a thousand times per minute. He felt his legs give way, but before he hit the floor, someone caught him.  
“Hey, Gallagher it’s alright. Can you look at me? Come on open them pretty green eyes and look at me.”   
Opening his eyes slowly, he took in the same blue eyes that got him into this mess and was shocked to see the softness staring back at him. Breathing in and out trying to match the directions Mickey was giving with actions. Ian was surprised when his breathing started to even out. The all too familiar feeling of something sitting on his chest and stopping him from breathing was fading.  
The next thing he knew Mickey was helping him stand up straight. Despite the slowness of the move he still found himself a little unsteady on his feet. The whole time Mickey never once looked away, and he found himself unable to look away either. After Mickey released him, Ian found himself thanking him, after he accepted Ian was drawn to the sound of Lip’s anger filled voice, and he realized that his brother was angrily shouting at Mickey.  
“I asked you to leave, asshole.”   
Trying to defuse the situation before it got out of hand, Ian tried to calm Lip down.  
“It’s ok, Lip. I’m alright he was just helping.” That seemed to make the situation worse though, and Lip became even more angry. 

“No, it’s not alright, Ian. He was just being an ass like usual.” Ian was starting to get a little pissed himself now. Why was it that Lip never listened to him when he talked? It was like he was so intent on taking over every aspect of Ian’s life that he seemed to lose sight of the fact that he was a big boy now. Days of him coming to Lip for help were long over, but the older boy refused to accept it.  
“Just let it go, Lip please,” Ian half begged his brother, seeing the plea was falling on deaf ears, he turned and started to walk away, shouting his goodbye over his shoulder.  
“I’m just going to go. Let you two finish working. Tell Fiona to answer her phone. I will see you later, Thanks again. Mickey.”  
He continued to walk away despite the raised voices behind him. He wasn’t sticking around to watch Lip continue to make an ass out of himself. Exiting the garage, he looked both ways before crossing the street to the little diner he sometimes met Lip for lunch. He needed a beer after everything that had just happened, but being that his meds didn’t mix well with alcohol, coffee was his new comfort drink.  
No sooner had he settled into an empty booth in the corner, the waitress appeared beside him. He gave her his order and sat back to wait.   
“Is it alright if I sit here?” Startled Ian looked up to find none other than Mickey Milkovich standing in front of him. Unable to speak past the shock he was feeling, he nodded, motioning to the seat in front of him. He couldn’t stop staring, and he noticed there was a red mark on the other man's face.  
“What happened to your face?” He had a feeling he knew what had happened, but decided to ask anyway.  
“It was nothing, man, You should see the other guy.” The joke fell flat though, and Ian was well aware that Mickey could take care of himself. Lip on the other hand, while hotheaded, had a tendency of biting off more than he can chew.  
“It was Lip wasn’t it?”  
“Don’t worry about it, man. My oldman hits harder than he does.”  
Ian flinched and he could feel the color draining from his face. He knew all too well how hard Terry hit. The reminder wasn’t really necessary. His body still bared scars from the encounter.  
“Look my dad is a homophobic asshole that needs to die a tragic death, but unfortunately he is like a cat, fucker has nine lives. There’s nothing I can say to make things better for you, but I can apologize for all the hell he put you through.”  
He really wanted to leave, no way was he ready to talk to Mickey about what had happened. It wasn’t something he talked about with anyone really. Just his therapist and that was only because he had to. Lip and Fiona had tried in the beginning, and even now years later he had never told them. He wasn’t ready to put himself through that. He didn’t know if he ever would be despite what his therapist thought.  
“I wasn’t there. That night, I wasn’t there. I want you to know that. I know I wasn’t very nice to you the last time I saw you, but I had no part in what Terry did to you.”  
“I know that too.“ Seeing the questioning look Mickey sent him, he continued, “I didn’t hear you there. There were only three voices, and none of them were yours.”  
He watched Mickey as he took in what he told him, the expressions on his face coming and going so fast, he couldn’t keep track of them. This whole situation was surreal, here he was sitting in a diner with Mickey Milkovich, and he hadn’t run yet. Despite wanting to, he was trying hard to remain seated, and succeeding. Progress, just like the doctor said, he felt strangely proud of himself.  
When the waitress came to take their order, Ian surprised himself by actually ordering. The table fell silent, the soft sounds of the people around them the only noise. Ian was in no hurry to break it though. He had no idea what to say, rr if he even wanted to say anything. despite his outward appearance, he was freaking out on the inside. He could feel the sweat rolling down his back, and he was tempted to sit on his hands so Mickey wouldn’t notice they were shaking.  
His mind was going a million miles per hour, why was Mickey even talking to him? Why did he help him earlier, and the most disturbing thought was why did he make it a point in telling him he wasn’t there the night he was attacked. It was troubling, and he was getting more and more anxious as time went on.  
Sensing that Mickey was staring at him, Ian gave him a weak half smile, knowing if he opened his mouth to talk, he would probably throw up. The arrival of their food was a relief, he didn’t know how he was going to eat it, but he was determined to try.

Ian unlocked his door and walked slowly over to the counter to and laid his keys down. This was a day from hell, and all he wanted to do was fall into bed and forget it ever happened. Pills first, though, God forbid if he forgot, the results wouldn’t be good. Skipping even one dose knocked his system out of whack. It would be days before he felt right again. He ached though, all over and he knew that tomorrow he would have to force himself out of bed. He had his last final, there was no way he could afford to miss it.  
Taking the required meds, he walked into his bedroom and flopped down on the bed, not even bothering to undress. He really should call Clayton to see how the meeting with Carl went, but he just didn’t have the energy to do it right now. He will have to call him in the morning, for now he hoped he would sleep without the nightmares that always managed to creep in every night or so.

The next morning Ian found that getting out of bed was not any easier than he had thought it would be. He felt tired even though he slept the night through. He ached all over, he knew he had to get up and call his doctor for yet another tweak to the meds that kept him functioning. It was complete bullshit. He does everything that he is supposed to do, and still this shit happens.  
He sat up, groaning at the pain the movement caused him. He knew this was coming. Didn’t make it any easier to deal with though.  
The ringing of his phone momentarily drew his attention away from his pity party. Seeing Clayton’s name on the id he answered.  
“Hello.” Ian winced, even his voice sounded tired, which Clayton will hear and he will insist on driving him to his appointment, and he will gladly accept the offer. Driving was not a good idea at the moment.  
“Ian, is everything alright?” The question came as no surprise, and he really needed to hear what happened yesterday, then they could concentrate on him and his fucked up mind.  
“Just the usual. Did you see Carl yesterday? How is he doing? Do you think you can get him out of this?”  
“Ian, Ian slow down, son. One question at a time. Yes, I was able to meet with him and he is doing as well as can be expected considering where he is. I will go through everything I can with you, however I need to know what is going on with you first.”  
“Just tired. Low. Not as bad as it could be though. Going to call and get an appointment.”’  
“Alright. Let me call the office and tell them to reschedule all my appointments for the day. I have no court cases so that won’t pose a problem. Let me know when you’re ready to leave.”  
Ian agreed before hanging up and calling the doctor. The phone call was short, Lisa was able to fit him in at noon. Looking at the time he had about two hours before he had to be there. He got out of bed and slowly made his way into the bathroom to get ready.

The appointment went t how Ian thought it would. A slight tweak of his meds, discussed the time it will take to adjust to it, and he will be back to normal. Well, as normal as he can be anyway. The ride back from the doctor was filled with Clayton telling him about his meeting with Carl. The DA was willing to make a deal with Carl, he could come out of this with as little as two years in jail and five years of parole. The only catch was he had to testify, tell everything he knew about the operation his buddies were doing. Seems they have been trying to get these guys for awhile now, and they always managed to slip through their fingers.  
Carl was proving to be stubborn though, refusing to give them anything. It was pissing Ian off, fuck South Side rules, Carl needed to do whatever it takes to ensure he didn’t get fifteen to twenty out of this. How could he be so fuckin stupid, getting mixed up with them was bad enough now he was going to cover for them too.  
“There’s nothing else you can do?” Ian asked Clayton, knowing the answer before he even said anything.  
“No, Ian. If Carl refuses to cooperate then they will charge him with the same charges as the others. And unfortunately it's not looking good for Detective Ross either. His family is being urged to pull life support. “  
“Fuck! Is there anyway you can get me in to see him? Maybe he will listen to me.”  
“No one is allowed to be in the room with us Ian. Not even the guards. Visitation however is Saturday, you should be able to see him then. He seemed pretty adamant on not testifying though.”  
“Ya, that’s Carl for you. Stubborn to the point of being stupid. What am I supposed to tell Fiona and Lip? They are gonna shit bullets.”  
“Just tell them the truth and leave it at that.”   
Telling them the truth wasn’t the problem, the problem was they never listen to him. They hear what they wanna hear then they draw their own conclusions, and god help anyone who stands in their way. He can hear it all now. Somehow they will make this into his fault. Clayton wasn’t trying hard enough or if he was where he belonged, maybe Carl wouldn’t be in this predicament. Like that would have made any difference at all, but it always came back to that. No matter what the situation may be. Instead of concentrating on convincing Carl to testify, they will playi the blame game.  
“Thanks, for doing this.” Clayton looked over at him, smiling slightly.  
“No need to keep thanking me, Ian. I’m just happy you are letting me be a part of your life.”  
The comment made Ian blush, he hasn’t done that in years.  
“Yeah, well it’s kind of a two way street right? You're letting me be a part of yours too.”   
“Ian, there is something you’re not understanding here. The day you and Lip showed up, I was shocked to discover that my affair with Monica produced a child. And in my shock I shamefully let Lucy talk me into not letting your existence affect my life, our life in any way. But the guilt of doing so caused resentment towards Lucy and her part in it all, until I couldn’t take it anymore. The night that Lip called was the quencher though. When he told me that you had almost died, all I could think was, what if he had? What if my son had died and I never got to be a part of his life. So it’s me that is thankful, for everyday that you let me take part in.”  
No one had ever said anything like that to him before, and it touched him in places he didn’t know about. To have someone care about him and yet expect nothing in return? That was a whole new feeling. Frank always pretended to care when it benefited him and Monica - she cared for the whole two minutes she was around. His siblings, they cared too, but it was different, they had to band together to survive.   
Not knowing what to say, Ian smiled, and turned to watch the scenery pass by.


	11. Mickey

CHAPTER ELEVEN

It’s been two days since Mickey had seen and talked to the redheaded Gallagher and he has not been able to quit thinking about him. It wasn’t something he was used to, bang them then forget them, it was a motto that had always worked for Mickey in the past. But something told him if he ever got the opportunity to get the redhead in his bed, he wouldn’t be forgetting him at all. Which was unfortunate because he doesn’t foresee the opportunity arising anytime in the near future.  
He couldn’t ask Lip for Ian’s number, he can’t see that going well at all. He would just have to get creative. Never let it be said that Mickey Milkovich let anything stand in the way of what he wants. The only possible thing that could stop him was Ian himself. But he would wear him down eventually. Patience wasn’t something he was known for, but he had a feeling Ian would be worth it. Terry couldn’t put the stops to it either since the fucker was locked away, so no need to worry about him finding out, at least not for awhile, he got ten years this time, he hoped someone offed the son of a bitch. It would solve so many problems.  
It being the weekend though meant that he had plenty of time to come up with a plan. He knew Gallagher had been to the restaurant Mandy works at, but he didn’t know if it was a one time deal or if he was a frequent customer there, but the only time Mandy had been working. He knows for a fact that it wasn’t a regular occurance for the redhead to come to his place of work though, hich sucked because that would make this whole thing so much easier.  
He knew nothing about the redhead, and it was infuriating. Did he work? And if so where? He never saw him around the neighborhood either. How can one meeting change his life so drastically? It wasn’t like him at all and it was starting to piss him off.  
He needed to get out of this apartment for a little while, maybe get a drink and play some pool. 

The Alibi was dead this time of day, well except for the local losers who seemed to live here. Walking over to the bar, he waited for Kevin to notice him. The older man always reminded Mickey of a giant kid who never grew up. He was always laughing at something or other, and he was hopelessly gone for his ghetto wife V. And for being a foster kid raised in the South Side, he was amazingly naive.   
People took advantage of him all the time, Terry being one of the ones to do it, followed closely by the drunk who was currently running his mouth about something no one was even the slightest interested in. Frank Gallagher, huh, that just might be the in he was looking for. He decided to tune in to what he was blathering on about.  
“I’m telling you, the justice system sucks. Take my boy for instance, in jail for trying to make an honest living. It wasn’t his fault that the pigs decided to show up and one of them got shot.” 

“No, it was the cops fault for doing their jobs. Jesus, Frank do you ever think before opening your mouth.”   
“Hey, that's enough. Carl’s a good kid. He just made some bad decisions, Kermit. We all are guilty of that.”   
Kevin sat a beer down in front of him, surprising the hell out of him.  
He nodded his thanks, and continued to listen to what was being said.  
“I hope the kid has a good lawyer, he is going to need it.”   
“Lip said Ian was going to talk to Clayton about it.”   
At the mention of the redheads name, Mickey listened more closely, he had forgotten that Kevin and the Gallaghers were friends.  
“Ah, yes my dear brother who screwed my wife and left me to raise his bastard child. It’s about time he did something to repay me for all that I sacrificed to keep that little prick fed.”  
“Shut the fuck up, Frank. Everyone here knows just how much you didn’t do for Ian or any of those kids. Fiona is the one who raised those kids. You were too busy getting drunk.”   
“Be that as it may, he still lived in my house.”  
“Not your house, Frank. Why am I even bothering to argue with you?”   
Mickey stopped himself from laughing, not wanting to draw their attention to him.   
“Isn’t he living over on the North Side now?”  
That explains the whole not seeing him around anymore, he got out. Probably living it up on Daddy’s buck. Can’t blame him, if he was in that situation he would’ve done the same thing. Makes things a lot harder though.  
“Yeah, he still comes around though.“  
“Only to rub our faces in his new found wealth. He couldn’t even spare a few bucks for the man who raised him.”  
“Give it a rest, Frank. Ian has been through hell, he got out. And he is better for it.”  
Mickey didn’t like hearing about what the redhead had been through. If the panic attack was anything to go by, it was bad, he didn’t need to hear the details. Veronica’s arrival put a temporary hold on the conversation. Allowing Mickey to get Kevin’s attention, he needed another beer. Taking a drink, he settled in to see what else was going to be revealed.  
“You mean he ran away, just like his mother, that boy. Takes his crazy after her.”  
“That’ll be about enough out of you, Frank. I just got here and you’re already getting on my nerves.”   
Mickey damn near gave himself whiplash, when he jerked his head to see none other than Lip and Ian Gallagher standing in the doorway.  
Seemed he didn’t have to go looking for the redhead, he seemed to keep showing up. He never dreamed he would get this lucky, but he wasn’t about to complain.

“The prodigal son has returned. What did we do to deserve the presence of your royal highness.”  
“Fuck you, Frank.”  
Mickey let out an involuntary laugh, it seems the carrot top had a little bit of a mouth on him. It was a turn on,then again everything about the younger man turned Mickey on.  
“Hey, is that any way to talk to your father?”   
“Not my father and I thank God everyday for that.”   
Mickey wanted to kiss him for the snark, it seems the boy hated Frank with a passion.

“Hey, hey look what the cat dragged in. My favorite Gallagher.” Watching as V came out from behind the bar to wrap the redhead up in a tight hug, he couldn’t help but get a little bit jealous.   
“What about me?”   
“Oh hush up, hun. I see you everyday. This one here hardly comes around anymore.”  
“Not true, V. I just saw you last week.“   
Deciding it was time to play a game of pool, Mickey walked casually over to the table, calling out a challenge to the asshole he worked with.  
“Hey, Gallagher want to see if you can beat me at a game?” Both Gallagher brothers looked in his direction, and Lip’s reaction was the usual snarky comment. While the gingers eyes widened in shock, he didn’t look like he was going to run back out the door though. So he would count that as a win, and if he was really lucky maybe he would talk to him too.  
He set up the balls and motioned for Lip to break. He watched as he sent the cue ball flying, sinking two solids. Keeping one eye on the table the other on the redhead whose attention was being taken by Veronica, whatever they were talking about caused the Gallagher to giggle, the bastard just giggled. It was annoyingly adorable, what in the hell was wrong with him? He never found anything adorable in his life.  
”You going to take your turn or are you too busy staring at my brother?”   
“I don’t know what in the fuck you are talking about, I’m not staring at anyone.”  
The asshole had the nerve to laugh, and it pissed him off.  
“Keep telling yourself that. He’s not interested alright?”   
Mickey didn’t know what this asshole was hinting at, but it was time to put him in his place.  
“Are you calling me a fag?”   
“I’m not calling you anything. I don’t care who you bang, just keep away from my little brother and we won’t have a problem.”  
This asshole was asking for a beatdown. His condescending attitude was really rubbing him the wrong way.  
“Listen asshole, I am not gay, for one thing. And second I will talk to anyone I want, and if you have a problem with that we can take this outside.”  
“You, listen up, shithead. I know that being a Milkovich makes you think you can do anything you want, but if you have a decent bone in your body, you will leave Ian alone.”  
Mickey was shocked, Gallagher’s voice was taking on a pleading tone, he was almost begging him to leave the redhead alone. Unfortunately for him that was never going to happen, at this point he doesn’t think he could. The ginger had gotten under his skin, and as much as he hated the weakness, he couldn’t fight it.  
“I’m not going to hurt him.” As much as it pained him to explain himself to the elder Gallagher, he can respect where he was coming from. He was just looking out for his brother. He would do the same for Mandy.  
They were so intent on browbeating each other that they failed to notice the arrival of the very person they were talking about.  
“Lip, Kev bought you a drink.” Lip accepted the drink with a pinched grin. Ian was starting to look a little apprehensive the longer they stood there not saying anything.  
“Hey, “ Mickey said, watching the redhead closely, trying to determine if his presence made him uncomfortable, while he looked unsure he didn’t look like he was going to start hyperventilating anytime soon.  
“Hey.” The response was soft and Mickey had to strain to hear it, but he heard him.  
“You play, man?” Mickey wanted so badly to draw the younger man into a conversation he could almost taste it.  
“Not lately. But I know how, probably a little rusty though.”   
A whole sentence, he actually got a whole sentence for once.The elation he felt was embarrassing.  
“Don’t worry about it, man. You got the winner alright?”   
Even more determined to win than before, Mickey took his turn, sinking two balls with one move. 

The night was going good despite the presence of the older Gallagher. Mickey was feeling pleasantly buzzed from the couple shots he had drunk. Lip was on his way to being plastered, while Ian still seemed to be nursing the same beer he had since he got there. Either he wasn’t much of a drinker or he wasn’t in the mood to get drunk, either way he was glad he was there.  
“That is win number three, Red. Guess you weren't kidding when you said you were rusty.”  
“Haven’t been playing much. Don’t have the time.”  
“You mean you refuse to go anywhere there’s a pool table?” ( who says this?) The comment was met with silence, which was starting to get uncomfortable, when Ian seemed to find his voice.

“Not true. I go out, just with school I don’t have the time to make it a common occurrence.”  
Mickey didn’t like the defensive response that was the result of Lip’s dig. Seemed the guy wasn’t just an asshole to him, it turns out he is just an ass.

“You mean you go out to all those yuppy bars on the Northside,.because you damn sure don’t hang out here anymore.”

The look on the ginger’s face was heart wrenching, and Mickey wanted to lay the douche responsible for putting it there flat on his arrogant ass.  
“Fuck you, Lip. You know I come here as often as I can.”   
“Bullshit you do. When was the last time you were even at the house? The only reason you're here right now is because I didn’t give you a choice.”  
“Why are you being such an dick, huh? You wonder why I never want to hang out. This is why, you turn every situation into an argument.”  
Mickey felt the tension surrounding the two mounting, knew it was only a matter of time before punches were thrown. He glanced towards the bar wondering if one of the two standing there was going to step in, both were watching with concerned look on their faces. He has a feeling this had been brewing for awhile and it was heading toward the breaking point. He watched them carefully and won’t step in unless he has to.  
“I’m not the one who turned his back on the people who supported him, am I? That was all you, poor little Ian couldn’t handle the way his life was, so he left everything and everyone who cared about him behind. Carl is in jail because of you!”’

Mickey watched as all the color seemed to drain from the redhead’s face, and Lip seemed to have realized what he said. He took a hesitant step towards the redhead, regret filling his face.   
“Ian, I didn’t-”

Mickey watched helplessly as the redhead pushed passed them and ran out the door.   
“Fuck!”   
“That was harsh, Lip. Ian isn’t responsible for Carl’s actions, and you know why he moved.”V defended.Mickey didn’t stick around to hear the assholes' response, he intended on finding the ginger and making sure he was alright, but when he got outside there was no redhead in sight.


	12. Ian

CHAPTER TWELVE

The whole way home, Ian couldn’t get Lip’s accusations out of his mind. They kept playing over and over again, causing him to doubt every decision he had made the last year. Even though he knew he had made the right choice in moving, Lip made him question it. The asshole knew how to hit just where it hurt the most too.  
Did he honestly think Ian hadn’t tried? That he hadn’t done everything he could to pull himself together? Did he honestly not understand that just being in the same vicinity of Terry was torture, knowing that at anytime the asshole could find him and finish the job he had started? He lives with the reminders everyday. The scars on his back, and not being able to hear out of his left ear, all constant reminders of the night he prayed for death. It was slowly driving him insane, and he knew he had to leave before he did something stupid. Many nights he had laid awake after nightmares had plagued his sleep and seriously thought of flushing his meds,etting the mania take away the fear and helplessness.  
One night not long after moving, he woke up from yet another nightmare and decided to take a walk. He remembered walking across the bridge seriously contemplating jumping when he heard the squeal of tires and the sound of crunching glass. That night, saving the woman from the burning wreck that had been her car, he knew he wanted to live. It had given him a reason to push ahead. The following day he made the appointment with the doctor Clayton had recommended, then enrolled in classes to be an EMT. Terry may have taken away his dreams of the Army, but he could still do something with his life. He could help other people keep theres. It wasn’t the life he dreamed of, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t make the best of it.   
Fuck Lip for shitting on that, he has no idea how long it has taken him to get this far, ow hard it has been . Why can’t he see that? As far as Carl is concerned, he doesn’t know where that even came from. How could it be his fault that Carl was in jail? How did his moving effect Carl’s decision to sell drugs? Blaming him for Carl's actions was unfair and not true at all. His phone ringing brought Ian back to the present with a jolt, seeing Lip’s name he ignored it, he wasn’t quite ready to play the let’s forgive Lip for being an ass game yet.  
He pulled in beside Clayton’s car and turned his off.He needed sleep, he would think about everything else tomorrow.

The next day started out like any other Saturday, he got up, took a shower, swallowed down his meds, and got ready to go for his morning jog. Having a routine was essential to keeping his bipolar in check, and he tried to stick to his schedule as much as possible. Today was visitation at the jail and he wanted to get there as soon as he could. He needed to see for himself that Carl was ok, and try to talk him into taking the plea that Clayton had gotten for him. He didn’t hold onto false hope though, Carl was stubborn, and Gallagher’s don’t snitch.There are exceptions to that rule though, and this counted as one, he ignored his inner voice that told him that he didn’t have room to talk.   
His was a completely different situation, he wasn’t facing a long term stay on the state’s dime. Opening the door he headed out, while putting in his headphones. He lost himself in the rhythm of his feet hitting the asphalt, he concentrated on clearing his mind. This was his time to just be.

The prison loomed in front of him like a big giant blinker, his little brother was inside those walls, surrounded by rapists and murderers, it was a hard prospect to swallow. Carl was never afraid of anything, but he had to be terrified right now, who wouldn't be. How could he want to stay there? Why wasn’t he doing everything to make sure his stay was as short a stay as it could be? Walking through the steel fence surrounding the prison, Ian felt as if the walls were closing in on him, he drew in a deep breath and pushed on, now wasn’t the time to dwell on his own discomfort, this was about Carl.  
“State your name and that of the inmate you’re here to see.” The monotone voice of the guard broke the silence.  
“Ian Gallagher to see Carl Gallagher.”   
The guard checked the computer in front of him and stood up.  
“Follow me, please. Empty all of your pockets into the box in front of you and step through the scanner.”  
Ian did as he was told, putting his cell phone some loose change, keys, and wallet into the box and stepped through the scanner. Once he was through he was told to stand by the door and wait for the buzzer to let him into the next room. The buzzer sounded, scaring the shit out of Ian and he followed the group of people standing with him into a room filled with chairs and glass walls separated by dividers with phones hanging on them.He had never been inside of a jail or prison before so this was all new to him. He sat down and waited for his brother to appear.  
He had a black eye, that was the first thing Ian noticed followed closely by the split lip. Carl looked like hell. Clayton never said anything about Carl being hurt so he’s assuming it just happened recently. It strengthened his resolve to make Carl see reason.  
“Hey, man what’s up?” Carl said.  
Ian had promised himself he would be patient and not jump down Carl's throat, but the nonchalant way Carl greeted him threw his good intentions out the proverbial window.  
“What’s up? You’re asking me what’s up. Jesus Christ, Carl what were you thinking?”

Carl’s look shouted ‘back the fuck off’, but Ian was never any good at backing down.  
“Hey it wasn’t my fault that the pigs were casing the place.”   
Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing, there was no remorse in Carl’s voice and that just pissed him off more.  
“It’s your fault that you were there in the first place. No amount of money is worth sitting where you are sitting,Carl.”  
For the first time Ian saw a crack in Carl’s armour. For just a minute he saw the face of his scared little brother sitting there. Before it was gone and replaced by a look of indifference.   
“Ya,well not all of us have a Daddy Warbucks to fall back on.”   
The comment was cruel and he felt the hit like a blow to the stomach. Carl knew how to hit below the belt when cornered, but Ian had never been on the receiving end of it. It hurt, but Ian soldiered on.  
“Maybe not, but it doesn’t change the fact that what you did was stupid. Clayton said you refused the deal he was able to work out for you.”  
Carl looked away,refusing to meet Ian’s eyes.“Gallagher’s don’t snitch, man. Besides there’s nothing to tell.”  
Ian rolled his eyes, so tired of hearing the things that Gallaghers do and don’t do. The hell he has gone through the last few years has made him rethink a lot of the things Fiona had told them over the years. Like the whole Gallagher’s don’t do therapy. Well therapy was what kept him from offing himself a million times in the past. So what’s wrong with breaking another rule?  
“Listen to me for a minute, Carl. Please. If you don’t take this deal you’re going away for a long time. Not to juvie either, you're going to be tried as an adult.I know Clayton explained all this to before,but I’m going to tell you again. If that cop doesn’t make it, Carl - that’s accessory to murder. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life here?”  
Carl wasn’t looking at him, but Ian can tell he has his attention.   
“Talk to Clayton, take the deal. Please, Carl.” The ringing of the buzzer signaled the end of their visit. Ian talked faster. “Think about it. I love you.”   
Hanging up the phone, Ian stayed in his chair watching as the guard led Carl from the room, the tears in his eyes blurred the image. Carl looked so small next to all the other inmates, and those injuries Carl was sporting meant the business end of someone’s fist, and there was nothing Ian could do to help him. He made his way out of the room hoping Carl at least considered what he told him, but not willing to hold his breath on it. He needed to see about getting Carl some money, then home. 

Ian awoke to the ringing of his phone, he let out a groan and rolled and grabbed it off the stand, squinting at the screen. He ran a hand tiredly over his face. Lip, he had been avoiding his calls since Friday, not wanting to listen to the bullshit apologies. Lip was always good at making excuses for his drunken comments, but they had gotten old. Drawing in a deep breath he answered.  
“What?”  
“Is that anyway to answer the phone?” Ian ignored the question by asking one of his own.  
“What do you want, Lip?”  
“Alright be that way. Did you see Carl?”  
“Yes.” He wasn’t in the mood for twenty questions. He hadn’t gotten much sleep, between worrying about Carl and his regularly scheduled nightmares, to say he was tired was an understatement.  
“And? What did he say?”  
“If you had gone like you were supposed to you would have known what he said.” Lip’s not showing up didn’t shock Ian, the older man had probably been nursing a hangover from hell, hich has become a real problem with Lip lately. He was drunk more than he was sober these days, Ian was starting to see traces of Frank more and more. He had even brought the subject up to Fiona one day, but she had blown it off, so Ian never mentioned it again.  
“Look, Ian I'm sorry for the other night. Now can we please move on and tell me how things went with Carl?” asked Lip.  
“He insists he doesn’t know anything and is standing by the whole ‘Gallaghers don’t snitch’ excuse. I told him to think about taking the deal.”   
“That’s it? That’s all you talked about?”   
“Look, Lip it wasn’t like we had hours to talk. I did what I could. It's up to Carl now. Is that all you wanted to talk about? I have a full day and really need to get started.”  
They said their goodbyes and hung up. Ian wasn’t lying when he told Lip he had a lot to do. His finals were tomorrow and he had to study, go grocery shopping for the week, and he had a job interview. Rita was really happy with his summer ride along and he had a feeling this was just a formality.

Ian had received a text message from Clayton earlier in the day asking him to meet and now he was waiting for him to show. The text hadn’t been helpful in settling the butterflies in his stomach. The message had just said to meet him and that it was about Carl’s case. Now that could mean only two things, either Carl refused to cooperate and the trial date had been set, or he agreed to cooperate and the trial date had been set. Both reasons were causing his anxiety levels to rise. With everything going on it didn’t dawn on Ian until he walked through the door that it was the same place Mandy worked, much to his relief though she didn’t seem to be there.  
Clayton’s arrival was announced by his sudden appearance in front of him, his expression gave nothing away though, and Ian’s already shaky nerves skyrocketed.The older man must have sensed this because he smiled at Ian in reassurance.

“So I ment with Carl today, looks like whatever you said must have worked. He decided to accept the DA’S deal. Not a moment too soon either, the detective passed late last night. Charges have gone from attempted murder to manslaughter.”  
“What does that mean for Carl?” Ian asked. Sure he felt bad for the detective’s passing, but his need to know about Carl outweighed it by a mile.  
“He’s going to serve some time, there is no getting out of that, but not as much as he would without his testimony. These guys have been on their radar for quite awhile, but managed to slip through with little to no charges. They’ve yet to have any proof, but with Carl they have all the evidence they need. That is what is going to help him, that and the fact that this is his first offense. I’m not going to lie to you, Ian. He will serve at least five years, but it is better than what it could have been.”  
“Five years?” The thought of Carl being in that place for that long made Ian’s stomach churn.  
“He could get out in three on good behaviour. It’s the best the DA could do.”  
Ian nodded, mind going a million miles a minute, Carl was still going to do time but not as much.It still didn’t sit well with him though.

A few days later Ian was getting the rig ready for his shift, he loved everything about what he was doing. It was just what he needed to keep his mind off all of the things in his life he couldn’t control. When he was on a job, his focus was on getting his patients stable and to the hospital, he didn’t have time to dwell on anything else.It helped too that he got along well with his partner, Sue. Seh was great, a no nonsense kind of girl, he loved the way she seemed to be able to take whatever situation they were in in stride, she knew he was bipolar too, knew what to look for, she kept an eye on him, but didn’t act like he was going to freak out at the first sign of trouble, it was refreshing.Three days on and he was never so happy about a job.  
“Gallagher, we gotta roll, accident in a garage over on second street.”  
Ian froze, before quickly jumping in the driver's seat. The only garage over on second was the one Lip worked at,he ignored the little voice that was telling him that Mickey worked there too. He turned on the lights and set out at a brisk but safe speed.  
Pulling up outside the garage, Ian grabbed his bag before jumping out and heading inside, Sue following closely at his heels.They walked in and instantly Ian searched the immediate area looking for whoever was hurt.  
:”Hey ,Ian over here.” At the sound of Lip’s voice he let out a relieved breath he didn’t even realize he was holding, and followed his brother. The cursing was the first give away as to who their patient was, followed closely by the sight of Mickey sitting in a chair favoring his left arm.  
“I told you I didn’t need a fuckin ambulance. I know how to drive myself to the ER, thank you very much.”  
“And I told you that isn’t how we do things here. You get hurt on the job, we make sure you get the help you need.” Bob, the owner, sounded just as pissed as Mickey did.  
“What seems to be the problem?” Sue asked, as Ian set about taking Mickey’s vitals. The older man’s protest had died at the sight of Ian. He sat quietly as Ian looked him over.  
“Dip shit here thought it was a good idea to stop a car from falling off a jack by trying to hold it up, and in the process he dislocated his shoulder.”  
“Fuck you, Phillip, that wasn’t what happened and you know it.” Ian shook his head, grinning at the never ending bickering that the two of them were constantly doing. Trying and failing to ignore how touching Mickey made his hands tingle. It had come to his attention the night they played pool, just how attractive the older man was. He knew it was hopeless, first, Mickey was a Milkovich, whose father would finish the job he started if he found out Ian was lusting after his son. Second, there was no way Mickey was gay, the thug’s posture just screamed hetrosexual, so there was no way Ian was going down that particular road.  
Despite the protests that Mickey made when they had gotten there, he seemed to figure he was fighting a losing battle and let Sue and Ian load him into the back of the rig with no protests. Letting Sue take the wheel Ian jumped in the back with Mickey to monitor him until they got to the ER.  
“So you're all official now?” Mickey asked, startling Ian. He looked up at Mickey and smiled.   
“For a few days now.” Ian couldn't get over how blue Mickey’s eyes were. He just wanted to let himself drown in them. It was hard to believe that just months ago Ian wouldn’t have been able to be in the same vicinity as the older man without having a panic attack. Mickey and his persistence in going out of his way to make Ian feel comfortable had helped the process along. Sometimes he caught himself wondering why he did it. Why did he go out of his way to be nice to him?  
“So what’s the damage then doc?”   
“Not a doctor, Mickey, but I think it’s safe to say you’ll live. be sore as hell for a few days, but you’ll live.” Mickey laughed, and Ian suppressed a shiver, willing Sue to drive faster,what was he thinking when he told Sue to drive? He had to be a glutton for punishment.  
“So when do you get off?” Ian told himself to behave there was no way Mickey meant that in the way his mind just took a nosedive into the gutter.  
“About three.”   
“You busy after work?” Ian’s heart raced, was Mickey asking him out on a date? Not possible he wasn’t gay. He just asked to be polite, he ignored the voice telling him that Mickey Milkovich didn’t do polite.  
“No. I was going to just go home and watch some tv.”  
“Ever watch The Walking Dead?”   
“No. Can’t say that I have,” Ian responded. He had heard of the show of course, Carl and Debbie raved about it all the time. He never had the time to.  
“Gallagher, have you been hiding under a rock. That’s it, you’re coming to my house and remedying that situation. Tonight at six, give me your phone number and I’ll text you my address.”  
Ian told Mickey his number and heard the phone in his pocket go off a short time after. Unable to stop the grin from coming, he didn’t know what just happened here ,but he was strangely willing to find out.


	13. Mickey

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Mickey was nervous, it wasn’t a feeling he was familiar with, but that didn’t change the fact that he was. He still couldn’t believe that he had actually asked Ian over to his house, but what was even more unbelievable was that the redhead had accepted. He had stopped by the store on his way home from the hospital, turns out his shoulder was badly bruised, so while it was painful, it wasn’t that big of a deal. He had worse after a run in with Terry, so he stopped by the store to grab the essentials, beer and pizza rolls. Then he came home and told Mandy to scram for the night, she wasn’t too happy about it but she left after Mickey reminded her about the weekend a few weeks back that he had made himself scarce for the whole weekend.

Checking the clock for the twentieth time in just as many minutes, Mickey wanted to throw it across the room, fuckin five o fuckin clock,why was time dragging by so slowly? Then again he was nervous for it to start. His damn emotions were all over the place, and it was all due to a certain redhead, whom he hadn’t even thought about in years, let alone ever sat down to actually get to know him, that came crashing back into his life. Bringing with him a host of emotions that Mickey had never felt before, let alone dealt with.

He had always suspected something was wrong with him, while his brothers were out getting laid by women, Mickey was still grossed out by his hellish experience on his fourteenth birthday. Sure he played the part, he didn’t want Terry to suspect anything, he went on his share of fag bashing beatdowns with his dad, bragged about fucking girls when the thoughts of even seeing one naked made him want to puke. He strived to make Terry proud, but inside he was terrified that Terry could sense he was a fraud. He would sneak down to Boystown every once in awhile, get a blowie in the back alley, or a quick hard fuck in the stall of a bathroom, but that was as far as he ever got into being with guys. And yet here he was inviting over the very person that his dad had beat and left to bleed to death in an alley, hoping to see what it was about Ian Gallagher that sent his pulse into overdrive, and made him pop a chub like no one else has before.

There was a knock at the door and Mickey knew who it was without looking, knew by the way his heart started pounding like it wanted to beat out of his chest. Walking over to the door, he opened it and invited the redhead in. “Here goes nothing,” he thought as he closed the door behind them.  
“Come in, man. Want a drink? I got beer and soda,” Mickey offered making his way into the kitchen .  
“Soda’s good, thanks.”  
“Hey grab a seat, I’ll put on some pizza rolls then we’ll get you started watching the best zombie series there is.”

Ian laughed,sat down on the couch and accepted the can of soda Mickey gave him, watching as the older man pressed play on the remote.

“Holy shit. Did you see that, he cut off his own hand, Mick!”

Mickey laughed, he had been busy watching Ian while he became engrossed in the Walking Dead,the more he got into it, the more animated he became. Ian relaxing and enjoying himself was a beautiful sight, his green eyes when they looked at him with astonishment were like two shining emeralds. Mickey found himself drowning in them.

“Ya, man, if it was a choice between a hand or getting eaten by a bunch of walkers. I know what I would choose,” Mickey said.

“Me too. But that shit had to hurt. Wonder where he went though. He couldn’t have gone far, he had to have been bleeding like hell.” The seriousness in the redhead’s voice almost made Mickey laugh, it seemed the ginger was really getting into the show. A fact of which he was counting on, the more into the show he got the more he relaxed. He needed to get to know him, and in order to do that , Ian had to realize that he was nothing like his old man, at least not anymore.

The evening wore on and much to Mickey’s delight Gallagher showed no signs of leaving. They talked, mostly about what was happening on the tv, but still they talked. It was more than Mickey had ever dreamed would happen at the beginning of the night. He found out that Debbie, who was the younger man’s sister, had been after him to watch the show for years, but he had never had the chance to. 

The only dark spot of the whole evening was that he knew Mandy would be home at some point, and her account of Gallagher’s reaction to seeing her, there was no way he would stick around for very long. He only wished there was some way he could bring her up without causing any kind of a bad reaction from the redhead. Yet there was no way he could avoid it, the later it got, the more likely she was to walk through the door.

“Hey,Gallagher.”  
Ian looked over, a questioning look on his suddenly leary face, this was what Mickey had wanted to avoid, “Gotta tell you something, man.”

He knew by the look on the other man's face that he had picked up on the sudden nervousness in his voice.

“Mandy will be home soon.” 

All the color drained from the younger man's face, Mickey cursed his inability to say things right, and soldiered on. “I just wanted to let you know that. Doesn’t mean you have to leave though. She won’t give a shit that you're here.”

“I-I didn’t know she lived with you.” 

It was the first time he ever heard the ginger stutter. Despite the nervousness he couldn’t seem to help displaying, he never heard it in his voice.

“Ya, red. We both wanted out, so we saved up and got this apartment together. Look it’s not that big of deal, she will come home and go straight to bed. Won’t even know she is here.” Mickey knew as he was saying it that it was a lie, there was no way Mandy would be ready for bed when she got home, and by the look on his face, Ian knew it too. Yet he made no move to get up to leave.

“She knew that I was coming over?” Ian asked.

The question threw him, he hadn’t expected Ian to be there for this long, so he hadn’t seen the need to let his sister know, besides the fact she would have probably refused on the grounds that she had been wanting to talk to the redhead herself.

“No,I didn’t see any reason to tell her, it’s my place too. She never tells me when she has people over.”

Ian nodded, not saying anything, he seemed to be too lost in thought. Mickey wished he knew what he was thinking about that had put that anxious look on his face. He seemed to come to some sort of a decision though.

“Your sure she won’t say anything about me being here?”

“Positive.” Mickey couldn’t keep the smile off his face, as the redhead went back to watching the tv, though he seemed more tense than he was before, he wasn’t leaving.

Mickey’s prediction proved right a little while later, Mandy burst through the door in her usual brash manner, causing the already tense redhead to tense up even more. Watching him closely, he took in the nervous movement of the thin fingers on Ian’s legs. His fingers seemed like a cat's paws as they kneaded on on a scratch post.

He wanted so badly to reach over and put his hand over Ian’s in reassurance, but he knew the action wouldn’t be well received.  
“Hey, fuckface, put your dick away, I’m home.” Mandy seemed to freeze when she noticed that Mickey wasn’t alone. She looked at him in surprise, and he hoped she could tell what he was saying by reading his face, because the bitch better watch what she says.

“Ian. Mickey never said you were coming over tonight.” Ian looked over at Mandy before quickly looking away again, the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ian looked ready to bolt. And Mandy, he looked closer at her trying to determine what could be going through her mind then, she looked like she too was ready to bolt, but he would bet his last beer it wasn’t for the same reasons.

“Can you believe Gallagher here has never watched the walking dead?” Mickey asked her, trying to break the tension.

The comment seemed to work, much to his relief, Mandy came over to sit on the chair opposite of him, asking what season they were on, and just like that, the tension - while not completely gone - wasn't as strong. 

The next morning Mickey was still reeling from how well the night before had gone, even with Mandy showing up. He had managed to convince Gallagher to come over the next weekend to watch some more. He hadn’t said no despite Mandy saying she would be there too. The two hadn’t really talked much, but they did talk. Mostly Mandy, but Ian had answered her. It was progress he guessed. He wasn’t about to push for more, he couldn’t risk pushing the ginger away.

“Hey, assface. Any coffee left or did you drink it all?” Wordlessly he handed Mandy a cup of the freshly brewed coffee,before he sat down on the chair in front of her.

“So how long have you been talking to Ian? And why didn’t you tell me?” Mandy asked.

Knowing the questions were coming didn’t mean Mickey was ready to answer them. Mandy knew he was gay, it wasn’t something they talked about, but she knew. She had found out completely by accident, she had walked him on him getting a blowie from a hookup on Grindr, she hadn’t said much. Other than bitch about doing it in the living room. The bitch wasn’t even supposed to come home that night, but her current fuck had decided not to show so she had come home. 

“Ran into him a few weeks ago, his asshole brother works with me,” Mickey answered, hoping that would satisfy her.

“How did that end up with him sitting on our couch last night?”  
Of course the nosy bitch couldn’t let things go. Her constant need to know everything really pisses him off.

“I told you he never watched The Walking Dead before, I invited him over and he came. End of story.”

Let the bitch stew, she didn’t need to know every little detail. She should be damn glad he told her that much.

“It’s weird though, he sees me and can’t get away from me fast enough, but you he talks to. Hung out with you even. You tried to beat his ass, and yet all is forgiven.”

“And why did I try to beat his ass, Mandy? Huh? I ain’t going to give you a play by play so you might as well give it up. Now if that’s all I want to get a shower, I got places to be today that don’t include nosy sisters.” Ignoring the wounded look on her face,Mickey went to do just that.

Mandy’s need to know everything wasn’t something that would normally bother him, but this thing with Ian was so fragile and new he didn’t want to risk messing it up. If Mandy even suspected he was interested in Gallagher she would meddle her nose in and fuck it all up. He shouldn’t have said what he did though, he knew she blamed herself for what happened to Gallagher, but damn she was as persistent as a dog with a bone.

The shower had gone a long way toward putting Mickey back into the good mood Mandy had ruined. He was happy to see that while he was showering she had not only done the few dishes in the sink, but also went into her room. He would have to apologize for the remark he made earlier, that is if she didn’t piss him off in the meantime. Dressing quickly he glanced at his phone sitting on his bed and wondered if it was too early to text the redhead? Or should he text him at all? He remembered the redhead vaguely saying that he had to work the night shift, so he might still be in bed. He was acting like a chick with her first crush and it was starting to get ridiculous. He couldn’t stop himself from doing it though. Sighing, he gave into the urge.

Mickey: Had fun last night. 

Yup, Mickey thought, officially a girl. Could he be anymore of a fag? Had fun last night, holy fuck. The sound of his phone had him reaching eagerly for it.

Ian: Me too. :)

OK now he didn’t feel so bad, Gallagher was more of a fag, he sent a smiley face for fucks sake. He laughed, a couple of fags they were. He put his phone in his pocket and headed toward the door, he wasn’t lying when he told Mandy he had things to do.


	14. Ian

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

So last night was an eye opener for Ian, he found out that he had made more progress than he had thought. Hanging out with Mickey was one thing, but to actually be able to stay in the same room with Mandy and not give in to the urge to runaway? That was different, sure he had wanted to leave the minute she walked through the door, no it was when Mickey had told him she lived there, if he was being entirely truthful with himself. He had stayed though, so that had to count as a win.

Sure he hadn’t said much to her, but then she hadn’t said much to him either, so did that count against him? He didn’t think so. Progress. It was slow, but it was happening. Was he ready to chat about the elephant in the room with them? That would be a big hell no, but it didn’t seem to be as impossible to think it may happen,someday.

What had him confused though was why Mickey had been going out of his way to spend time with him. Was it because of what Terry had done to him? He couldn’t see him going out and looking for all the gays Terry had beaten and or killed and apologizing. So why him? Why was he so special, it wasn’t like they had been friends, in fact they had never even spoken to each other before Mandy had sent him after him. He had avoided the Milkoviches at all costs up until then, knowing what they did to people like him, but when he had seen the boner the science teacher had, sticking it in Mandy’s face, he had to do something. It was an act he almost had not lived to regret. 

Someday soon, when he gets the nerve to, he would have to ask the older boy. 

Ian was bone tired, the night before had been a busy one, he had a close call with one of his patients. He was an older man, he had been complaining of chest pain so his wife had called 911. When they had gotten there, it was obvious he was having a heart attack, his face had been covered with sweat and ashen with pain. They had loaded him up after taking his vitals, and while en route to the hospital, the man had flatlined. Ian brought him back though. It was a great feeling, saving someone's life. Sue had sung his praises for the rest of the night, teasing him about how embarrassed he had felt.

He also remembered that he had to stop himself from texting Mickey, he wanted to share his excitement and the brunet was the first one to come to mind. He didn’t do it though, at first because it was so late and he was probably sleeping. Then because he wasn’t sure why he wanted to in the first place. So he restrained himself by texting Lip, he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t receive one in return. Lip was probably either passed out or banging Karen Jackson.

He didn’t know what Lip saw in her, she had sex with anyone who would have her up to and including Frank for fuck sake. He suppressed a shutter at the thought, he needed bleach for his brain to erase the image that particular memory had given him. He still can’t believe Karen had recorded the whole thing and posted it online. He really thought Lip was going to kill Frank then, but the drunk was like a cockroach, hard to kill or get rid of. He would have to remember to put antibiotics in Lip’s toothpaste again. He didn’t know if it would work, but it was worth a shot. Fuck he was so tired, he needed to get some sleep. Falling back on his bed, he let sleep overcome him.

When Ian opened his eyes again, he was surprised to see that it was dark outside, he had slept all day. Without one single nightmare, he hadn’t felt this refreshed in months. Sitting up he reached for his phone and smiled, Mickey had texted him again. He quickly opened it up to see what the older man wanted, and gave an involuntary laugh at what he saw. Mickey had sent a picture of Frank passed out on a barstool in what looked like the Alibi. 

Someone, probably Mickey, had drawn dicks all over his face. The caption below it however is what really set him off. ”Warning: Dicks are closer than they appear.” Laughing he sent off his reply.

Ian: No truer words were ever said. Love the artwork by the way.

The reply was almost instant, like he had been waiting for him to answer.

Mickey: Thanks, I thought it was fitting. What r u up 2?

Ian: Just woke up. Had to work last night, remember?

Mickey: Jesus,Gallagher it’s almost 9. U slept the day away.

Surprised, Ian checked the time and sure enough it was almost nine at night. He slept for over ten hours, no wonder he felt so good.

Ian: Guess I was really tired.

Mickey: No shit. If sleeping beauty is so well rested, maybe you can drag ur ass down to the Alibi, so I can kick it at pool again.

Ignoring the giddy feeling he got when he read Mickey’s half ass compliment, knowing he didn’t mean it the way he half wished he did. Ian texted him back.

Ian: U wish. See u in twenty.

Throwing his phone on the bed, Ian went to find something to wear, telling himself that this was not a date, despite the fact that he was sort of wishing it were. What in the hell was going on with him? He knew there was no way Mickey was gay, besides even if he were, there was no way he would openly flaunt it, not with Terry being his dad. That thought alone should stop this little crush he seemed to be developing on the older man. Too bad it didn’t seem to be working.

The Alibi was empty, except for the usual riff raff, minus Frank, thank God. He will probably stumble in later though. He spotted Mickey over by the pool table, he was warming up by the looks of it. Before he knew it, he was walking toward the table, shouting out his hello to Kevin on his way.

“Won’t do you a bit of good,” Ian laughed when Mickey jumped at his sudden appearance.

“Fuck you. Good? What the fuck are you going on about, Freckles?”

Ian laughed at Mickey’s seemingly endless nicknames for him. Then he gestured towards the table.

“Practicing. I’m still going to beat your ass.”

The brunet’s eyes sparkled when he laughed, was Ian’s first thought, followed closely by amazement. How can someone say so much just by a twitch of an eyebrow?

“In your dreams, Orphan Annie. I can beat you with my eyes closed.”

“Awe, it does my heart good to see you kids getting along so well,” Kev’s boisterous voice interrupted their banner. The bartender was smiling like the big doofus he was. Kevin may not be the brightest bulb in the box, but he was a good friend.

“Hey,Kev can I get a water please?” Ian asked, ignoring the curious look Mickey was sending him. He was in no way ready to tell Mickey about his being bipolar. It wasn’t something you announce in the middle of getting to know someone. Besides he wasn’t quite ready to trust him with something so personal.

“Sure thing, Ian. You want anything, Mickey?”   
Mickey asked for a beer, all the while his gaze steady on Ian, making him shift uncomfortably under the curious stare.

“I don’t really drink much,” Ian said, feeling defensive.

“I didn’t say anything, Red. We gonna play or what?” 

Ian nodded, before he started to set up the table for the first game. He felt the tension slowly fade away as they both got into the spirit of the game.

As the evening wore on, Ian eventually gave in and ordered a beer, it wasn’t that he didn’t drink, he just got a buzz faster because of his meds. One drink however wouldn't hurt, so he nursed it while watching Mickey sink the eight ball, followed closely by the cue ball, giving Ian his second win of the night. The outraged expression on his face sent Ian into a fit of giggles.

“Laugh it up, Giggles.I did that on purpose, didn’t want to hear you cry again.” 

“Bullshit you did that on purpose,” Ian said between fits of laughter. The beer was really starting to go to his head. He had a pleasant buzz going on, and he kind of liked it.

“Whatever, man. I’m starting to see why you don’t drink much though. You, Gallagher are a lightweight. Who would’ve thought that a Gallagher can’t hold his booz. Especially with Frank being your dad.”

“He isn’t.”

“What was that, Giggles?” Mickey asked, a smile adorning his face.

“Frank. He isn’t my Dad.” Ian was surprised Mickey didn’t know, all South Side knew by now. 

“Ya I know, man. Mandy told me. Don't change the fact that you grew up thinking he was.”

Ian didn’t like the serious tone that seemed to be breaking its way through the fun he was having. He wasn’t in the mood to talk about his fucked up life, he just wanted to have a fun night out with Mickey. Forget all about everything just for one night. So a change of subject was in order, he searched his mind for something light-hearted to talk about. 

“So what else do you do for fun, since you seem to suck at pool?”  
“Hey, fuck you! I just got tired of beating your ass.”

“You just keep telling yourself that, Mick.” Ian smiled when Mickey flipped him off.

“I don’t know, man. There’s fuck all to do in this town but play pool, get high, and drink.”  
Ian knew this, which was what prompted his next suggestion.

“You ever paintball?”

“What the fuck is that?” Mickey asked.

“It’s where you go to an arena, rent a bodysuit and shoot paintballs at one another.”

“Why the fuck would I wanna do something like that?”

Ian laughed, Mickey sounded genuinely puzzled by it too.

“Because it’s fun. What’s wrong with fun? Carl and I go all the time. I got tomorrow off, how about it - wanna go?” He watched Mickey ponder over the suggestion for what seemed like forever but was only a few moments.

“Ya alright. Fair warning though, I’m a pretty good shot. So be prepared to eat a lot of paint.”  
Ian laughed delightedly. Before doing a little boasting of his own.

“Junior ROTC here, Mick. I can shoot fairly decent myself.” Ian refused to dwell on the fact that his dreams of the military were long gone. Fucked by Terry Milkovich, and genetic DNA, and concentrated on the fact that he was going to be spending the day with Mickey. Someone who was rapidly becoming, despite everything, someone Ian wanted in his life.

“Ya, ya, Army. We will see what you got tomorrow. And if you’re as good as you say you are, maybe we will try out the real thing sometime.”

Ian laughed, he couldn’t wait to make Mickey eat his words, one thing Ian knew he was good at was target shooting. He was the top of his class in ROTC before his life got blown all to hell. Draining the last of his beer, he told Mickey he would see him the next day bright and early, before leaving. Trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of spending the day with Mickey.


	15. Ian

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

It was the constant beeping that woke Ian. He listened as the beep went off once more before realizing it was his notification on his cell letting him know he had a text. Sighing, he reached for it, mentally cursing whoever it was that insisted on waking him on the first day he had off in a week. There had been some sort of bug going around down at the station, and Ian had been filling in whenever he could. The extra hours were great, who couldn’t use a bit of overtime, but it had played hell on his sleep. Sure he grabbed a few hours here and there on the cot in the break room, but not enough to amount to anything. It was hell, but now he has the next two days to catch up on his sleep.

Checking his phone he cursed, nine missed calls and ten texts from Lip, one missed call from Clayton, and six mixed texts from Mickey. Deciding that Lip and Clayton could wait their turn, Ian opened Mickey's thread first.

Mickey: Hey Gallagher u up?

Mickey:Guess not. Ttyl.

Ian smiled, before reading the next one.

Mickey:I’m going to murder ur brother, just wanted to give u a heads up.

Mickey: Asshole’s still alive, it was a close call though. 

Laughing out loud, Ian wondered what Lip had done this time.  
Mickey: Yo Sleeping Beauty u awake yet?

Mickey: WTF Gallagher. Wake the fuck up and text me.

Ian: Jeez, a guy tries to catch up on some sleep and his phone explodes. :)

Ian checked his messages from Lip while waiting on Mickey to respond, nothing important as he suspected, just Lip being Lip. His phone beeped, Mickey, that was quick.

Mickey:Fck u. We still on for tomorrow?

Ian: R u kidding? I wouldn’t miss kicking ur ass at target shooting, just like I did at paintball.

Mickey: Like fck u kicked my ass, besides I never did that shit before. And it will be me kicking ur ass at target practice.

Ian laughed, Mickey was so easy to rile. He had such fun doing it too.

Ian: Keep telling yourself that Mick, I will sit back and watch u eat ur words. ;)

Ian laughed harder when his phone lit up with an incoming call, trying to stem his laughter he answered.

“Hey, Mick.”

“First off, quit your fucking laughing. Second, what the fuck did I tell you about sending those smiling faces, hmm? And last, this isn’t some little game of dodge the paint, this is real guns with real bullets, fuck you very much.”

Ian was laughing so hard now tears were running down his face. He knew Mickey wasn’t really mad he could hear the suppressed laughter in the older man's voice. Laughing was such a new thing to Ian, before he had started hanging out with the older boy he couldn’t find much to laugh about. His life had been filled with the constant fear of something sending him into a panic. Ian hasn’t suffered through one of those for awhile now. He knew it was still there, the PTSD he felt crawling under his skin like a million ants running beneath it, but being with Mickey helped.

Ok, ok. I’m stopping,” Ian stuttered, he really was trying. 

“Like hell you are,” Mickey scoffed.

“I’m done laughing now, Mick. I do know the difference between a real gun and a paintball gun you know.”

“We’ll see, Giggles. You think you can stop laughing long enough to come watch some Walking Dead?”

That really did stop Ian from laughing. As much as he wanted to spend time with the older man tonight, did he want to chance Mandy being there? He hadn’t seen her since that first night. He had handled seeing her better than he thought he would, so maybe it was time.

“Sure. I gotta shower first though. Want me to bring anything?” Ian asked.

“Nope, just get your lanky ass over here, Rick Grimes waits for no man.”

Ian laughed at the sudden ending of the call. Mickey Milkovich was a man of few words, it was a fact Ian was becoming used to.

The night had been going smoothly, it had started out with just the two of them, when Mandy had stumbled in. She seemed unsure of her welcome at first, then she seemed to shake it off and joined them in watching as the Mayor began his attack on the prison. Ian couldn’t stop himself from crying out when he cut Hershel’s head off. The suddenness of it had both shocked and saddened him. He had liked the older man, this show had a real habit of killing off their main characters. 

“That was a bitch move.” Ian said.

“Yeah, the Mayor’s a real asshole,” Mandy commented and Ian couldn’t help but agree with her, after that they took turns commenting on the show, a fact that hadn’t seemed to get by Mickey. He seemed happy that they were talking, and Ian was surprised to find that he was too. With everything that happened he had forgotten how easy it was to talk to her. 

She was like a female Mickey, brash, honest to a fault, a fact that he had forgotten. He had trusted her enough to tell her something he had never told anyone, not even Lip. The one person he had trusted with everything. That had to count for something right?Could he have been wrong? Was it possible that Mandy didn’t have anything to do with what Terry had done to him? He found himself wanting to find out, needing to know if he had misjudged the girl he had trusted with his closely held secret. He was ready to find out, he thinks so anyway. He won’t know until he tries.

Later that evening, Ian was getting ready to leave and the Milkoviches were making noise about going to bed. Ian found himself stopping Mandy when she started towards her bedroom.

“Mandy-” Ian said hesitantly.

“Yeah?” 

“I-I was wondering if you would meet me tomorrow for lunch. I-I think we should talk.”

Mandy was silent for so long, the expressions on her face changing so fast it was hard for Ian to interpret them. He was starting to think she didn’t want to.

“I have to work...:”

“Oh, O-ok,” Ian said, wiping suddenly wet hands down his pant legs, missing the look of anger Mickey threw at Mandy totally.

“But, I’m free after, I get off at 3. Meet me there say 3:15?”

“It’s a date!” Ian reddened at the automatic response. “I mean-”

“I know what you mean, Ian. Relax, fuck you have no chill,” Mandy’s comment caused them all to laugh, breaking the tension in the room. “Night, fuckheads. Some of us have to work in the morning,” Mandy said before going into her room shutting the door behind her.

After she left, the room fell into silence. Ian knew he should leave, but it was getting harder and harder to leave Mickey at the end of the night. His attraction to the older boy was growing stronger every time he saw him, and it was becoming impossible not to let his feelings show. It didn’t help matters that Mickey seemed to be sending the same signals. He couldn’t get past the fact that the older man never gave off gay vibes though. Everything about Mickey shouted I like girls, and it confused the hell out of him.

“She’s been wanting that for a long time you know.” Mickey said.

The suddenness of the comment caused Ian to jump.

“What?” Ian asked.

“Mandy. She has been wanting to talk to you. Clear things up and shit,” Mickey said.

“She never said anything.”

“I don’t think she knew what to say, man. It’s a fucked up situation.”

“Yeah, it really is,” Ian said, softly. Looking at the floor, his mind wandered back to Terry and the beating that changed everything.

“Hey, Red. Don’t go there alright. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Mickey said just as softly.

“It’s alright, Mick. It’s not something I’m likely to forget. It’s there all the time, talking about it is hard, but it’s not like anything can be done to change it.”

Ian’s green eyes met and held worried blue, he wanted so badly to just fall into Mickey's arms, hold him close, and just let him take all the pain away, even if it was just for a little while. The same thoughts must have been going through his mind too, because Ian suddenly found himself being drawn into strong arms. 

“C’mere, man,” Mickey said, before drawing him in, Ian melted into his embrace, tucking his face into the older man’s neck he breathed in his scent. And Ian found home. He felt safe for the first time in years, it was a heady feeling. Suddenly and to his horror, great gasping sobs tore from his throat, Ian cried out all the pain and anger that he never expressed before, he cried until he was hoarse and his throat was sore from the force of the tears. All the while the older man said nothing he just rubbed a comforting hand up and down his back, the other hand in his hair, his fingers running through the strands in a soothing manner.

After he cried himself out, he went to pull away, embarrassed by his break down. Mickey wouldn’t let him though, instead he lifted his chin with a gentle hand. 

“Not happening, Red. I have a feeling that was a long time coming, hmm?” Mickey’s voice was gentle, his touch soft, and his eyes held something Ian had been hoping for. He slowly lowered his head, waiting for Mickey to pull back and punch him, instead the older man met him halfway. The kiss started out soft, hardening into a blazing passion that rocked Ian to his very core. They ate at each others mouths like they were starved for food, the closeness of their bodies made it hard to hide their reactions to each other, Ian moaned.

He never realized how much he wanted this until it was actually happening, still he had to make sure. Breaking the kiss reluctantly.

“Mick-” he breathed, only to get cut off when the older man pulled him into another blazing kiss, ok then, ‘he wants this’ was Ian’s last conscious thought before he lost himself to passion once more. In the midst of the kiss he felt himself being tugged back towards where Mickey’s bedroom was. Seemed the older man was done messing around.

They came to a sudden stop when the back of Mickey’s legs hit the side of the bed, then he fell backwards pulling Ian down on top of him with a groan. Ian lost control, his hands were everywhere, he couldn’t get enough of the feel of him, breaking the kiss, he started sucking and licking at Mickey’s neck, knowing he was probably leaving marks, but not giving a fuck at the present moment.

Mickey moaned, loudly, then started pulling impatiently at Ian’s hair, before dragging him back into another heated kiss. His hands impatiently tugged at the belt of Ian’s jeans. Ian took over while Mickey disposed of his own clothes, before pulling him back to him impatiently.

“Get the fuck on me, Firecrotch.”

Ian just as impatient quickly prepared him and slid in, knowing he wasn’t going to last long, he started thrusting. Hitting Mickey’s prostate dead on everytime, causing the older man to almost scream his release. Ian followed soon after.

“Damn, Firecrotch,” Mickey said, reaching for a cigarette, “that was good.”

Breathing heavily, Ian accepted the cigarette, took a drag, and handed it back.

“Ya,” he agreed, looking over at the older man’s blissed out face, not believing what had just happened hoping it wasn’t a one time thing.

So lost in thought he jumped when Mickey started to kiss softly down his stomach, Mickey laughed.

“You didn’t think I was done with you did ya?” he stopped what he was doing to really look at Ian’s face. He sighed before crawling up Ian’s front and lying down on top of him.  
“Ian, look at me.” Reluctantly Ian met Mickey’s eyes.

“This right here-” Mickey gestured between them, “Look I’m not good with words, never have been. Not wired that way I guess. But I want this, whatever we’re starting here, I want it. Was kinda hoping you did too.”

“I do! Want this, I mean, “ Ian rushed to assure him. “It’s just, I’m a lot to handle, there’s things you don’t know-”

“There’s things you don’t know about me,too. Maybe we jumped into this without knowing everything about each other. But I don’t care, we will learn as we go, alright? Now you think you gotta another round in you? Or what...”

Ian grinned before rolling the other man over and proceeding to show him just how much he had left in him.


	16. Ian

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Ian awoke to the smell of eggs and bacon and smiled, last night had been so mixed with different emotions he was surprised it had ended so well. In fact, it hadn’t ended until the wee hours of the morning. After breaking down like a baby, Mickey had rocked his world, almost literally. Laughing, he jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of boxers off the floor, not caring whose they were. He headed towards the bathroom, stopping briefly on his way to grab his travel pill container out of his coat pocket. He always made it a habit of carrying it just in case, skipping doses fucked him up, so he avoided it.   
He quickly dry swallowed his morning dose, grimacing at the taste. As he headed out into the kitchen, he hoped Mickey didn’t notice the tremors that tended to happen.. Ian smiled at the sight he encountered, Mickey was standing with his back to him, watching whatever was cooking. Ian walked silently over to the oblivious man andhe wrapped his arms around him.  
“Morning,” Ian said softly, kissing the bare shoulder in front of him.  
“Morning, yourself.” Mickey turned and kissed him on the cheek before flipping the pancake in the pan over.  
“Smells good. It’s a lot though, for just the two of us. Unless, is Mandy still here?”  
“No, uh she left this morning, surprised you didn’t hear her bitching. We forgot to close the door last night.”

Ian burst out laughing, causing Mickey to laugh involuntarily with him.

“Laugh it up,fucker. You weren’t the one on the receiving end of that bitch’s wrath. How you didn’t wake up with all the screeching, I’ll never know,” Mickey said, causing Ian to laugh harder, he looked so cute standing there, spatula in hand, waving it about, irate look on his face. It stopped the embarrassment he knew he should be feeling from happening. Although once he had time to think he will probably won’t be able to ever face Mandy again.  
“Sorry, Mickey,” he said, pulling the older man into his arms.

“You better be.” He quickly kissed him before pulling away and asking Ian what time he wanted to meet.

“Well I am meeting Lip later, we’re going to go see Carl. Then I have to meet Mandy, after that nothing. .” Ian said.

“So meet back here after ?” Mickey asked.  
“If you want me to,then yes.”  
“Yeah, I want you to,” Mickey told him.

The visit with Carl had been tense, Lip had gone off on Carl the minute he sat down, causing the younger boy to get defensive. Ian thought for sure they were going to get thrown out of there. But after a warning from the guard, Lip had shut up and Ian and Carl had talked quietly for the rest of the time. After the visit he and Lip ate lunch together, while they didn’t fight, it still was rife with tension, Ian was just glad it was over. Now here he is standing outside Mandy’s place of employment trying to talk himself into going in. He knew this conversation was going to be anything but easy, but he also knew if he and Mickey were going to be together, he needed to sort this shit out. Drawing in a steadying breath, Ian opened the door and walked in.

Mandy was already at a table waiting for him when he walked in, she looked about how he felt and it made him feel a little better knowing he wasn’t the only one having second thoughts. He walked over and sat down in front of her and smiled tensely, here they go.

“Hey, I ordered you a coffee hope that’s ok,” Mandy said.

“It’s fine thanks, “ Ian said.  
“So I guess I’ll start then,” Mandy said when Ian just sat there saying nothing. “I want you to know I never said anything to Terry. I didn’t even know he knew. He must have overheard me talking that day.”

“I sort of figured that might be the case. I mean - not at first, but last night I sort of figured it out,” Ian said softly, wrapping his hands around the cup of coffee in front of him to still the tremors.

“I wondered, you know,” Mandy started, “why you weren’t in school the next day, or for all the days after that really. At first I thought you had moved or something, but then there you were a couple months later, but you were avoiding me and it hurt. Then just as suddenly you were just completely gone. I thought we were going to be friends, you know?”

“I was in the hospital for almost a month. Then after that I debated on returning at all. But you’re right, I was avoiding you. I thought you had told Terry.” Ian wasn’t going to tell her everything, not yet. Maybe not ever. 

“I’m sorry, Ian. For whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry. First for lying to Mickey when you had done nothing to deserve it. And also for what Terry did to you,” Mandy said.

The second time he heard a Milkovich apologize, which in itself seemed strange, Ian suspected it wasn’t something that happened very often. While it didn’t take away from the pain or the suffering he was still experiencing, it went a long way towards helping. He knew he had made leaps and bounds in progress the last year, but he was far from over it.

“I always wondered, you know? What I could’ve possibly done to you that was so bad that even when I told you I was gay you felt the need to tell your Dad. I thought we were good, that maybe we could even be friends. Then the next night my whole world shattered,” Ian said, not really knowing what it was he was saying, he was lost in the past. 

“I thought that too, Ian. We were good, I left there thinking the same thing,” Mandy said.  
“I know it looks bad, but I’m telling you the truth. I didn’t even know anything about it until Terry got out of jail last year.” 

Ian looked at Mandy in surprise, Mickey had said the same thing. It came as a shock that Terry hadn’t gone straight home to brag about it. 

“Ok. Apology accepted,” Ian told her,stopping her before she could go into any details. He didn’t need to hear about Terry bragging. In fact he didn’t want to talk about him at all. As far as he was concerned, the less talk about him the better. He had gotten past the fact that Terry was Mickey’s father, maybe now he could with Mandy as well.

Sensing the need for a subject change, Mandy opened a whole new can of worms that Ian didn’t want to talk about.

“So you and Mickey, huh? How did that come about? And the next time you stay over, please - for fucks sake -make sure the door’s shut. There isn’t enough bleach in the world that can undo what I saw today.”

Ian could actually feel the red rushing to his face, causing Mandy to laugh at the look on his face, and lightening the mood all in one go.

“Oh my God, that is so cute, you're actually blushing right now.”

“Fuck you. I had other things on my mind at the time,” Ian responded, laughing with her.

“I bet you did,” Mandy said, a teasing glint in her eyes.

And just like that they were chattering away, Mandy telling Ian all the dirt she could think of on Mickey that would embarrass him to death, and Ian taking it all in, laughing at the ridiculousness of some of the antics Mickey had gotten into. It wasn’t a fix all but it was a damn good start, both were relieved though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on out the point of views will probably be switching back and forth. It's getting harder to remain just in one persons viewpoint, so just a heads up


	17. Something's never change

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Ian laughed at the look of disbelief on Mickey’s face, he was enjoying seeing the other boy eat his words. After meeting with Mandy, Ian had gone to meet Mickey, and together they went to the old abandoned apartment complex in South Side. Mickey boasting the whole way there about how much he was going to kick his ass at target practice, only to find out it might not be as easy as he thought it would be.

“What the fuck, Gallagher!” Mickey shouted, when Ian hit yet another can off the the window ledge.

“Oh, I thought I told you already. I was in Junior ROTC. One of my best skills was target practice. Nine out of ten everytime,” Ian told him, trying but failing to keep the laughter in.

“No, you never fuckin told me. Why didn’t you tell me how good you were?” Mickey asked.

“What and spoil all your fun? You were acting like a little kid on Christmas morning, it was cute.”

Mickey looked at the shit eating grin on Ian’s face, and couldn’t find it in him to be mad. Seeing Ian laughing, his green eyes sparkling, was a sight to behold, but no way was the fucker getting away with calling him cute.

“Fuck you and don’t call me cute.”

“But you are though,” Ian said, walking over to draw the other boy into his arms. Ignoring the half hearted struggle, he tightened his hold. Mickey returned the embrace, glaring at the laughing ginger.

“”You’re so gay, Gallagher,” Mickey said,smiling despite not wanting to.

“Well, yeah. I thought we established that last night, Mick. My dick in your ass wasn’t enough of a clue?” Ian asked, laughing when Mickey pulled away and punched him lightly in the stomach.

Lighting a cigarette, Mickey walked over to the ratty couch sitting against the wall, sitting down he patted the couch beside him, asking Ian to sit with a raised eyebrow. When the younger boy took him up on his offer, he handed him his lit cigarette before lighting another one for himself.  
They sat smoking in silence, each of them enjoying the comfort they took just being together.

“So how long have you been using this place to target practice?” Ian asked, noting all the graffitti adorned the walls.

“I don’t know, man, a long fuckin time. I started coming here when I was a kid, when I wanted to be alone, this was where I came. I have to kick a few drunks out once in awhile, but that’s about it.”

Ian knew there was more to it than that but he wasn’t going to push, he had his own secrets he wasn’t ready to reveal just yet.

“Mine was the baseball field,” Ian said, causing Mickey to look at him in askance.

“My place to get away. It was the baseball field. I would take my bat and ball and go down to the field to hit some balls and just be, ya know?” Ian tells Mickey. Remembering all the times Frank would come stumbling in the door drunk, those were the times he would single Ian out. Frank never hit the others, just Ian, and only when he was drunk, which was ninety percent of the time. 

When Ian could get away, he would run to the ballfield and lose himself in his love of the game, then Lip would show up with his glove and they would stay for hours. Just tossing the ball back and forth, Lip never said anything though, just supported him. He misses that. Ian always wondered why Frank only hit him, he knows why now though. Frank always knew deep down that Ian wasn’t his. And Ian paid for it.   
“Oh, yeah? I pissed on first base once,” Mickey told him, smiling at the memory of the look on that asshole coaches face.  
“You did? Why?” Ian asked him, laughing at the proud grin on Mickey’s face.  
“Coach was an asshole, I just showed him he couldn’t mess with Mickey Milkovich. I got kicked off the team, but that shit was worth it. I didn’t want to play anyway.”

“Why did you join then?” Ian asked, not being able to help the question, he wanted to know everything about Mickey, even the minor things.

“Terry, man. We just got out of foster care, the old man was trying to prove he was a good father or something. He beat my ass good for it too.” Mickey knew as soon as he mentioned Terry’s name that he shouldn’t have done it. The smile Ian had been wearing faded, replaced by the now familiar look of fear. When he saw Mickey looking he quickly smiled at him in reassurance.

“Hey, Mick it’s ok to mention him, he is your dad. I’m just sorry you had to go through that,”Ian said softly,laying his hand on top of Mickey’s.

“I was in foster care a couple times myself,” Ian told Mickey, trying to show him that he wasn’t mad at him for mentioning Terry. “Frank and Monica weren’t exactly great at keeping a roof over our heads, or food in our bellies. Fiona, she tried, but she wasn’t old enough to get a job. She and Lip would scam people into giving us food though,” he said, remembering the time Fiona and Lip had told the lady in the soup kitchen that Frank and Monica were in the bathroom, and told them to go ahead and get their food, the woman looked skeptical at first, but did it anyway. That was the first time in days that they went to bed with full stomachs.

“How did they manage to keep getting you back?” Mickey asked.

“Frank and Monica would convince the caseworker to admit them into a rehab program, they would set them up with a place to live and jobs. They would give us back, it would be good for awhile, then Frank would fall off the wagon and Monica would go off her meds. Then it would all go to hell again, usually after another baby made its way into the world. By the time Liam was born, Frank had weaseled his way into his Aunt Ginger’s house and Fiiona was old enough to quit school and started taking care of us.” 

Mickey thought he had it bad with Terry, sure the fucker made their lives a living hell, beat them for everything real or imagined that they did wrong. At least they had a roof over their heads, and until Mom died a few years after Mandy was born they had a mother that gave a shit. Ian had none of those things.

The ringing of Mickey’s cell phone interrupted the silence they had fallen into. He saw it was Mandy and he answered it.

“What do you want, bitch? I’m busy,” Mickey said, annoyed at the interruption.

“With what, sucking Ian’s dick?” Mandy asked.

“None of your business what I’m doing. What the fuck do you want?” Mickey was pissed she called, now he’s pissed that she doesn’t know when to shut up.

“I need to know when you're coming home, I’m ordering pizza and I gotta know how much to order. Oh, is Ian coming with you?” 

“I’ll be home when I get there,” Mickey said then he looked over at the redhead and asked. “You coming over tonight?” At Ian’s nod, he told Mandy and ended the call without saying goodbye.

“Bitch is too nosy for her own good,” Mickey said before standing up and stretching. “You ready to go? Mandy’s ordering pizza.”

Ian nodded and followed the brunet as he started walking towards the exit.

In the days that followed Ian spent more time at the Milkovich's only going home long enough to grab his spare meds and some clothes. Ian knew it was only a matter of time before something came along to screw it up. He was never allowed to be happy for any length of time and it seemed the Gallagher curse was holding true.  
He was proved right when he received a text from Fiona marked urgent in big capital letters.

Fiona: URGENT! FAMILY MEETING TONIGHT AT 8

Family meeting, two words Ian always dreaded hearing, they were never a good thing,the last one had been when he had told everyone his decision to move above Clayton’s garage. Fiona had felt the need to have a family meeting for it that turned out to be an intervention. Fiona and Lip had both ganged up on him, it had gotten ugly quick, all of them saying things that had resulted in the way they were today.

It wasn’t an experience Ian was looking forward to repeating. He wouldn’t go at all if it wasn’t for the fact that his life would be made a living hell because of it.

“What has you glaring at your phone so early in the morning, Red?” Mickey asked as he wrapped Ian up in his arms from behind.looking over his shoulder into sleepy blue eyes, Ian smiled softly.

“Family meeting,” Ian answered, leaning back into the embrace. He couldn’t get over how safe he felt in Mickey’s arms. Feeling safe was a new experience for Ian, he was so used to relying on no one but himself, never feeling safe enough to just be. It was nice and addicting, he didn’t know what he would do if it was ever taken away from him.   
He thought the move to Clayton’s would solve all his problems, and it did, to a point, but he didn’t feel safe.

“Is that a bad thing?” Mickey asked, kissing his shoulder.

“It can be,” Ian said.

“Then don’t go.” Mickey made it seem so easy, but it wasn’t.

“It’s not that simple. Fiona says family meeting everyone shows up.” Ian tried to make light of it, but Mickey wasn’t buying it.

“Bullshit. It is that easy, you don’t wanna go, then don’t. Simple as that.”

Ian turned to face Mickey and wrapped his own arms around the older man, and gavehim a soft kiss before lying his head on Mickey’s shoulder.

“Not showing up will cause more trouble than it’s worth. Fiona and Lip would be at my door quicker than shit.”

“Fuck ‘em. Let them show, you’re here anyway so it’s not like it matters.”

Ian knows Mickey doesn’t understand, he wouldn’t, he doesn’t know the full story. Doesn’t know that Ian has bipolar, and that to them him not showing could only mean one of two things. Either he is in bed and can’t get up, or he’s so far up he doesn’t want to come down. Or worse, that he was lying in a pool of his own blood and vomit. It’s all happened before, and they never forgot. Ian never forgot. 

He won’t forget, the consequences are much too high, someday when he is ready, he will sit Mickey down and explain everything to him. Not yet though, this is all still too new, he knows he is taking a risk in not telling Mickey, he just doesn’t want to ruin it. With that thought in mind he distracts him by lying down and pulling Mickey with him. 

The next night finds Ian at the Gallagher home, he braces himself for whatever is going to happen and opens the door. He is the last one to arrive which is understandable, he lives the farthest. That and he had just finished his shift at work, so he had come straight there, not bothering to stop at home first to change.

Fiona and Lip are in deep conversation when they notice him, the sudden silence makes him think it was him they were talking about. Debbie is glaring daggers at Fiona and Liam is just sitting there quietly, taking it all in.

“Hey,Ian,” Debbie said, looking at him and smiling before going back to glaring a hole through Fiona’s back.

“Hey, Debs,” Ian said, walking further into the room and sitting on the arm of the chair Debbie is occupying. It’s closer to the door, making it easier to leave if he felt the need to do so.

“So what did I miss?” Ian asked, knowing that whatever was being discussed more than likely would come back to bite him on the ass later, and he just wanted it to be over.

“Oh nothing much, just Fiona trying to run people's lives again,” Debbie said, causing Fiona to turn her own glare on her. Uh oh, maybe this wasn’t about him after all.

“That’s not true, Debbie I’m just trying to help you,” Fiona shouted,

“Yeah, well nobody asked for your help did they?” Debbie shouted back.

Ian met Lip’s eyes silently asking him what was going on, he just shrugged like he didn’t know either. Before he went back to watching the fight between Fiona and Debbie.

“I just want what’s best for you, Debbie. I don’t want you to mess up your life,” Fiona said trying to reason with her.

“You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Fiona. It’s my life.”

“Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?” Lip asked.

“Debbie is pregnant,” Fiona announced.

“What?” 

“What the fuck!” Lip and Ian responded at the sametime.

“You heard me, but she is getting an abortion,” Fiona said, running an agitated hand through her hair.

So that explained the looks Debbie had been shooting at Fiona all night.

“No I’m not!” Debbie said.

“Yes you are. Having a baby of your own isn’t the same as running a daycare in the summer, Debbie. You can’t give the baby back. I raised five kids, I’m not raising anymore.”

Holy fuck this is a real shit show. Debbie being pregnant was the last thing Ian would have ever guessed. Glancing over at Fiona he noticed how tired she looked, he knows the last few years have been tough on her too. Dealing with the shit that went on with him, Carl’s arrest, and now Debs being pregnant had to be icing on the cake.

“I’m not asking you to raise my baby, Fiona. I can do it.”

“And what about school, Debs? You had plans to go to college next year, how are you going to do that and take care of a baby?” Lip asked her.

“It’s called daycare, Lip,” Debbie said, rolling her eyes.

“Where are you getting the money to do that?” Fiona asked.

“I’ll get a part time job.” 

Ian listened as Debbie seemed to have an answer to all the questions Fiona and Lip were throwing at her. Seemed like she had it all planned out, almost a little too planned out in Ian’s opinion. 

“Where’s the father at?” Ian asked, watching as Debbie grew more defensive, yeah there was something definitely going on here.

“Not in the picture.” All three Gallagher’s turned their astonished looks on her. “What? He doesn’t want any part of the baby, I don’t need him.”

The stunned silence that filled the room at her announcement was broken by the door flying open and with it the sound of Frank’s drunken voice.

“Hello, family!” He looked around taking in the tenseness of the room. “Why so glum? It’s a beautiful night.”

“Shut up, Frank,” Ian’s comment was followed closely by Fiona’s.

“Leave Frank.”

“Is that anyway to speak to your loving father? Damn ungrateful kids. I gave you a good life and this is how you repay me?”

Ian knew coming here would be a mistake. He should’ve listened to Mickey and just stayed with him. Frank’s appearance always made things worse.

“You heard Fiona, Frank it’s time for you to go.” Lip was next in trying to get Frank to leave, not that it would do any good.

“This is my house and a man has the right to be in his own house. It’s written in the constitution.”

Did he even listen to himself when he spoke, Ian wondered. He never made any sense. It had to be the alcohol and drugs that fried his brain. 

“This is not your house, Frank, you pay for anything here. This is ridiculous, why am I even fighting with you. If you won’t leave can you just sit down and shut up. We are trying to talk here,” Fiona pleaded, totally at her wits end.

“No, he is leaving, right now, Ian.” Lip nodded at the redhead to grab Frank’s other arm, moving to his other side Ian did and together they each picked a protesting Frank up and walked towards the door.

“This is an outrage, I tell you. A man’s home is his castle and you as my loyal subjects-” 

“Yeah, yeah, Frank we’ve heard it all before,” Lip said sarcastically. They threw him out onto the porch before they went back into the house and closed the door firmly behind them.


	18. They think I'm like her

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

After they deposited Frank on the porch, Ian and Lip walked into the room to find Debbie gone and Fiona sitting on the couch with her shoulders slumped and her head in her hands. She looked so defeated sitting there and it scared Ian, Fiona had never looked so worn down. Hearing them she looked up, she had tears running down her face.

“Where did we go wrong? Carl in jail, Deb’s pregnant. It’s one thing after another and I can barely keep up.” The defeat in her voice caused the butterflies in Ian’s stomach to flutter nervously. 

Lip sighed before walking over and sitting beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he offered her a cigarette. “It wasn’t anything we did, Fi. Debbie and Carl are responsible for their own actions. We tried to warn Carl, but he didn’t listen. Debbie, she knows first hand about unwed mothers, the school has a daycare for Christs sake, you took her for birth control, you did your part. Stop blaming yourself,” .

“He’s right, Fi. Carl got caught up in a situation that was beyond our control, nothing we said or did could have changed his mind. I can talk to Debbie though. If you want me to?.” Ian said. that she would accept the help he offered. They weren’t as close as they once were, but he wanted to help.

Fiona looked at the redhead her expression pensive, then she nodded. “Sure, Ian. Give it a try, good luck though. She is really digging her heels in on this one.” 

Ian nodded and headed towards the stairs, he was going to talk to Debbie, but not about an abortion. She didn’t want one and it was her body, her decision. What he was about to do was going to drive an even farther wedge between Fiona, Lip, and himself, but he just couldn’t allow Fiona to force Debbie into doing something she wouldn’t be able to live with.  
He knew all about being forced to live with other people's decisions, Terry saw him and decided he was gonna have fun by beating him half to death, and he had to live with his decision for the rest of his life. It had cost him so much, his hearing, his dream of joining the army. Everything that he knew was gone with that one decision. So he was going to make sure Debbie knew all her options, not just the ones Fiona decided for her.

Reaching her bedroom door he knocked, he wasn’t just going to rush in.

“Debs, it’s Ian. Can I come in?”

“Is Fiona with you?” she asked, her voice muffled with tears.

“Nope, just me.”

“You can come in then.”

Ian opened the door and slipped in, closing it behind him. He didn’t want any chance of being overheard.

“If you came up here to try and get me to change my mind, you’re just wasting your time.”

Ian walked over to sit down beside her, not liking the helpless look he saw in his little sister’s face, he knew that look, he has seen it everyday in the mirror for the last three years. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to see on someone he loved. 

“That isn’t what I came up here for Debs,” Ian reassured her.

“It’s not?” Ian shook his head., 

Debbie asked, “So what did you come up here for?”

Ian sighed, he was going to catch hell for this he can already feel it. But he was going to do it anyways.

“Debs, I want to ask you something, and please think carefully before you answer.” At Debbie's nod of agreement he went on.”Do you really want this baby, I mean really want it? And not just because keeping it will piss Fiona off?”

Before Ian was completely done asking, Debbie was nodding her frantically nodding her head.

“I want this baby, Ian. More than anything. Fiona just doesn’t understand, I don’t see my baby as something that will ruin my life, only add to it. I got this little person growing inside of me, it didn’t ask to be put there. Fiona doesn’t want kids, I can understand that, she raised all of us, but this baby is mine. Not hers, so why should she be the one to decide whether or not it lives or dies?”

Ian listened as Debbie defended her right to keep her baby, and knew he was making the right decision.

“Ok. If you really want to do this I’m not going to stand in your way. Fiona and Lip though are a different story. You have choices, Debs. Adoption is one, but being that you want to keep it, well...you could stay here and have Fiona on your back constantly trying to get you to change your mind. Or-” Ian stopped for a second, looked at Debbie, and hoped he was making the right call. “Or you can move in with me. I have an extra bedroom, you won’t have to worry about paying rent. Just keep the place free from clutter and we are good.”

“Move in with you? What would Clayton say?” Debbie asked.

“You let me worry about Clayton. So what do you say, Debs. Be my roommate?” 

Debbie threw herself into Ian’s arms, crying with relief. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Ian. You're the best big brother a girl can have.”

“Don’t thank me yet, we still have to tell Fiona and Lip,” Ian said returning her embrace with a laugh.

Lying in bed that night, Ian couldn’t sleep, it had gone over about as well as he expected when they had told Fiona about Debbie moving in with him. She had accused him of trying to turn Debbie against her, which Ian found totally unfair because Debbie was already against Fiona. When he pointed that out; however, it was when shit had truly hit the fan. He knew it was far from over, but for now Ian was going to text Mickey and try to forget the travesty that always came from being a Gallagher.

Ian: U awake?

Mickey: Am now. 

Ian: Sorry. I’ll let you go back to sleep.

Mickey: Naw it’s alright. What’s wrong?

Ian: I miss you.

Mickey: Gay! 

Mickey: I told u to come over.

Ian: Really not the best company right now.

The phone lit up, Mickey was calling. Ian smiled and answered.

“Hey, Mick. Sorry for waking you,” Ian said softly in greeting.

“Shut the fuck up. What’s the matter?”

The gruffness in Mickey’s voice couldn’t cover the worry, and Ian felt bad for calling the older man over the drama that comes from being a Gallagher.

“It’s nothing,” Ian said trying to play it off, but his voice cracked, making a liar out of him.

“Bullshit. Nothing wouldn’t have you texting me at bum fuck in the moring. So you might as well spill.” 

“I went to Fiona’s tonight,” Ian began.

“I told you not to go,” Mickey said.

“Yeah, I know you did. I went anyway and it went about as well as I expected it to.” 

“Holy fuck, red do I have to pull it out of you one syllable at a time.”

Ian laughed, despite the tears in his eyes.

“Debbie's pregnant. Fiona wants her to get an abortion, but Debs - she doesn’t want to. So I thought I would be the nice brother and offered for Debbie to move in with me. It turned into a real shit show,” Ian said, the tears finally escaping, and flowing down the sides of his face. He hated when they did that, they always ended up in his ears.

It got quiet on the other end for a minute he thought Mickey had hung up, but before he could get even more upset the older boy spoke.

“Aw shit, Ian. I wish you would have just come here.”

“Me too,” Ian choked. He needed to feel Mickey’s arms around him right now more than the air he needed to breath.

“You work tomorrow?” Mickey asked, confusing Ian at the abrupt change in subject.

“No. I don’t go back til midnight on Thursday,” Ian said., He finished up his run of days, and began nights next, giving him the next two days off.

“You wanna come over tomorrow?” 

“Ya. I have to help Debbie move her stuff in the morning, but I can come over after.”

“That works out good, I work until three, so I’ll see you then.” They said their goodbyes they hung up.

Mickey looked at the time wondering what was keeping the redhead, he had been home for a couple of hours and Ian should have been there by now. He didn’t like the way Ian calling him upset had affected him, he felt helpless, which was a foreign concept to the thug.

The knock at the door could only mean one thing, the redhead was finally there. Opening the door he stepped back to let him in, taking in the drawn pale look on his handsome face. He looked like he had been through the ringer, Mickey didn’t like it, not even just a little. When Ian had left yesterday he had been jittery, sure, but he had left with a smile on his face. The man standing in front of him right now looked nothing like that.

“Hey, Mickey.” He even sounded tired. What the fuck did those assholes do to him? He was going to kick Lip’s ass the next time he saw him.

“Jesus, Gallagher whose ass do I gotta kick?” The question caused the redhead to smile briefly before it faded.

“No one, Mick. They’re just a lot to deal with.” Ian pulled him im for a brief kiss before grabbing his hand and leading him towards the couch. He needed Mickey’s comfort right now, and frankly he didn’t care how it made him look.

Sitting down he pulled on Mickey’s hand until the brunet sat down beside him, then he leaned into him until Mickey wrapped his arms around him.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Mickey asked, tightening his arms around Ian briefly before kissing his redlocks.

“Not really, but I will. Could we just sit here for a minute first? I really need to just be for a minute.”

Mickey didn’t know what in the hell happened, but whatever it was threw Ian all out of whack. He hadn’t seen him like this since that first day at the garage, and he didn’t miss it. Seemed like all those assholes knew how to do was make Ian’s life miserable. They sat there in silence for awhile, Mickey gave Ian the time he needed to regroup. He couldn’t believe how patient he was being. Only Gallagher could be responsible for making him act so out of character. If Terry could see him now, he would probably kill him twice.

“They say I’m like Monica,” Ian said so softly Mickey could barely make out what he was saying.

“What’s that, mumbles. I can barely hear you.” Mickey said.

“Fiona and Lip, they say I’m like Monica, like my Mom.” Ian’s voice broke, at the end of the sentence. “I’m trying not to be though. Trying so hard not to be anything like her. No matter what I do though, they just keep comparing me to her.” Ian wiped at the tears that were coming out of his eyes, knowing they were soaking Mickey’s shirt, but he couldn’t stop them from falling. Not too long ago he wasn’t able to express himself by crying. Mickey changed that though and now he couldn’t seem to stop.

He was spilling yet more of his secrets to Mickey, and he could only hope it wouldn’t scare the older man away. That he wouldn’t scare him away with his fucked up brain, who would want to be with someone who didn’t even know who they were from one moment to the next? He was banking on Mickey though, because there was no stopping now,

“Monica, she’s bipolar, but she refuses to accept it. She comes in and out of our lives, messing things up. Refusing to take her meds, and Frank - he just makes things worse, he encourages her not to. They think I’m just like her, bipolar, and off my meds. I’m taking them though. I have been stable for over a year. But they refuse to see it.”

Mickey listened as the redhead spilled his guts, crying so hard he could barely understand everything he was saying. He did hear him say he was bipolar though. Mickey had heard whispers about Monica Gallagher, who hadn’t in the South Side? He also knew what bipolar was, one of the guys in juvie had it. When he had first shown up he had been bouncing off the walls, talking a million miles per hour, he started seeing the shrink and he had calmed way down. So much so he was like a walking zombie. He eventually started acting normal, but those first few days were something else.

“I only wanted to help. Debbie wants to keep her baby, but Fiona she wants her to get an abortion. So I offered for Debbie to move in with me, I have an extra bedroom so why not right? Fiona started first, she said I wasn’t acting right, that I hadn’t been for awhile. That she knew the only reason I moved out was because I had stopped taking my meds. She said I wasn’t acting normal. Lip agreed with her and he said that he caught me singing the other day.” 

“So just because you were happy, they thought you were off your meds?” Mickey asked, not believing what he was hearing. Ian nodded, then he drew in an unsteady breath to continue.

“I guess. I’m taking my meds though, everyday. It’s just that life isn’t so shitty anymore you know? Sure it’s not all rainbows and sunshine, but it’s not all cloudy either. I have you, that is if you don’t mind having a crazy boyfriend?”

“Shut the fuck up. You're not crazy, at least not any crazier than me.” Kissing him hard on the mouth, Mickey stood up and stretched. “Go wipe your face, dribbles. We can talk some more about this later. I’m hungry. You want some pizza rolls?” He asked, heading towards the kitchen,leaving a smiling Ian behind him.

“Yeah, Mick. Pizza rolls are good.” He got up and went into the bathroom to wash his face. Seemed he had nothing to worry about in telling Mickey he was bipolar, the older boy just took it in stride. It was a good feeling, acceptance.


	19. Trusting him

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Mickey glared at the unsuspecting back of Lip Gallagher, it was taking everything in him not to go over and lay the fucker flat out. The only thing stopping him was that he needed this job to pay the rent on his shitty apartment, that and the fact that Ian probably wouldn’t want him doing it, despite the way the asshole treated him, he was still his brother.

He had always despised the know it all fucker, and knowing the way he treated Ian made him hate him that much more. Ian had been back and forth all in his mood the night before. Going from tearful one minute to smiling the next. He had explained and apologised so many times he had lost count. That whenever something highly emotional happened it caused his moods to swing. It wasn’t anything to worry about, but it happened sometimes. Mickey had to reassure him it was alright, over and over again.

He had left the younger man sleeping, a post orgasm smile on his handsome face. Hoping he would get a few more hours sleep, having been up all night. Mickey wasn’t tired himself, he was too pumped up to sleep. Anger did that to him.

“Why are you glaring at Gallagher like that?” Looking over to see who was talking to him, he saw it was Bob, the only guy he could tolerate that worked in this joint.

“I need a reason to? He’s an asshole, that’s reason enough in my book,” Mickey said, causing the other man to laugh.

“Normally I would agree with you, but this isn’t your regular ‘I hate you and wish you were dead glare’. This one is the ‘I hate you and I will kill you where you stand’ stare. So what gives, he stole your girlfriend or something?”

Mickey turned his glare from Lip onto the brunet, before going back to glaring at the former.

“Mind your fucking buisness,” Mickey spat angrily causing Bob to laugh harder.

“That’s it isn’t it? Gallagher stole your girl, now you want to beat his ass. Bro’s before ho's man. Ain’t no woman worth it, trust me.”

“Listen asshole, Gallagher didn’t steal my girl because there is no girl. Do you understand or do I have to beat your ass? Now would you kindly leave me alone, so I can get back to work,” Mickey said, glaring one last time at Lip before going back to the starter he was putting in the car he was working on.

“Whatever you say, bro. What's that old saying? “Me thinks thou protests too much”.”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Mickey screamed, throwing a screwdriver at the back of the laughing man.

“Fuckin asshole thinks he knows everything. Girlfriend, yeah he really had one of those.” 

Remembering the slumbering redhead at home he smiled. 

“Now boyfriend on the other hand, he had one of those.” 

He continued working on the car in front of him with a smile on his face, his thoughts turned to t all the things he was going to do to said redhead whenever he got home. His mood improved considerably, that was until the very man he wanted to give a beat down was standing beside him, waiting for him to acknowledge his presence, well the asshole was going to be waiting a long time, because Mickey had no intention of talking to the fucker.

“Hey, Milkovich. You got a ⅓ wrench?” Lip asked.

“Not for you,” Mickey said, not looking at him.

“What the fuck crawled up your ass?” Lip said, getting pissed himself. 

Good. Let the asshole get pissed, maybe he’ll take a swing, give Mickey an excuse to hit him.

“Wouldn’t you like to know? Fortunately it’s on a need to know list. And you, you fucker, do not need to know,” Mickey said, shoulder checking him as he walked around him to get to his tool box. Causing Lip to almost lose his balance, Mickey wished he would’ve, that shit would have made his day.

“Watch where you're going, asshole,” Lip said

“Then get out of my way. I’m not giving you shit. See if someone else has one.”

Mickey turned his back on the fuming Gallagher, until the other man got sick of waiting and left. It wasn’t the beat down he wanted to give, but he’ll take it.

Ian woke up to find the tv on, volume turned down, so as not to wake him. Mandy was sitting quietly in the armchair watching what looked like Twilight. He smothered a laugh at her choice of movie, causing her to look over at him and smile.

“What’s so funny?” She asked.

“Twilight? Really, Mandy? Even Debbie stopped watching that once she hit puberty,” Ian teased her, laughing harder when she flipped him off.

“Fuck you! The dude that plays Jake is hot.” 

“I’ll give you that. Still, the movie wasn’t the best was it? Whoever heard of vampires that sparkle anyway?” Ian watched as Mandy struggled not to laugh at his teasing.

“So what’s your favorite vampire movie then?” she asked him, her blue eyes so much like Mickey’s, had a teasing glint in them.

“Fuck vampires, give me a good zombie movie anyday.” 

“Oh, I love zombie movies. Dawn of the Dead was my all time fave,” Mandy said warming up to the idea of talking about movies with the redhead.

“Eh, it was good. My all time fave is World War Z. Brad Pitt, Mandy. Enough said.”

“True true. Brad Pitt is one sexy son of a bitch. So how about slasher movies then?” Mandy was thrilled to find someone else that shared her love of horror movies. Mickey thinks they are stupid and refuses to sit thru them without making remarks about them.

“Halloween Saga. All of them, except for Season of the Witch. What is a Halloween movie with no Michael Myers?”

“Definitely. Although Chuckie is a close second.” 

“Man, fuck that doll. Carl had nightmares for weeks after watching it. He was always climbing in bed with either me or Lip. Fiona banned the movie from being played.”

They were so deep in their talk that they both jumped at the sound of Mickey’s voice.

“What the fuck are you two watching? Twilight? I expect that from Mandy, but Gallagher you disappoint me in your taste of movies,” Mickey said, lifting Ian’s feet before sitting down, with his legs across his lap.

“Not me, Mick. It was on when I woke up. Debbie watched these movies too much when she was younger, it cured me of wanting to ever watch it again.”

“Fuck you both,” Mandy said, getting up to get a beer, before sitting back down.

“Where’s mine, bitch?” Mickey asked when he noticed.

“In the fridge, I’m not your maid,” Mandy said, taking a drink while ignoring the glare Mickey sent her way.

“You could’ve got me one.” 

“I could’ve, but decided not to.” 

Ian loved listening to the bickering between Mickey and Mandy, it was entertaining to watch them trying to one up each other. Getting up, he ignored the protests coming from Mickey and went to get him a beer, grabbing one for himself too. Handing the beer to a pouting Mickey, Ian sat down beside the older man.

“Well I’m not watching this shit that’s for damn sure,” Mickey said, grabbing up the remote and flicking through the movies on Netflix before settling on The Fast and Furious. Ian perked up, he loved this movie. Fast cars and action packed.

“Come on, Mickey. Between this and Under Seige it’s all you watch.” Mandy's complaint didn’t seem to register to the brunet though, so she sat back with a huff.

Later that night after Mandy had stormed off to bed in a fit of anger, Mickey and Ian settled in for some much needed alone time. Ian kept glancing over at the older man, looking away when he caught him, this kept happening until Mickey finally broke.

“What?” Ian finally turned fully towards him nervously biting his lip. “Spit it out, Gallagher. Whatever it is that has you tweaking like a bitch, just spit it out”

“I have my monthly check up tomorrow,” Ian began before stopping once more. He had to see his therapist and wanted to ask Mickey to go with him. Phil had been on his ass to make a support list and Ian wanted to ask Mickey to be on it, he had already asked Mandy. Ian had told her after she had accidently caught him taking his morning meds. She and Mickey were fast becoming the only ones he felt he could rely on. 

“What’s the matter, are you ok?” Mickey was worried, was there something else the younger boy had wrong with him, was he physically sick?

“Not that kind of appointment, Mick,” Ian rushed to reassure him. “It’s with my therapist.   
Once a month I have to go in, he reavaluates me and makes sure my meds are still working. Tries to get me to spill my guts to him.”

“Ok. And?” 

“Phil, my therapist, has been on me to make a support list. I was hoping you could come listen to what he has to say. Maybe be on the list?” Ian wasn’t looking at Mickey, he didn’t want to see what his reaction was. It was one thing to know he was bipolar, but doing what he is asking is a whole new can of worms.

Mickey watched as Ian nervously chewed on his lip, not meeting his eyes. Surely he didn’t think he would turn him down? He was pretty sure he would do anything for the redhead at this point.

“Of course I will. What time is your appointment?” Ian looked up and met Mickey’s eyes for the first time since the beginning of this conversation. His blue eyes were soft and he was smiling warmly at him.

“It’s at three thirty. I can pick you up from work and we can go straight there,” Ian said, knowing the older man got off at three. If he waited until Mickey got home they would never make it in time.

“Sounds like a plan. Though I don’t think your asshole brother is going to be too happy seeing me get in the car with you,” Mickey said, looking forward to seeing the expression on the older Gallagher’s face. He knew though that it was going to create more trouble for Ian.

“Fuck him. He has gotta find out sometime, right?” Ian said, but he knew what Mickey was saying, Lip would rant and rave at him. Then he will go home and get Fiona in on it, it will all be worth it though, it was none of their business though. They will just have to accept it, Mickey was in his life now he wasn’t letting anyone mess that up for him.


	20. Support

CHAPTER TWENTY

Mickey was finishing up the 1969 Camaro that a buddy of Lou’s had brought in for a tune up, he only had about twenty minutes until Ian got there and he wanted to be standing outside waiting on the redhead. Despite wanting to see the elder Gallagher’s reaction to him leaving with Ian, Mickey didn’t want Ian to have to deal with the fallout it would no doubt bring.

Ian had said he didn’t care, and Mickey believed him, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to protect Ian from it though. Wanting to protect Ian from being hurt was starting to become a habit. Watching the redhead fall apart was one of the worst things Mickey had seen in awhile, it was something he never wanted to see again if he could help it.

He glanced around looking for the asshole he just loved to hate and he was standing at the door smoking a cigarette, awesome the dick was blocking his way out and he had the perfect view of the parking lot. Mickey’s luck seemed to be holding true to form.

Sighing at the thought of what no doubt was going to become the confrontation he was trying so hard to avoid, Mickey finished washing up and headed for the door. As he approached he saw the other man straighten from his slumped position, he knew then he had spotted the redhead pulling in. Speeding up, he got through the door just as Lip was tapping on the passenger side window of Ian’s jeep. He quickened his steps when he heard the sound of raised voices.

“Mickey Milkovich? Have you lost your mind, Ian?” Lip’s voice was raised in anger

“Apparently you seem to think so, and if the mighty Lip Gallagher says it, it must be so,” Ian shot back, making Mickey proud that the redhead wasn’t backing down.

“This is exactly why Fiona and I want you to come home, the decisions you make are not good for your health, Ian.”

Mickey’s fists clenched at his side wanting nothing more than to go over and punch Lip Gallagher right in his condescending mouth, the only thing keeping him rooted in his spot was Ian’s slight head shake when he spotted Mickey’s arrival. He will abide by his wishes, for now, but if that fucker upset Ian in any way he was going over there and there was nothing the redhead could do to stop him.

“You really trust him? He’s Terry’s son for fucks sake. He’s probably luring you in so he can finish the job his daddy started.” 

Ian blanched, his face losing what little bit of color it had, seeing the look on Ian’s face was the last straw.

“Hey, asshole, you got a problem with me? You take it up with me!” Mickey shouted startling an unsuspecting Lip who had yet to notice him standing there, so intent he was on tearing Ian down. He seemed to pull himself together however and he turned to face the angry brunet.

“You're damn right I got a problem with you, what did I tell you about going around Ian?” 

Mickey laughed, rubbing his thumb against his mouth, this fucker had balls, he’ll give him that much.

“Excuse me? I didn’t know I needed your fucking permission,” Mickey said getting up in Lip’s face. Wanting the asshole to take a swing.

“You’re damn straight you need my permission. What are you trying to prove anyway? Trying to prove to Daddy that you are a man. Get close to my brother then when he least expects it, by finishing the job he thought was already done?”

That was all it took, by suggesting that Mickey could ever hurt Ian in anyway the fucker had signed his own death warrant. Mickey drew back his fist and punched the other man in the face, knocking him to the ground. Then Mickey proceeded to kick the ever loving shit out of him. A hand pulling him back caused him to pause in the beatdown he was giving the prick though, looking back to see who had been foolish enough to touch him. He stopped when he saw Ian standing there, his face pale and eyes red from repressed tears.

“Come on, Mick he isn’t worth all this, we gotta get going if I’m going to make my appointment.” Ian’s voice cracked halfway through the sentence, and Mickey wanted to take up where he left off with the asshole lying on the ground.

“Ok, but I’m driving.” 

Ian nodded, before turning and climbing into the passenger side of the jeep, Mickey spit on Lip when he stepped over him, before climbing into the car himself,more than a little shaken at the beating he just witnessed. 

The waiting room was empty, the way it always was when Ian was there, he always asked to be the last appointment of the day, so far Lisa had abided by his wishes. He was sitting beside Mickey nervously chewing on his lip, tasting the tang of blood, he winced. Mickey spotted the involuntary movement and gently pulled his lower lip from his teeth.

“Stop that, there’s no reason to be nervous here. You asked me to come, so I did. Easy as that, if I didn’t wanna be here I wouldn’t have come.” 

Ian smiled, Mickey always seemed to surprise him, he knew what he was thinking sometimes before Ian did. Lip used to be the one who could read him best, not anymore though. He didn’t know him at all, it was a sad but true fact. The thought of his older brother caused the smile to fade.

“I’m sorry, Mick. For Lip and the way he acted. It was totally uncalled for.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that asshole, Ian. The things he was saying about me, that shit just rolled off my back. I could give two shits in hell what Lip Gallagher thinks about me. But what he said about you? That pissed me off. He had no reason to attack you like that, your brother man, you deserve better from him.”

“I’m used to Lip though. His favorite pastime is making me feel like a two year old. You shouldn’t have to put up with it.” 

Ian’s appointment went better than he expected, he had been nervous about Mickey being there and hearing how fucked up he really was. The older boy had taken it all in stride though.

Asking his therapist question after question about all the signs and symptoms he had to look for to help Ian stay stable. Apparently Mickey had done some research without him knowing about it. How he had found the time to was anyone's guess though.

It made Ian feel good, like someone finally cared enough to just ask what he needed, not demand he do what they thought was best for him. It was refreshing and so different from what he was used to.

“Hey, Raggedy Andy where did you go I’ve been talking to you for the last five minutes.” Mickey’s teasing voice cut through Ian’s daydreaming. He blushed with embarrassment before smiling at the older boy.

“Sorry, Mickey. My mind tends to wonder sometimes.” 

“I can see that, red. I asked you if I needed to stop at the pharmacy before heading home?”

Ian looked over at Mickey, taking the opportunity to look at him, something that always made the older boy uncomfortable. So he took his time, Mickey doesn’t realize how truly amazing he was. Anybody else would’ve turned tail and ran if they heard even half of what Mickey heard today. Not Mickey though, he just dug his heels in harder.

“Gallagher!” Ian jumped at the suddenness of the scream,

“Fuck, sorry. No, I’ll just double up on the ones I have. Get them refilled when I run out.”

“Jesus, you're a real scatter head today. What’s got you thinking so hard, hmm?” Mickey asked him curiously 

“Why are you still here?” 

The comment caught Mickey off guard, he took his eyes off the road for a minute, meeting the insecure eyes of Ian’s.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

When Ian jumped, he felt like an ass, but he needed to know what the redhead meant by that comment.

“I just mean anybody else would have left. I have so much baggage, Mick.”

“You listen to me cause I’m only gonna say this once. I’m not anybody else, Ian. I’m not going to leave you just because you get a little crazy once in awhile. I have my own baggage too, you know? You gonna leave me cause of it?”

Ian looked shocked by the question, it never even once crossed his mind that Mickey felt the same way he did. He always seemed so confident and self assured. 

“Never!”

“Alright then, so that’s all settled, neither of us are leaving the other. So I’m hungry, wanna go bother Mandy at work?”

Ian laughed, they had gone to the diner Mandy worked at a couple of times, and it had been a real trip. Mickey demanded free food and Mandy refused everytime. In fact one time it got so bad Ian actually feared Mandy would lose her job. Needless to say when she got home that night she was pissed.

“As long as you promise to behave this time,” Ian said.

“What? I’m always on my best behavior,” Mickey defended himself with a laugh.

“You screamed at her about your steak being overcooked and threw the plate at her!” Ian corrected him.

“It isn’t my fault the bitch doesn’t know the difference between medium and medium rare.”

“It was so rare I’m surprised it didn’t stand up and moo at us, Mickey. Admit it - you just enjoy giving Mandy hell.” 

“I admit nothing due to the fact that it might be held against me at a later date.” 

They were both laughing by now. Each of them remembering the outraged look Mandy had shot Mickey when the mashed potatoes had gotten stuck in her hair. Her outraged insults were epic, causing all the snooty uppity people there to leave. Luckily Mandy got to keep her job though she was back on review, whatever that meant.

“Just behave and there will be nothing to worry about,” Ian said through his laughter.

“All I can promise is to try. She’s so easy to rile up and it’s fun.”

“Have your fun later then.” 

They got out of the car and headed inside the diner. Ian knew he was going to have to reign Mickey in again, but he wouldn’t have him any other way.

Once they were seated Ian looked around, but didn’t see Mandy anywhere. He knew she had worked tonight, so either she was on break or in the bathroom. Glancing at the brunet seated in front of him, Ian knew just by his posture that he was getting ready to cause some mischief, sighing he picked up the menu and hoped that he would at least get to eat this time before they got thrown out.

Deciding on a hamburger with some fries, something he rarely ate anymore, always conscious about calorie intake, he decided to treat himself for once. Looking up to ask Mickey if he was ready to order, he realized the older boy wasn’t looking at his menu. Instead he was staring across the room with a half smile on his face. Curious as to what caused such a reaction, he turned to see what it was.

“Mick, you promised,” Ian said when he saw Mandy glaring daggers at Mickey.

“I’m not doing anything,” Mickey protested.

“You mean you are not doing anything yet. I really wanna eat a burger, Mickey,” Ian pleaded.

Mickey broke the staring match he currently had going on with Mandy to look into the pleading eyes of the redhead. He knew then that his fun in winding Mandy up was over. He was fast becoming unable to resist giving in to Ian’s puppy eyes. Sighing with regret that his fun was over, he quickly reassured the redhead he would be on his best behavior. 

“If the bitch starts though, all bets are off,” Mickey informed the redhead, not wanting to appear like he was losing all his back bone. Ian smiled and turned to the now awaiting Mandy to make his order.

Twenty minutes later Mandy returned with their order, she sat Ian’s down and easily returned the smile the redhead gave her in thanks. She reluctantly set Mickey’s order in front of him, drawing a laugh out of Ian.

“Don’t worry, Mands he promised to behave. Right,Mick?” Ian asked the scowling brunet.

“He doesn’t know the meaning of the word,” Mandy said, Mickey glared harder at this. “See what I mean Ian? He’s chomping at the bit.”

“Fuck you,” Mickey said, he may have promised Ian he would behave, but he wasn’t going to let the bitch get away with her little digs at him.

Ian shook his head as the insults between the two grew to epic proportions, grabbing up his hamburger he quickly took a bite, if he was getting thrown out again, he wasn't doing it on an empty stomach.


	21. Carl's Fate

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The day of Carl’s trial finally dawned, and Ian was on edge, not being able to physically be there had been weighing on Ian’s mind all day. Clayton had promised to contact him as soon as he knew anything, and didn't do anything to ease his mind. It had been so bad that Sue had even commented on it.

He was finishing up with making sure the back of the rig was stocked with everything they needed, when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He quickly pulled it out and checked the message.

Clayton: Jury has been in deliberation for about twenty minutes now. Just received word that they have come to a decision. Heading back in now. Try not to worry too much, son. I will let you know asap.

Quickly Ian typed back his response hoping to catch Clayton before he went into the courtroom.

Ian: Is that a good thing?

Ian stared at the screen, willing for it to light up with a response, but after about five minutes he knew he wasn’t getting one.

The rest of the afternoon seemed to crawl by, they had gone out on another call shortly after he heard from Clayton, a woman in labor needed transport to the hospital.The call had gone smoothly, thank God. They delivered her into capable hands and returned to base. Still nothing from Clayton though. 

He wondered if Fiona and Lip would contact him, he knew that they wouldn’t though. All communication between him and his older siblings had become next to nonexistent. When Lip found out about he and Mickey, he didn’t waste any time rushing home and reporting to Fiona. The resulting call had been full of accusations of Ian being off his meds and/or manic, and had ended with Ian hanging up on her. He really hated the conflict between him and the two people he had always relied on to support him, but Ian was through letting them dictate his life.

The buzz of his cell phone drew Ian’s attention from his thoughts.

Clayton: Jury came to a decision and it went better than I expected.  
Accessory to murder: not guilty  
Possession of drugs with intent to sale: guilty  
Five years in jail up for parole in three.

Ian read Clayton’s text over twice, before it actually sank in. Carl had to serve five years in jail. His little brother was going to be locked in a cell for five years. The thought of it sent shivers up and down his spine. Guess it could of been worse though, they could’ve found him guilty on the murder charges, it didn’t make him feel any better though.

Ian: How did he take it?

Ian drummed his fingers on the table in front of him while waiting for Clayton to respond.

Clayton: He seemed fine, but then Carl keeps his feelings close to his chest, Fiona and Lip however were a different story.

Reading Clayton’s response, Ian replied quickly.

Ian: What did they do?

Clayton: Accused me of not doing enough. Their accusation got a little loud, attracting the attention of a nearby policeman, he approached and asked them to leave.

Ian wished he could say he was surprised, the truth of the matter was nothing they did surprised him anymore.They had changed so much that Ian barely recognized them. He couldn’t help but hope; however, that the brother and sister who once loved him so unconditionally would come back to him. 

Ian: Sorry, Clayton I should’ve been there.

Clayton: No worries. Listen I have to go sign some paperwork. Will you be home later?

Ian: Don’t know for sure yet. 

Clayton: I haven’t seen much of you in the last few weeks. Maybe you can introduce me to your boyfriend sometime. Bring him to the house for dinner.

Ian’s eyes widened when he read what Clayton sent. Was he ready to introduce Mickey to his dad yet? Clayton wasn’t aware of who was responsible for the beating that had occured, at least he didn’t think Lip had said anything. He was however well aware of who the Milkoviches were, having grown up in South Side himself. Terry had made a real name for himself even back then. So he didn’t know how well Clayton would take the fact that Ian was in a relationship with one.

Ian: Maybe one day soon.

Hoping that would be enough to have the older man back off for awhile, Ian checked the time. Seeing it was well past the end of his shift, he got up and headed towards his locker. He needed to get in touch with Debbie though, she wasn’t sure she was going to go to Carl’s hearing either and he had forgotten to ask Clayton if the younger girl had been there.

Climbing in his jeep, he pulled up Debbie’s number, hitting send he waited for her to pick up.

“Hello”

“Hey, Debs. Just checking in. Have you heard anything about Carl’s hearing yet?” Ian asked, starting the jeep and letting it idle while he talked to Debbie.

“Not, yet no. I hope Carl understands why I didn’t go. I explained everything when I saw him, he said it was ok though. I still feel bad about it, ya know? I just couldn’t sit all day with Fiona glaring daggers at me.”

“Don’t worry about it, Debs. Carl knows how they are. Clayton texted me though. Carl got five years with a chance of parole in three.” 

“That’s good though, right?” Debbie sounded anxious, and Ian rushed to reassure her despite his own feelings on the matter.

“It’s great, Debs. He was found innocent of the murder charges, that’s the main thing.” Ian didn’t know whether he was trying to convince her or himself. But whatever works right?

“True. Are you coming home tonight? I was gonna order pizza.”

The hopeful question made Ian feel guilty. He had only been home one night since Debbie had moved in. Leaving the other girl to adjust to the move on her own, but he didn’t want to be away from Mickey, he needed the security the older boy provided.

“Not to stay, but I can sure use some pizza though. Dinner and a movie with your favorite brother, how does that sound?”

Ian offered already texting Mickey to let him know he would be late getting there.

“Sounds great, Ian. See you when you get here,”

“See you in fifteen, “ Ian said, disconnecting the call. Turning towards home for the first time in weeks.

Ian had gotten back to Mickey’s later than he planned, he tried the door hoping Mickey had left it unlocked. He didn’t want to have to wake the brunet. But he didn’t want to go back home either. Home, Clayton’s garage apartment no longer felt like home to him. It was here in Mickey’s arms that Ian felt like he had finally found a place to call home.

The door was unlocked, silently Ian entered the apartment and took off his shoes. He looked towards the living room and was surprised to see Mandy sitting on the couch watching tv. He stood watching her for just a minute, debating on whether or not to make his presence known. They have gotten a little closer over the last few months, but he still felt a little uncomfortable when they were alone.

Not that he thought she would try anything, but knowing it and feeling it were two entirely different things. Ian’s inner debate was interrupted by Mandy noticing him.

“Hey, Ian. Mickey just went to bed a little while ago. He tried waiting up, but ended up falling asleep on the couch. I woke him up and sent him to bed though.”

Ian nodded, he glanced quickly to where he knew Mickey was in bed waiting on him, before looking back and Mandy. Her eyes were red and puffy. Like she had just been crying, which tugged at Ian’s heart strings just a little. Silently cursing his soft heart, Ian walked further into the room and sat down on the chair across from her, noting the brief look of surprise on her face before it faded. 

“You ok?” Ian asked hesitantly. Not wanting to over step any imaginary lines that were between them. Mandy’s way of dealing with things tended to end with Ian getting hurt,so he was cautious

“Not really,” Mandy said, tears welling up once more. Meeting her eyes he couldn’t help but compare the color to Mickey’s. They were the same bright blue, he loved the color.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ian gave an involuntary wince, his mouth seemed to have a mind of its own tonight. Saying things he wasn’t sure he even wanted to say. Mandy didn’t seem to notice though.

“This guy I’ve been seeing, I caught him with someone tonight.” Mandy’s voice was thick with suppressed tears.

This was fast moving into territories Ian wasn’t comfortable with. Mandy’s love life, or lack thereof, didn’t mesh so well. She had a tendency to handle rejection with the threat of physical violence. The memory of her sending Mickey after him came to mind, he quickly stopped that line of thought now. Things were different this time, for one thing he wasn’t on the receiving end of it. For another Terry Milkovich was nowhere around. So he forced himself to relax and listen as she vented.

“The asshole didn’t even act like he was sorry either. He’s just lucky I didn’t punch him right in his two timing face.” 

Ian looked around wanting nothing more than to escape, but unfortunately it didn’t look like it was happening anytime soon.

Mandy looked at Ian, took in his defensive posture, and shut up. She knew that despite Ian accepting her apology about her part in what happened to him, he still wasn’t comfortable alone with her. Sure they laughed and joked, but it was always with someone close by, mainly it was Mickey. 

“Anyway life’s a bitch and men are assholes,” Mandy joked wanting to pull Ian out of wherever his mind was.  
:\”Not all men,” Ian said, relieved at the slight change of subject.

“Yeah, well all the good ones are gay, so unless I grow a dick between my legs, I’m pretty much fucked.” They both laughed, the tension Ian was feeling starting to fade just a little.

“Well I’m going to head to bed, I felt sorry for myself long enough,” Mandy said. Standing up she stretched and headed towards her own room. Ian followed her as far as Mickey’s door and wished her a goodnight. 

Ian sighed softly as the door closed behind him, glancing at the bed he saw Mickey sleeping peacefully. The sight took his breath away. Silently he undressed and climbed into the bed, trying but failing in his quest not to wake the brunet. He should’ve known better, Mickey always startled awake easily, much like he did. He had gotten better at it though, in Mickey’s arms he tended to sleep deeper. 

“Hey, you. How did it go with your sister?” Mickey asked pulling Ian into his sleep warmed arms. Snuggling closer, Ian softly kissed the bare chest in front of him before answering.

“Good. She seems to be settling in alright. Likes the quiet, makes it easier to do her homework.”

Debbie had opted to finish her senior year online. Not wanting to change schools so close to graduation. Mickey hummed in response already falling back to sleep. Kissing him softly once more, Ian soon followed.


	22. Meet the family

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

Ian woke up to an empty bed, which wasn’t anything new really. Whenever he stayed over when he was working afternoon shifts, Mickey would get up and leave for work before he would. Today they were both off though, so waking up to find the older man gone threw Ian just a little. He got up and went in search of the missing older man.

As he exited the bedroom, he glanced towards the low murmur of voices. Mickey and Mandy were sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart. Mandy jumped up and screamed and Mickey threw the controller, causing Ian to laugh, seems like the older boy is as sore a loser at Mario Kart as he is in paintball.

They both turned and noticed him at the sametime. Mandy’s triumphant smile got even wider making Ian smile back despite the annoyed look on his boyfriends face.

“Yeah, yeah laugh it up assholes. She a cheating hoe bag, is what she is.” 

Mickey’s face was so adorable when he pouted, of course Ian would never tell him that. He walked over to kiss the pout of his lips and then sat down beside him. Grabbing the controller, he motioned for Mandy to start the game up. With a smile she sat down and started the game. 

“Get ready for an ass whipping, Ian,” Mandy taunted.

“Sorry, Mandy you're the wrong Milkovich for that job,” Mickey gave a startled laugh at that statement.

“Oh my God. I so did not need that image in my head, you dick,.” Mandy yelled out, causing both men to laugh.

They started playing the game with Ian as Yoshi and Mandy was Princess Peach. They were on the last lap and Mandy was in the lead, but Ian shot the back of her car with a mushroom causing her to spin out, and he crossed the finish line with a shout.

“You cheated, you ass!” Mandy screamed and demanded a rematch, but Ian declined, he needed to eat and take his morning meds. He left the two siblings to their bickering and went to get some toast.

Later that evening Ian had asked Mickey if he wanted to go with him to get some clothes at his house, he accepted and they were off. Ian could only hope that Clayton wasn’t home too. He really wasn’t in the mood for the extra stress.

Pulling up into the garage, Ian shut off the car and let out a silent sigh in relief that Clayton’s car wasn’t parked in its spot. He glanced over at Mickey wondering what he thought about the place he called home these days, if now in seeing it ,he thinks he sold out too. Just like Lip and Fiona did.

Opening the door, he motioned at Mickey to follow him, and led the way to the stairs which led to the loft above. He could hear the volume of whatever Debbie was watching through the door. He could never understand how she could stand the sound to be that loud when she was in the same room with it. He can’t hear out of one ear and the sound was still too loud. Opening the door he walked in.

He went into the living room Mickey trailing closely behind him to find Debbie on the couch watching what looked to be Charmed reruns.

“Hey, Debs wanna turn that down a little, the people down the block don’t need to hear what you're watching.”

Mickey almost laughed as the redheaded girl damn near jumped out of her skin, before glaring at Ian for scaring her, no doubt.

“Jesus ,Ian you scared the shit outta me,” Debbie exclaimed, holding her hand up to her chest,

When the girl turned around, Mickey could see the resemblance right away. She had Ian’s hair and eye color. She could very well pass for a female Ian. 

“Well if you didn’t have the tv up so loud maybe you would have heard me coming in,” Ian defended himself.

Debbie just gave Ian her famous eye roll, Lord save him from hormonal pregnant teenagers, Ian thought to himself. Debbie was always dramatic, but the farther along in her pregnancy she got the more emotional she became. Ian wanted to bash his head on the wall and he only been there a few minutes.

Debbie opened her mouth to say something when she noticed Mickey standing behind Ian.Her eyes widened before zeroing in on Ian. Seeing the look on her face he knew he wouldn’t get away with not answering her no doubt thousands of questions.

Debbie always knew her brother was gay, but this was the first time she ever knew Ian to bring home a guy. He was always so careful about letting anyone in the family meet his boyfriends. She tried looking around him, curious to see who was responsible for Ian’s good mood lately. She was surprised to see it was none other than Mickey Milkovich. Debbie would’ve never believed the older man was gay, he just didn’t look the part, but then again neither did Ian.

Seeing Debbie’s all too obvious glances at the man behind him, he decided to get the introductions over with.

“Debs, this is Mickey. Mickey, my little sister Debbie.” Ian got out quickly before Debbie had a chance to embarrass him.

Mickey looked at both siblings, a smirk on his face, Ian was staring holes into Debbie and she was looking back with a very familiar smirk playing on her face. The resemblance between these two was uncanny.

“Ohhhh, Mick-ey. He the one you get all moony eyed over?” Debbie’s voice was filled with laughter, and Ian looked ready to sink through the floor.

“I do not get moony eyed! 

“You do so! Last time you were here, all during the movie you kept texting someone, and you were smiling as you answered back. I asked who you were talking to and you got all red in the face and wouldn’t answer. So when you went to the bathroom you forgot your phone, I looked. You were texting Mickey and looking all awestruck.”

“You looked at my phone? You had no right to do that! And for the last time, I wasn’t moony eyed,” Ian said, red faced and wanting to die where he stood. He refused to look at the older boy, not wanting to see his reaction.

“Tell me more, little red, I wanna hear all about Ian and his being moony eyed,” Mickey said, loving every minute of Ian’s reaction. He loved the way he couldn’t seem to keep himself from blushing. 

His comment earned him a look of wounded embarrassment from Ian though, he gave him a soft smile to let him know he meant nothing by the teasing. The afternoon went on much like that, Debbie teasing Ian about his obvious feelings for Mickey, and the older boy enjoying finding out that he wasn’t alone in the overwhelming feelings that were developing between them.

“Alright, alright enough already. I’m going to go get my clothes ready so we can get going. I’m sure you two will have no trouble finding something to talk about,” Ian said, before leaving them to their own devices

After the redhead left the room, it fell into silence, Mickey noticed the change in the air immediately. He braced himself ready for whatever Ian’s sister was going to throw at him.

“Please don’t hurt him,” Debbie said softly, not wanting Ian to overhear what they were talking about, but she had to say this. Ian was always looking out for her, now it was time to return the favor.

Mickey looked at Debbie in surprise, that wasn’t what he had been expecting, at all.

“I don’t plan to,” he said to her just as quietly.

“He’s been through hell you know? He deserves happiness, no one deserves it more than him. But he has had so little of it that I think he has grown used to it. He always looks out for the people he loves, but no one ever looks out for him, ya know?”

Debbie wasn’t telling Mickey anything he didn’t already know though. He kinda already had that one figured out.

“Lip and Fiona are the worst at it though. They have Ian so leary of them and their interference in his life, that he all but stopped coming to the house. He seems happier now though. I think you’re good for him. Please don’t break his heart.”

“Look, normally I would just tell you to fuck off, but since I know where you’re coming from I’ll let it go. I have no intention on doing anything to hurt him. He makes me happy too. So no need to bust my balls, alright?”

Debbie said nothing. She just looked at him, she must have seen something in his expression that satisfied her, and she nodded.

They quickly changed the subject when Ian came back, he asked Mickey if he was ready to go. He nodded and they both said goodbye to Debbie, Ian promising her he would stop by sometime the following week, and they left.


	23. Mickey

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Mickey was finishing up for the day when his cell went off, wondering if it was Ian giving him an update, Debbie had called late last night asking Ian to take her to the hospital. It was the second time this week, and Ian had texted shortly after he got her to the hospital to let him know she was in labor. That had been over six hours ago and he has yet to hear any update from the redhead other than she wasn’t fully dilated yet, whatever the fuck that even meant. Looking at the incoming text, Mickey felt a chill going down his spine. Iggy, he hadn’t heard from him in almost a year now, and to hear from him now couldn’t bring anything good.

Iggy: Terry’s getting out. Early parole.

Those six words totally rocked Mickey’s world. How in the fuck was that asshole getting early parole?

Mickey: How the fuck?

Iggy: Good behavior. 

Good behavior? Like hell Terry is never good. It’s far more likely he bribed or threatened someone into talking for him.

Mickey: Bullshit. No way it was for good behavior.

Iggy: The boys are getting together and Pops wants you there.

There was no fucking way in hell that was happening. He wasn’t going to go to another party celebrating that son of a bitches return. He got out, and he was staying out. He would never risk losing Ian, and getting mixed up with Terry again would do just that.

Mickey: Not fucking happening.

Iggy: You know he will come looking for you, man.

Mickey knew this, but he also knew that he had no idea where Mickey was living, neither him nor Mandy told anyone where they were moving for just this reason.

Mickey:Let him look. The asshole will never find me.

Iggy:Terry’s got connections, you know that.

Mickey was well aware of Terry and his connections, but Mickey no longer ran in those circles, so the chances were slim to none that Terry would ever find him. If by some chance he did? He would put that mother fucker six feet under before he let him anywhere near Ian or Mandy again.

Mickey: Like I said, let him look.

Iggy: It’s ur funeral man. Later.

Mickey’s mind was racing, he knew the first thing to do was warn Mandy, so he shot a text to her.

Mickey: Terry’s getting out.

Mandy: WTF! How?

Mickey: Good behavior

Mandy: Bullshit

Mickey: That’s what I said.

Mandy: What are you going to tell Ian?

Ian! Fuck! Mickey thought. What was he going to tell him, he had to tell him something. The redhead still went to the South Side on occasion, he didn’t even want to think about what would happen if he ran into Terry.

Mickey: I don’t fucking know. 

Mandy: U can’t just not tell him. 

Mandy has a real knack for stating the obvious.

Mickey: Ya, no shit sherlock. Idk, I will have to think of something

Mandy: Well don’t wait too long. He is going to see Lip this weekend, remember?

No, Mickey hadn’t remembered, he tended to block everything Lip related out of his mind. The older Gallagher finally got his shit together a few months back, after a case of alcohol poisoning gave him a hell of a scare. Checked himself into rehab and everything, in the process he realized what a shitty brother he was being to Ian, he apologized and of course the softhearted redhead forgave him. So they have been taking steps to mend their relationship.

Mickey thought it was all bullshit, but he didn’t have the heart to say it to Ian. Fiona was still in there throwing a wedge between them with her “knows what’s best for everyone” attitude.

Mickey: I’ll take care of it.

Mickey jumped when the phone suddenly started ringing, seeing Ian’s sleepy face fill the screen he smiled.

“Hey, Red.”

“It’s a girl, Mick! And she’s beautiful, she looks just like Deb’s when she was a baby.”

The thug smiled at the excitement in the redhead’s voice, he can picture the big smile on his face. Ian had made leaps and bounds in his recovery in eight months they had been together. Sure he still suffered from nightmares, but they were few and far between. And he still suffers from panic attacks on occasion, but over all, he was doing great. He just hoped the news of Terry’s release did not set him back.

“Looks like you then?” Mickey told him, loving the half laugh that Ian gave.

“What? No. She looks like Debs.”

“Exactly my point, Giggles. Little red looks like you so-”

“Whatever Mick. You gonna stop by? See the newest Gallagher? You know Debs wants you to right?” Ian sounded anxious, his words rushed, setting off alarm bells in Mickey. 

“Everything alright?” he asked.

“Ya, everythings fine, why wouldn’t it be? Debs just had her baby and everyone is here.”

Translation Fiona is there and shit is going down, Ian can’t say it, but he needs Mickey there for support.

“On my way,man.”

Damn that bitch, she just can’t let anyone enjoy something without putting a damper on it. Today was Debbie’s day and she had to make it all about her.

The ride to the hospital seemed like it was never going to end, the L was crowded with people just getting off work, the smell of stale sweat thick in the air. Someone’s baby had been screaming since Mickey got on. His nerves were already shot and he wasn’t even there yet.

The very thought of seeing Fiona again after their initial disaster of a meeting had Mickey on edge. The meeting had been an accident really. They had been over at Ian’s hanging out with Debbie watching movies, something that had become somewhat of a tradition over the last three months, when someone had started pounding on the door and demanding to be let in.

Both redheads seemed to freeze then look at one another with dread. Mickey didn’t like that look on them so he had gotten up to get rid of whoever was at the door. Before he even had the door all the way open, the person on the other side shoved her way in.

To say she was livid was an understatement, her eyes were shards of glass. She had come in spouting off about missed dinners and responsibilities, and he watched as the man he loved and the girl he was starting to look at as a good friend, shrink into themselves. Mickey saw red. 

“Hey you wanna back off just a bit?” Mickey said and the brunette turned her icy eyes on him.

“Just who the fuck are you?” Fiona asked, hands on her hips.

“Names Mickey, I was invited, unlike you,” Mickey said,eyebrows raised in challenge.

“This is my brother’s house, I don’t need to be invited. Now kindly fuck right off.”  
Mickey rubbed his thumb across his lips a sure sign of his rising anger,

“Don’t think so, Princess. I won’t be leaving unless Ian asks me to.”

It had only escalated from there. She had gotten louder in her upset, and when she recognized him, she went completely postal. Ian had gone extremely pale and started to shake. Mickey had never wanted to hit a woman so badly in his life. Clayton’s arrival had saved her though. When he took in the scene, his eyes taking in the visual upset of Ian, he had demanded that Fiona leave. After she had left, Mickey had rushed over to the upset redhead and slowly got him to calm down. When he looked over to where the older redhead had been standing, he was gone, along with Debbie. He heard them murmuring in the hall though, so Little Red was filling Ian’s dad in on the situation, leaving him to calm down his own redhead.

Needless to say this wasn’t going to be a fun visit, but Ian sounded desperate, and he could never deny him the comfort his presence seemed to bring.


	24. A New Gallagher

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Mickey hated hospitals, they never represented anything good to him, but here he was walking through the halls in search of a familiar redhead. He would have asked someone but apparently this floor was a fucking ghost town, there wasn’t a single nurse to be found. The sounds of the screams echoing through the halls weren’t helping matters either. Never has he been happier that he was gay and wouldn’t be subjected to the sounds close up.

Spotting a nurse a little farther down the corridor Mickey headed over to her before she too disappeared into the ether.

“Hey, I’m looking for Gallagher,” Mickey said, voice raised slightly, hoping the nurse could hear him. Which she must have because she stopped and turned to face Mickey, a scowl on her face, he already knew by her look that she was going to be less than helpful.

“Do you know the patients first name, you are aware this is the maternity floor right?” 

He was spot on, the woman was a real bitch. He forced a smile despite wanting to tell this woman exactly what he thought of her. He had to be on his best behavior though. Getting thrown out wouldn’t help Ian.

“Debbie Gallagher, redhead, just gave birth here.” Short and to the point, ‘cause if he said anything more it would result in him telling this snooty bitch to fuck off.

“Oh yes, Miss Gallagher. Her family has been asked to leave the patient to rest, I do believe they are in the waiting room though, down at the end of the hall on the right”

Mickey knew there was more to the story, the womans face soured even more if that was possible, he walked past her not bothering to even thank her, his attention on getting to Ian and making sure he was ok.

As he drew closer to the room in question, he heard the sound of raised voices, and knew that he was going to be walking into a real shitshow. 

“Jesus, Fiona she just gave birth, can you not do this right now!” Lip whisper shouted.

“When will be a good time then, Lip? You and Ian aren’t helping her out by-”

“By what, Fi? Letting her make her own decisions? She is eighteen and an adult, you can’t force her to do this.” 

Mickey knew that voice anywhere, Ian sounded worn out, like he had been repeating the same thing for awhile now. 

“And you can’t expect her to be able to do it herself. Jesus, Ian, you can’t even make any right decisions and you're twenty!”

Mickey started walking faster at that statement, like hell was that bitch sinking her claws into Ian again. 

“Fiona!” Lip said, hoping to shut this down before it got out of control.

“No, Lip let her talk. Let her tell me all about my bad decisions. Go ahead, Fiona carry on, it’s not like you’re the queen of good decision making, right?”

Mickey walked in and took in the scene before him. Fiona was standing in her ever present holier art thou stance, hands on her hips. Lip and Ian were facing off in front of her. No one noticed his arrival; however, they were too busy glaring at one another.

Ian was the only one he was worried about and he can see right through the cover he was hiding behind. He was pale and his hands were shaking, he couldn’t see his eyes though he would bet his next pay check they were unfocused. He recognized the signs though, Ian was heading down the fast track of a panic attack. He couldn’t allow that to happen. Before he could announce his presence however Fiona noticed him. She grimaced at the sight of him, she apparently didn’t want to see him anymore than he wanted to see her.

“Well, Ian here is one of your bad decisions now,” Fiona said, sarcasm coating her voice. Mickey flipped the bitch off, before walking over to stand beside the relieved looking redhead.

“Mickey is the best decision I have made in a long time. How’s Jimmy/Steve doing lately, Fiona? No wait, his name is Jack now right?” Fiona flinched, glaring daggers at the redhead. Ian had always hit well below the belt when cornered.

“Enough you guys. We’re going to get thrown out of here. Fiona, let’s go smoke a cigarette, alright.” Lip said. He looked over to where Mickey was standing beside Ian and addressed him. 

“Can you work on calming him down?” he asked, gesturing towards the fuming Ian, Mickey raised his eyebrow at the almost civil way Gallagher addressed him. He didn’t bother to answer though, he just reached out and tugged on Ian’s hand. Intent on getting the ginger some food.

Ian said nothing in the elevator, he just watched as the numbers lit up for each floor. He had never been more happy to see someone as when Mickey walked through the door. He could feel himself spiraling with each word that Fiona uttered. Debbie had been so happy, holding little Franny and smiling, Ian had been anxiously awaiting his turn to hold her, when the door had burst open and Fiona had rushed in, followed by a sheepish LIp.

Ian had foolishly texted LIp when Debbie had finally given birth, Lip had shown a real interest in Debs and the baby lately, even taking her to some of her appointments when Ian had to work. He never dreamed that he would tell Fiona.

“Fiona didn’t even look at the baby. She just demanded that Debs put the kid up for adoption. The kid, that was her exact words, she didn’t even know she was a girl. The look on Debbie’s face broke my heart. I don’t know where the sister went that loved and raised us, Mick. It’s like she woke up one day and decided she hated us all.”

Mickey heard the break in the redhead’s voice, and knew he was barely holding back tears. He sighed in relief when the elevator doors opened, stepping out he looked for Ian’s jeep. Spotting it he headed over, accepted the keys Ian offered and unlocked it. He climbed in the drivers side and closed the door behind him.

“Let’s get something to eat, then we can talk.” Ian nodded and sat back to watch the scenery pass by. Suddenly more tired than he had been in a long time.

They sat in a cozy little diner a few blocks from the hospital, waiting on the waitress to bring them their food. Mickey kept a close eye on Ian, watching the tension slowly fade away to a bone deep tiredness. The redhead already had so much on his plate that he didn’t know how he was going to handle the news of Terry’s pending release.

“Sorry for that back there,” Ian said tiredly, gesturing towards the direction of the hospital.Mickey looked surprised at the apology, why was he apologizing for needing him? He never had to apologize for that.

“What in the fuck are you apologizing for, Red? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Maybe not, but you didn’t ask to get drawn into yet another Gallagher stand off,” Ian said. Looking directly into Mickey’s eyes for the first time since he had shown up.

“Hey, man, you haven’t seen a Milkovich stand off yet. Guns come out, it’s not pretty.”

Ian gave a half smile, he had witnessed plenty of arguments between Mickey and Mandy, there was never a gun in sight though.

“I just don’t understand it, Mickey. How much Fiona has changed, I don’t recognize her anymore.” 

“I don’t know, man. A woman's mind is a mystery, why do you think I like cock?” Mickey asked, a grin on his face.

Ian laughed in agreement. He agreed totally with the older man, being gay was better than trying to figure out what made a woman tick, but then again some men were real mysteries too.

“So when does little red and the bean get to go home then?”

“If Debbie ever hears you calling Franny “Bean” she will murder you in your sleep, Mick,” Ian said, laughing.

“No she won’t,” Mickey said.

“Keep telling yourself that, Mick. I don’t know when she will be coming home, Fiona came in before the doctor did, and you know what happened after.” Mickey nodded before taking a bite of the hamburger the waitress put down in front of him.

“Eat up,Gallagher, you're going to need the strength for when we get home.” With that they both dug in, both thinking about all the fun things they were going to be doing to each other that night.

The ride back to the hospital wasn’t as tense, Ian refused to think about anything Fiona would say when they got there, knowing there would no doubt be more fighting, but hoping by some stroke of luck Fiona would just let everything go for awhile.

Parking the car in the parking garage, they both exited and headed towards the elevators, Mickey watching the redhead closely for any signs of his earlier upset returning. Ian noticed the frequent glances and smiled to himself. Mickey was always looking out for him, from the moment they had met, he stepped up and knew just what to do to calm him down. For the first time in his life Ian wasn’t scared to rely fully on another person. To know that there was someone who cared about him enough to stand up for him, and to take a step back when he needed that too. He was falling hard for Mickey, and he didn’t want to do anything to stop his descent.

Mickey was trying to be discreet in his worry over the redhead and knew he was failing miserably, the smile on Ian’s face proved he knew Mickey was watching him, and he didn’t seem to mind him doing it. In fact he seemed to be quite content to let him.

“Do you think she will still be there?” Mickey asked, breaking the silence.

“Fiona? I can’t see her leaving. She still feels she has a point to make. She is worse now that Lip isn’t backing her every word. It’s not something she is used to. Fiona says jump, Lip asks how high. Lately Lip has even been questioning some of Fiona’s decisions. Which has made her even more on edge.”

“She needs to wake up and realize she can’t control everything,” Mickey said, hoping he wasn’t overstepping and imaginary lines.

“Fiona always had control issues. They have just gotten worse,” Ian said, getting off the elevator and heading straight to Debbie’s room, Mickey following closely behind.

.  
Debbie was alone when they entered the room, she appeared to be asleep, the baby resting comfortably on her chest. Ian motioned for Mickey to be quiet, and then walked a little closer to the slumbering duo. Motioning Mickey once more, this time to come for a closer look at the newest Gallagher.

He watched as Mickey’s face softened at the sight of the baby, he couldn’t blame him really, she was adorable. Her hair was the same shade as Debbie’s, but her eyes were a deep blue. Ian hoped they wouldn’t change but knew they probably would. Ian already loved his little niece so much, he just knew she would wrap him around her little finger.

“Told you she looked like you. Her hair is the same shade as yours,” Mickey said softly.

“Debbie’s hair is red too, Mick,” Ian said, rolling his eyes.

“Not that shade, man. That is all you,” Mickey said, making the redhead blush.

“Could you two argue somewhere else please? I’m trying to sleep here,” Debbie said.

Ian looked over and met her amused eyes, the faker wasn’t sleeping. He should’ve realized it right away, Debs always snored, and she hadn’t been when they came in.

“Hey, Debs. How are you feeling?” Ian asked, before running a gentle hand over the newborn’s face.

“Are you sure it’s me you’re worried about, Ian?” Debbie asked, amused that despite talking to her, Ian’s attention hadn’t left Frannie since he got there.

“What- “ Ian asked, seeing the teasing glint in Debbie’s eyes he blushed, “Fuck off.”

Mickey watched the interaction between the two siblings and smiled, Ian’s love for the younger girl and her baby was so apparent in his expression. The blush on Ian’s face was just a bonus.

Debbie laughed, then looked over, seeing Mickey standing behind Ian. His expression soft as he gazed at her brother. She was happy that Ian found someone who would care about him as much as he deserves.

“You did good, Little Red,” Mickey said.

“Thanks, Mickey.”

“Where are the others?” Ian asked.

“Lip stuck his head in the door a little while ago, said that Fiona had to work. He’s going to be stopping by later though.” 

Ian was relieved, he really didn’t want to deal with Fiona right now. He sat down in one of the chairs by the bed motioning Mickey to the other one. They talked quietly amongst themselves until visiting hours were over and they had to leave.

Later that evening Ian and Mickey were sitting on the couch, watching a movie, but Ian’s attention wasn’t what was on the tv. He was engrossed in the sensation of Mickey’s mouth and what it was currently doing. Never had anything felt so good to Ian, the only thing better than Mickey giving him a blow job was being inside of him. He could feel the orgasm building up until he saw stars with the pleasure of his release.

He reached down and pulled the older boy up to him, he hungrily kissed him, loving his taste mixed in with the uniqueness that was all Mickey. As they kissed, he slowly stroked the older man’s erection, causing Mickey to groan in pleasure. 

“Fuck, Gallagher that feels so fucking good.” 

Ian flipped Mickey over onto his back, smirking at the glare he received, then he slowly kissed and bit down the older boy’s body. Then back up again causing Mickey to groan in frustration.

“What the fuck-” The complaint was cut off when Mickey felt the tip of Ian’s finger carress his asshole. 

“Patience, Mick. I got ya,” Ian said, rubbing his slowly stiffening cock against the older man. 

“Hurry the fuck up, asshole,” Mickey groaned impatiently.

The redhead laughed before thrusting hard into the older boy, both groaning at the pleasure the movement gave them. Ian stopped, giving Mickey barely a moment to adjust before he started thrusting in and out of him hard, keeping constant pressure on the older man’s prostate.Despite already cumming Ian could feel his orgasm building, the noises and movements Mickey was making turning him on even more.

“Jesus, I’m gonna cum, Mick.”

Mickey knew it and wasn’t too far behind, he drew the younger boy down into a kiss, and groaned when Ian suddenly was stroaking him in time with his thrusts. They both tumbled over the edge with a shout. 

Ian kissed the older man softly before pulling out. Then he grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch, pulling Mickey into his arms and covering them. They both fell into an exhausted sleep, neither of them hearing Mandy come in and a disgusted snort before going into her room and slamming the door. Vowing to pay the bastards back for the little fuck fest she walked in on. All the bleach in the world would not be able to get the image of Mickey getting drilled on their living room couch. No matter how hot the person was doing the drilling, she never wanted to see it again.


	25. Ian and Mickey

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

The next morning Mickey woke up with a pleased smile on his face. After fucking then falling asleep on the couch, they woke up went to bed and did the whole thing over again, twice. Life was really treating Mickey good lately, and if Terry wasn’t getting out he’d say his life was damn perfect. He was getting out though and he had to find a way to tell Ian, and more importantly, keep him safe. Neither of those two tasks were going to be easy though.

Ian was leaps and bounds away from the guy he had helped through a panic attack the first day they saw each other, he was so much stronger. Things that used to send him spiraling into self doubt and panic attacks were few and far between these days. He still startled easily, and he still had the nightmares, though not as much. He feared that Terry’s release would put an end to the peace the younger man seemed to be finding.

The other thing that has been bothering Mickey, though he never worried about it before, was the fact that Ian was deaf in one ear. He lost count the number of times Ian had startled when he suddenly appeared on his left side. Despite calling his name multiple times, when Mickey had touched his left shoulder, Ian had damned near jumped out of his skin. He shuttered to think what would happen if Terry were to approach Ian from the left.

It wasn’t something they ever really talked about, he had found out by accident one day. They had been playing Mario Kart and he was sitting on Ian’s left, he remembered getting pissed that Ian was ignoring him, so he had paused the game ready to rip into the redhead, when he looked over in surprise at him. When Mickey had shouted at him for ignoring him, Ian had apologized, then reluctantly told him about his deafness.

He had never hated Terry more than he did at that moment. Terry Milkovich had literally ruined Ian’s life, and for what? Because he was gay. He knew then that the old man being in prison was the only thing that had saved the old fuck from meeting the busy end of Mickey’s glock.

Movement beside him drew him out of his thoughts, he looked over and met sleepy green eyes, he loved waking up with Ian. He was seriously thinking about asking the redhead to move in with him. He was here ninety percent of the time anyway ,so he might as well make it official. They had the weekend to themselves, they were going to visit Debbie later, but other than that, the whole weekend was theirs. He would ask him sometime before the weekend was over. For now though, he needed his fix of Gallagher kisses. Leaning in he kissed the smiling lips of the man lying beside him. 

“Hmm. Morning, Mick,” Ian said after they broke the kiss, he pulled the older man closer to him, loving the way he melted into his embrace. Things have been so hectic the last few months that they barely had the time to just be together.

They decided to concentrate on them this weekend though. e checked in with Debbie to make sure Lip was ok with taking her and the baby home, if they were released today. Then it was just him and Mickey spending quality time together.

“Morning, Firecrotch.” Mickey said, gently rubbing the redhead’s stomach. Inching his way down towards the morning chub Ian was sporting. Grasping it in his hand he started pumping, drawing a pleasured groan from the younger man. Smiling wickedly up at him, Mickey started kissing his way down, loving the raspy moans it was producing.

“Oh, god, Mick just like that,” Ian moaned, needing to feel those pink lips around him, like he needed the air he breathed.

The older boy laughed quietly before sucking him in right down to the root. He craved the younger man’s taste so he doubled his efforts, withdrawing only to suck him all the way in once more. Ian was moaning, thrusting up into the warm wetness. 

Normally he was so careful, not wanting to hurt Mickey, knowing he was a little more than average in size, but the older boy encouraged him. So his fingers grasped the dark locks of Mickey’s hair and he thrust up into his mouth. His orgasm building up, he was ready to burst. Groaning his vision whitened as his world exploded in pleasure.

Mickey groaned as Ian’s release coated his throat, licking the tip making sure not to waste a single drop. Ian pulled him up to him, kissing him passionately. He rolled the older man over onto his back, determined to return the pleasure he just recieved.

He kissed down Mickey’s stomach, bypassing his leaking erection, he sucked on the older man’s sack, before licking down to his twitching hole. He licked around the puckered entrance before thrusting his tongue deep inside. Mickey yelled out, widened his legs even further to let the redhead have more room. Ian continued his assault on the older man’s hole adding a finger as well. Then he wrapped his other hand around Mickey’s dick, pumping him in time to the thrusts of his tongue.

Mickey was losing his mind, nobody ever made him feel like this, he groaned loudly when Ian’s finger brushed his prostate. His finger, a constant pressure on the nub, was sending Mickey into a fast building orgasm.

“Oh, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” Mickey shouted, then it all stopped. “What the fuck,Galla-”

The complaint cut off abruptly, when Ian thrust into him hard. The older boy screamed, causing Ian to chuckle.

“I got ya, Mick. I know just what you need.” And he proceeded to roughly fuck Mickey into the mattress. The bed creaked and groaned from the force of it. The older boy wrapped his legs tightly around Ian’s waist pushing back onto Ian as Ian thrust forward.

The pleasure building in both of them until they reached the breaking point. Orgasming minutes after the other.

Ian pulled out of Mickey, carefully. Knowing the older man was probably a little sore, he hadn’t really taken the time to prepare him like he usually did. He was too anxious to sink into him.

“Now that is how every morning should start,” Mickey said, smiling at Ian. 

“Easy for you to say. I think my dick is broken,” Ian said, groaning softly at the soreness of his dick.

Mickey laughed at the grimace on the redhead's face.

“It was worth it though,” Mickey said.

“Totally worth it,” Ian agreed. Kissing him softly. 

“Hey, Assholes mind keeping it down in there, some of us worked last night,” Mandy screamed, banging angrily on the wall. Ian looked at Mickey and they both busted out laughing. 

“Sorry, Mands,” Ian hollored.

“Fuck that. Bitch deserves it. Do you know how many times she kept me awake fucking whatever asshole she was seeing at the time? I’m not apologizing for shit,” Mickey said, flipping off the wall in between them.

Ian laughed, loving the disgruntled look on Mickey’s face. He was amazing and Ian was so lucky to have him in his life. Something he thanked his lucky stars for every day.

Sitting up, he reached over to grab a cigarette and his phone off the end table. Lighting the cigarette, he took a drag before handing it to an impatient Mickey. Then he checked his phone for messages. There were two, one from Lip saying that Debbie was getting released later in the day, and that he would make sure she gets home. The other was from Sue, congratulating him on becoming an Uncle. He responded to both before putting his phone back.

“So Lip is taking Debs home later, and Sue congratulated me for becoming an uncle. That leaves my day all nice and clear, Milkovich. So what shall we do?”

Mickey knew the look in the redhead’s eye, and as much as he wanted to there was no way he could take that monster he calls a dick just yet. He gently kissed the redhead before shoving him off the bed. He laughed at the surprised look on the ginger’s face, before he could move though, Ian pulled him down off the bed with a thunk. 

“Ouch, you fucker. Your skinny ass is not a good buffer between me and the floor,” Mickey groaned, and rubbed at his elbow that hit the side of the bed frame in his rapid descent to the floor.

“Tell that to my aching back, Mick,” Ian sassed.

“Fuck you and your back. Shower then breakfast alright with you, tough guy?”

“Depends. You gonna make breakfast? And showering together saves on water.” 

“First, you and I both know we take a shower together no one is getting clean. So you get a shower while I start the bacon, then while I’m showering you can finish with cooking the eggs. Sound fair?” Mickey asked.

“Throw in some pancakes and you got yourself a deal. I worked up quite an appetite last night,” Ian said, heading for the bathroom, ignoring the half hearted complaints coming from the thug.

Mickey watched the naked ginger walk away, thinking to himself, he hated to see him go, but fuck if it wasn’t nice to watch him walk away. He groaned at the cornyness of his thoughts. Gallagher was turning him into a major sap, and he was loving every minute of it. 

Rising to his feet he headed off to put the bacon on and to make the pancakes his ginger had demanded. God, he was whipped for a six foot ginger giant with a 9 inch dick that totally rocked his world. His younger self would kick his ass for being so soft. But his older self? Well he was smiling while doing so.

Ian walked into the kitchen, towel wrapped firmly around his waist, he smiled at the sight of a naked Mickey busy bustling around in the kitchen.

“Mandy would get an eyeful right about now,” Ian said, laughing when the older boy jumped and cursed at his arrival.

“Hey, fuck you,” Mickey said, rubbing the tender skin on his stomach, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to fry bacon naked. “Mandy will sleep for hours, man. Go get dressed so I can take my shower. These eggs ain’t gonna fry themselves you know?”

“Sir, yes, Sir,” Ian said, saluting Mickey, dodging the piece of bacon Mickey threw at him, then disappearing into Mickey’s room to get dressed.

Mickey laughed softly at the redhead. Ian brought happiness into Mickey’s otherwise dark and dreary life. His laughter was the balm to Mickey's soul. He had given up on ever finding happiness. Fucked for life, was his motto, now he had something to look forward to. Everyday was a joy. Now Terry’s release was threatening to destroy that happiness. He couldn’t let that happen. Ian deserved to shine, he didn’t want to see those bright green eyes clouded by pain once again. Not when the shadows were just starting to fade, sure there were moments, but they were few and far between lately. With the exception of what happened yesterday. Ian has been doing good. 

They had almost finished breakfast when Mandy came stumbling out of her room, Ian looked at Mickey eyebrow raised.

“What? She usually sleeps all day, man.” Mickey defended himself.

On hearing this Mandy glowered at them. 

“Maybe Mandy would be able to sleep if you two would keep it the fuck down! Jesus, first I walk in on a total fuck fest going on on my couch, which you two are scrubbing clean. Then I deal with a fucking bed banging against my wall at fuck o’clock in the morning.” 

Mandy ranted and her face was getting red, Mickey and Ian exchanged glances before bursting out in full belly laughs.

“It’s not funny, assholes. I’m scarred for life thanks to you two fucks. Would it have killed you to fuck in the bedroom like a normal person?”

“I’m s-sorry, Mands. Really it won’t happen again,” Ian sputtered between laughs.

“Fuck that. If I wanna bang in the living room, I’ll bang in the living room. I walked in on you plenty of times,” Mickey said.

Mandy flipped Mickey off before going into the bathroom and slamming the door.  
Mickey glared at the closed door, before turning to a giggling Ian.

“Ok, Giggles pack it in. We got shit to do today,” Mickey said, smacking the giggling ginger softly on the back of his head.

“Sorry, Mick. It’s just her facial expression. Oh, god,” Ian said, before grabbing his stomach, his body hunched over with helpless laughs.

Mickey smiled at the giddy ginger, he was beautiful like this, happy skin glowing with laughter. He never wanted his happiness to end. He knew the redhead had very little to laugh about the last few years, knowing that he was in some small way responsible for making him forget everything and just enjoy life, made Mickey feel special in a way he never thought he would.

It was empowering, he knew he was going to have to tell Ian about Terry soon, but not now. 

“You done?” Mickey asked when Ian's laughter faded. The younger man nodded, biting his quivering lip. “Then let’s get out of here.” 

“You never said where we were going,” Ian said following Mickey out the door, closing it behind them.

“I thought we would head over to the shooting range. See if you still got it.” 

“You feel like getting shown up again, Mick?” Ian asked, a teasing note coloring his voice.

“Fuck off. Your ass distracted me.” 

“Sure it was my ass, Mick?” Ian teased.

“Fuck off, “ Mickey said. “Those jeans left nothing to the imagination, red.” 

Ian laughed, smacking the older boy on the ass he took off running.

“Last one to the car owes the other one a blowjob.”

“You are on, Army,” Mickey hollored, giving chase, but not trying too hard. Sucking Ian’s dick was one of his all time favorite things to do.


	26. And It All Came Crashing Down

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Ian followed Mickey inside the apartment, shutting the door behind them. The whole day had been chock full of Mickey goodness and it wasn’t over yet. This was just what they had needed: a day full of fun and just quality time together. He came to an abrupt stop, almost running into Mickey, wondering what could have caused the older boy to stop so suddenly he stepped around the older boy only to wish he had stayed where he was. Sitting on the couch talking to Mandy was none other than Iggy Milkovich.

The room began to spin, and he felt like he was going to pass out. Mickey’s voice, though faint, was the only thing keeping him on his feet.

“What the fuck are you doing here, Igg?” Mickey asked angrily, not yet noticing the reaction coming from the redhead beside him.

“Mick-” Mandy said, trying to get the older boys attention, having noticed Ian’s sudden fight with staying upright.

“Not now, Mandy. Well, fuck head?” Mickey said, glaring at the now standing Iggy.

“Mick I-” Iggy started to say, but Mickey was beyond pissed and wasn’t letting him talk.

“How the fuck did you even find us, huh? You better start talking or I’m gonna-”

“Mickey!” Mandy yelled, drawing Mickey’s furious glare at her.

“What?”

Mandy said nothing, just gestured to the panic ridden Ian, the older boy turned and cursed. He quickly reached his hand out, intending on pulling the redhead to him. But the sudden movement caused Ian to shy away and back slowly towards the door.

Ian stared at the image of his nightmare coming to life. His vision was narrowing and his forehead was soaked with sweat. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest, and he needed out of there, right now.

“Fuckin christ,” Mickey cursed, slowly walking towards the panicked redhead, hoping he would be able to calm him down as easily as he had before. Then he was going to kill Iggy.

“Ian, listen to me. It’s alright, I’m here. Nothing is going to happen to you, but you gotta calm down, tough guy. Can you do that for me?”

Slowly inching his way closer, Mickey carefully put both his hands on either side of the redheads face, drawing panicked unfocused green eyes to his. His thumb gently rubbed the pale cheek.

“Can you look at me, Ian? Focus on me ok?” Mickey kept his voice soft, whispering soothing words of comfort, the redhead’s eyes slowly cleared, green meeting concerned blue. Mickey let out the breath he had been holding, and then he gently clasped Ian hand in his making sure to keep Ian’s eyes focused on him. He walked slowly towards his bedroom, intending on getting Ian away from Iggy. 

The redhead let himself be led, not a word of protest, which proved just how shaken the ginger was. Mickey was going to kill Iggy - twice. How did the son of a bitch even know where he lived? He made sure no one knew where he and Mandy moved to, knowing that the more people who knew where they lived the more chance of Terry finding them. That was something he didn’t ever intend to happen, especially now. 

Ian’s meltdown at seeing Iggy was scary, he didn’t want to witness what would happen if he ran across Terry.

“Sit down here, Ian,“ Mickey said, urging the younger boy to sit on his bed. Once Ian was seated, Mickey bent down to remove Ian’s shoes and socks, then went one step further and helped him strip down to his boxers. Before silently removing his own. He climbed onto the bed, lying down he pulled Ian down into his arms. Kissing the ginger locks softly, he ignored the wetness pooling on his chest, he just pulled the unresisting Ian closer and gently rubbed up and down his back.

He would deal with Iggy after he made sure Ian was going to be alright. No way was he going to leave him alone to deal with this on his own. He cursed his idiot brother for showing up at all, let alone unannounced. What a tragic end to such a great day. Sighing, he kissed Ian on the head, hoping this wouldn’t set Ian’s recovery on a rebound.

“He was there,” Ian said softly.

“What’s that, mumbles?” Mickey asked just as softly.

“Iggy. He was there, with Terry.” The words were clearer, but not any louder.

Mickey silently cursed, this is something they never really talked about. Ian had never really confirmed nor denied that Terry was responsible for the beating. It was a silent understanding, and Mickey was alright with that. If Ian gave him details he didn’t know if he could stop himself from going out and beating Iggy to death before hunting down Terry to do the same. But he would never stop Ian from talking, if the redhead needed to tell him he would listen, no matter how much it hurt to hear.

“He was the one who kicked me in the head, I don’t remember how many times, but it was at least twice. Things started to get a little blurry by then, but I knew it was him.” Tears were running freely down Ian’s face soaking Mickey's chest.

Mickey kept silent, but didn’t stop caressing Ian’s back. His eyes full of fiery hatred, vowing to make the son of a bitch pay.

“I heard them talking and laughing, it was a blessing when I passed out, hoping for a merciful death.”

“Jesus,Ian,” Mickey said, softly kissing him on the head. “I’m so sorry.”

At his apology Ian finally raised his head and looked at him.

“Don’t be sorry, Mick. You didn’t do anything. Not then, but now? You're the only thing keeping me together. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“That’s not something you will ever have to worry about. I got you, Ian,” Mickey assured him, kissing him softly. He silently urged him to lie back down, hoping he would be able to relax enough to get a little sleep. Mickey had some business to take care of.

“Who the fuck was that?” Iggy asked Mandy after Mickey left the room.

“Don’t you recognize him, asshole? You forget everyone you and Dad beat the shit out of?” Mandy asked angrily.

Iggy just looked at her, confused as to what she was talking about. He has helped his Dad on so many beatdowns, how was he supposed to remember who they were?

Before he could say anything more, Mickey’s bedroom door opened and shut quietly, Mickey was livid, and it showed by the clenched fists hanging down at his sides. He stalked angrily over to where they were standing and shoved the unsuspecting Iggy, hard, sending him sprawling back onto the couch behind him.

“What the fuck, Mickey?” Iggy shouted, jumping back up to get in the younger man's face.

“Do yourself a favor, asshole and start explaining why you're here. Before I beat the ever loving shit right out of you,” Mickey hissed, trying not to yell, not wanting to risk waking Ian.

“Can’t I just stop by and see my little brother and sister?”

“Not when this is the first time in over three fucking years. Why are you really here?” Mickey asked.

“Dad’s out,” Iggy announced.

“Why the fuck would I care if that asshole is out?” Mickey said, but he was really freaking out, if Iggy knew where he lived did Terry know too?

“He’s been asking about you and Mandy, wanting to know where you are.”

Mickey glanced over towards Mandy, she looked scared, but was trying not to show it.

“Fuck him. I want nothing to do with that asshole, and you better not have told him where I live either,” Mickey said.

“I didn’t tell him shit, Mick. It only took me a few days to find out, how long do you think it will take him?” Iggy asked him.

“Yeah, well I don’t float around the same circles as Terry does, so I should be good.”

“Keep telling yourself that, man. Terry has irons in a lot of fires you know? That boss of yours? He is who told me, who is to say he won’t tell the old man?”

Holy fuck, he should’ve have realized that working in a garage in South Side wasn’t the smartest thing to do if he wanted to keep his where abouts away from Terry.

“Why don’t you let me worry about that, hmm?” Mickey said.

“And Red?” Iggy asked, and Mickey was on him, his hand wrapped around the taller boy's throat.

“What about him? Huh? You touch one hair in his head and they will be finding pieces of you for years, comprende? That includes Terry, you better make damn sure he stays the fuck away, man.”

Iggy tried to break the grip around his neck, but Mickey wasn’t easing up at all. Tightening his hold, warningly, before he released him with a shove, Mickey watched with cold eyes as the older man struggled to catch his breath.

“Jesus, Mick. Let up will ya? I don’t even know the fucker.”

“Bullshit.” Mandy broke her silence for the first time since the announcement of Terry’s release.

“I’m with Mands here, Iggy. I call the bullshit card. In fact, I say there is something you’re not telling me here too. So what aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing, Mick. I swear there’s nothing going on.”

“Hey, asshole I’m not stupid, alright. I know there is something you’re hiding, so start talking. You think that I’ve gone soft. Is that it? You think just because I’m not out there cracking skulls anymore that I forgot how? You’d be wrong, so don’t test me.”

Mickey was trying not to beat the information out of the idiot talking in front of him, but he was slowly losing it.

“Alright, alright already. Fuck. Terry came home the other night, drunk out of his mind and trashing the place. Screaming about how he was going to find you and beat the queer right out of you, and then he would make you watch as he finished the job on Gallagher.”

Mickey flew into Iggy grabbing him up by his collar he drew back and punched him twice, then he forced himself to back off wanting to hear the rest of whatever Iggy was saying.

“How did he find out about me and Ian, Igg?”

“Frank Gallagher was at The Alibi.”

“Fucking Frank, I should kill that asshole. What kind of father rats out his own kid?” Mickey asked, not really expecting an answer but getting one anyway.

“Except he’s not my dad is he, not like that would stop him anyway,” Ian said softly, in all the comotion, no one noticed the redhead entering the room. He walked towards where Mickey was standing, giving Iggy a wide berth and keeping a wary eye on him. He let out a sigh of relief when he reached Mickey’s side, throwing a grateful glance and Mandy when she moved closer to them, keeping a buffer between Ian and Iggy.

“Thought you were sleeping,” Mickey said, smiling softly at the redhead.

“I can never sleep when you're not there,” Ian told him.

“Listen, man I was just giving you a heads up and this is how you repay me,” Iggy said, walking towards the door, intent on leaving.

“Hey,asshole, remember what I said,” Mickey hollored after him. The door slamming was his only answer. After he left the silence was thick with tension, Mickey wondering just how much Ian overheard. Mandy looked over at the two of them knowing they needed some time alone, she excused herself and went into her bedroom.


	27. The Move

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

After Mandy left, Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and pulled him over to the couch to sit down, when he didn’t make a flirty suggestion Mickey knew he was far from alright, which came as no surprise. Sitting down he urged Ian to do the same, after they were both seated, Mickey turned to face the silent redhead.

“So how much of that did you hear?” Mickey asked, gently running his thumb back and forth over Ian’s knuckles. Ian drew in a shaky breath and shrugged his shoulders. “You know I won’t let anything happen to you, Ian.”

“I know, but it’s not safe here, Mick,” Ian said, his voice was shaky, but he pushed on. “I don’t feel safe here.”

Mickey searched Ian’s face, seeing the fear in those green eyes again, it wasn’t something he ever wanted to see again. Today started out so well too, damn Iggy and his showing up here without warning. 

“What do you need me to do, Ian?” Mickey asked, hoping he wouldn’t lose Ian over this.

“I want to go home.” The statement surprised Mickey, he swallowed down his disappointment and nodded.

“When are you leaving?” Mickey asked, hoping Ian didn’t hear the disappointment in his voice.

“We, Mickey. When are we leaving? I want you to come with me, please.” Ian saw the surprise in Mickey’s eyes, did he really think he could survive without Mickey, he thought the older man understood how much he meant to him.

“I can’t leave Mandy, man. As much as I would love to go, I can’t.”

Ian should have known Mickey would say that, his mind scrambled to think of a solution to the dilemma they found themselves in. He couldn’t stay here, not with the very real threat of Terry finding them. And Mickey wouldn’t leave Mandy here alone.

His place wasn’t big enough for them all, not with Debbie and the baby there. Then he remembered that Clayton had a couple extra bedrooms. He had offered them to Debbie so she wouldn’t be crowded up in Ian’s extra bedroom, but with Ian hardly ever at home there was no rush. He knew if he explained the situation to Debbie she would make the move, it was a win win situation. Debs would have more room for her and Franny, and Mandy could have the extra room at Ian’s. Now he just had to convince Mickey and Mandy.

“What if I told you that Mandy could come too. Would you do it then?” Ian asked.

“How would that even work. Debbie is in your extra room and there’s no way Mandy would sleep on your couch.”

“She wouldn’t have to. Clayton told Debbie she and the baby could move in with him, he has the extra room since he got divorced. The only reason she hasn’t made the move yet is because I haven’t been home.”

Mickey knew he was going to do it, no way was he going to be able to resist the puppy eyes Ian was sending his way. 

“We have to convince Mandy, Ian.” Ian grabbed Mickey’s face and kissed him, grateful that he was willing to do this for him. 

“How about your dad? Is he going to be ok with this?” Mickey asked, wondering if the older Gallagher even knew about him, and if so, what Ian told him. Did he know Mickey was the son of the man responsible for the injuries that Ian had suffered.

“Why would he care? It’s my place, Mick. Clayton doesn’t tell me who can and can’t stay with me.” Ian was confused as to why Mickey would think Clayton would have a problem with it.

“Does he know who I am? What my last name is?” A look of dawning realization flooded Ian’s face.

“Clayton doesn’t know anything about who attacked me, I never told him. It’s not something we ever talked about. Clayton showed up at the hospital after Lip called and told him what happened. He felt guilty for not stepping up and being a father to me when he found out, he regretted it and has been working overtime to make it up to me.”

Mickey knew that despite what Ian may think if Clayton ever found out about Mickey being a Milkovich and Terry being the one who had attacked Ian, it wouldn’t end well. Lip’s reaction was proof of that, while the asshole was doing his best to hide his hate and distrust, Mickey saw through the bullshit. He wanted to be in Ian’s life and Mickey was a part of that now, so he pretended to accept Mickey, and Mickey let it go. For Ian’s sake, he let it go.

Later that evening found the three of them, Mickey, Ian, and Mandy, gathered in front of the tv watching The Voice. Not a show Mickey would be caught dead watching normally, but Mandy won the coin toss, so here they were. They had yet to talk to Mandy about the move, none of them wanting to disturb the peace that had befallen them. Tomorrow was another day, he highly doubted that Terry would be showing up on his doorstep anytime soon. That wasn’t his MO, no he’d wait until he thought you had your guard down, then strike. Terry never fought fair, he liked the element of surprise too much. No, they were safe for the moment.

Mickey finished closing the last box of non-essential items that were to be taken to storage, Mandy had been surprisingly easy to convince about moving into Ian’s, and they decided to make the move today. It was the only day that they all had off together before heading back to their respective jobs. Mickey had thought the move was only temporary, but Ian had stopped that way of thinking real quick.

“We need boxes, Mick, not bags. No way is all your stuff going to fit in bags, and you have to see what you want with you and what goes into storage. Clayton has an empty shed out back for that.” 

So that was that, they had all piled into Ian’s Jeep and headed to Walmart for boxes, Mandy was talking a mile a minute in the back seat, excited about the move to Northside and how much closer it would be to her work. Ian had told him that he had already spoken to Debbie that morning and that she and Lip were going to be moving her stuff into Clayton’s. Never let it be said that Ian Gallagher was one to wait until the last minute.

He stacked the box on top of the others that were going into storage, and stopped for a breather. Ian had been working double time to get them moved, renting a moving truck and loading the boxes as quickly as he and Mandy were packing them. He was a man on a mission, and that mission was to get out of dodge as quickly as possible. Mickey tried reassuring the redhead that Terry wouldn’t be banging their door down right this second, but the redhead refused to listen. Mickey knew it was fear leading him right now, so he let it be. If moving them into his apartment was what it took to make Ian feel a little safer, then that was what they would do.

“Hey, Mick, is this the last of it then?” Ian asked, standing in the doorway, looking far more sexy than someone who had been sweating all day had any right to. The bastard just oozed sex, and he was all Mickey’s.

“Ya, man. Mandy all packed up?”

“Uh huh. She took my Jeep home to get it unloaded. I told her we would meet her there, Lip is waiting to help unload the truck,” Ian said, pulling an unresisting Mickey into his arms for a kiss, that quickly got out of control. He backed Mickey up until his back hit the wall causing them both to groan. 

Mickey reluctantly broke the kiss, causing Ian to kiss and bite at his neck, Mickey groaned wanting nothing more than to let Ian bend him over right here, but he knew they needed to get moving if they were ever going to get done. They could fuck all night, after the truck was unloaded.

“We gotta go, man. Time enough for this later.” 

“I know, but I want you,” Ian groaned.

“Same here, red. Let’s go, the quicker we get there and get shit done, the quicker you can get the fuck on me.”

Ian released him with a final bruising kiss, then grabbed the last pile of boxes before heading out the door, Mickey following closely behind.

Pulling up behind where Mandy had parked his Jeep, Ian turned the truck off and turned towards Mickey with a smile, excited that as of today he would wake up beside Mickey every morning. Despite knowing that had been what he had been doing most of the time anyway, it was official now, they were living together. His happy smile faded when he remembered the reason why though.

When he had woken to find Mickey gone the night before, he hadn’t taken the time to think that Iggy would still be in the apartment, he had just rushed out of the room intent on finding Mickey. Only to wish he had stayed where he was, overhearing Iggy telling Mickey and Mandy about Terry’s release and Frank spilling the beans, and the results of that had sent Ian into instant flight mode. He knew he needed to leave the place that he had come to call home, and he also knew that he wasn’t leaving without Mickey. Mickey had become his rock, as long as the older boy was around, he knew he was safe. But neither of them were safe where they were, so that meant they couldn’t stay.

Months of believing he was starting to become strong enough to make Terry pay for what he had done had flown out the window with news of his release. It was like the months before never happened. He knew he needed to work on it though, the older Milkovich being out and Frank’s squealing like the pig he is, made the situation more urgent. As long as Terry was out on the streets, with a boner the size of Chicago for them, they weren’t safe.

“Ian!” Mickey hollored, causing Ian to jump and look at him guiltily.

“Sorry, Mick I was miles away,” Ian apologized.

“Yeah, well let’s get this shit unloaded. I got plans for you tonight and we need to get this shit done.” 

Ian laughed at Mickey, pushing the troubling thoughts away for a later time. Mickey was right they needed to get this shit done.There was a king size bed in his room calling their names.

Dropping down on the couch beside Mickey, Ian was aching in spots he never ached before. While he was in good physical condition, his back and arms ached from lugging boxes and furniture around all day. He accepted the bottled water Mandy handed him with a tired smile. Which she returned before flopping down on the other side of him.

“I’m never moving again. You assholes are stuck with me for life. I didn’t know we owned that much shit. Jesus,” Mandy complained, taking a long drink of her water.

“Over half that shit was yours, bitch. You got enough clothes to open a consignment shop.”

“Fuck you, Mickey. I believe in changing my clothes more than once a month.”

Ian laughed at the expression on Lip’s face, he was watching the two siblings argue with a look of total disbelief.

“You get used to it,” he told his brother, drawing two sets of identical blue eyes on him.

“Fuck you.” The comment was made by both Milkovches in stereo. Causing Ian to laugh harder.

“Well, as entertaining as this is, I have to be getting back. Fiona wasn’t too happy when I told her I was coming over, and she has been blowing up my phone for the last three hours.”

“You didn’t tell her what you were doing, did you?” Ian asked, hoping Lip hadn’t spilled the beans. He didn’t trust Fiona not to let it slip in front of Frank.

“No. I just told her Debbie needed my help with something. I’m not stupid enough to tell her within hearing of Frank.”

“Don’t tell her at all, Gallagher. I know you give two shits about my welfare, but Terry is out and he is looking for blood. Specifically mine and Ian’s. So tell no one understand?” Mickey said.

“Fiona would never-” 

“Yes, she would. She’s changed, Lip and you know it. So please just do as Mickey asks” Ian said.

“Ok, Ian. I won’t say anything,” Lip promised.

Ian searched his older brother's face for any signs of lying, he used to trust Lip with every secret he had, but those days are long gone, and despite Lip trying to make things right, Ian doubts he could ever fully trust him again.

“Thanks, Lip,” Ian said.

Lip nodded before saying his goodbyes and heading towards the door, closing it softly behind him.

“Well, now shower then bed for me. Catch you losers later,” Mandy said, making her own exit, leaving the two lovers to their own devices.


	28. Panic

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Ian was going back to work after his lunch break when he got the feeling someone was watching him. It had been a nice day out so he had decided to walk to the diner that was a couple of blocks down the street from the station. He had gotten halfway down the block when the hairs on the back of his neck started to tingle and his skin prickled. When he turned around to look though there was no one there. Shrugging it off as being overly paranoid, a feeling he had become accustomed to the last few weeks, he turned and started walking again.

Since Iggy had shown up at Mickey’s apartment, he had been feeling jumpy. Knowing that Terry was out walking the streets again and actively looking for he and Mickey has sent his paranoia into overdrive, which wasn’t very hard to do. It had him questioning if his meds would need an adjustment sometime soon, o as a precaution he had called and made an appointment, the last thing he wanted was to have his bipolar rear its ugly head. He never wants Mickey to see him that way.

The station loomed in front of him and he let out a sigh of relief. A few more feet and he would be behind closed doors and away from any potential, real or imaginary, threat. Next time he would take Sue up on her offer to order in.

Entering the station he found Sue was getting the rig ready for their next call. It hadn’t been too bad so far, but there was a full moon out tonight who knows what that will bring. Both he and Sue were working a double, so he wouldn’t be getting off until six am. 

“Something tells me tonight is going to be a doozy, Gallagher.” 

“I hope not, but then when were we ever that lucky. Why do we always get stuck on the night of a full moon?” 

“I don’t know, just lucky I guess.” They both laughed at the thought of either one of them being lucky.

The radio crackling cut through their laughter,

“Fight in progress over on Fifth Ave, all available units please respond, repeat all available units please respond. Use extreme caution when approaching, shots are being fired.”

“Fuck. It’s starting already,” Ian said, knowing that they would be the next ones to be called, Sue headed towards the front and Ian walked around to get in the passenger side. Flipping on the lights, Sue started out. Both wondering what they were heading into.

“We’ll park a little ways down the road and wait for the go ahead. Dammit, I hope no kids are involved,” Sue said.

“Me too.” 

They both waited impatiently for the go ahead, there weren’t any more shots being fired, but that didn’t mean it was safe to proceed. When the call came over the radio, Sue started driving further down the road and stopped; they both jumped out and headed over to where there was a man sitting propped up against the building. Noticing they weren’t the only paramedics on the scene, they got to work.

Sue reached the patient first, Ian could hear the man screaming profanities at her as he got closer. He slowed his approach when he heard the voice, he knew it all too well, it came to him in his nightmares. He started to shake when the man in question looked up and met his eyes. The rage in the older man’s eyes heightened, causing Ian to stop all together.

“Gallagher, get over here, I need to stop this bleeding.” Sue’s voice came from far away, Ian’s attention was riveted to the rage in Terry’s eyes.

“No fag is gonna work on me,” Terry hollored, drawing Sue’s attention from the gunshot in the older man's arm.

“Sir, you need to calm down so we-” Sue said.

“No, there ain’t no we. That pillow biter isn’t coming within three feet of me. On second thought, let him come. Me and him have got some unfinished business.”

The pure rage in Terry’s voice had Sue unconsciously placing herself between them, her stance cautious, instinctively looking for a nearby policeman. Ian for his part was terrified, his worst nightmares were coming true. Terry Milkovich was sitting right in front of him and he was frozen in place. He was so sick of feeling this way, he had thought he was working his way towards some sort of a life where Terry was but a footnote. He knew the only way to move on was to face that fear, make Terry pay. Standing here though makes him feel like it was never going to happen.

“Is there a problem here, Milkovich?” The officer asked.

“Yeah there’s a problem. Since when did they let fags work on people?” Terry said angrily.

The policeman glanced over at the two EMT’s that had been trying to get the older man ready for transport. He didn’t know them personally, but he knew them by reputation.They were top notch in their field, quick and efficient, but it came as no surprise that Terry was making their job harder.

“Terry, you’re in enough trouble right now, why don’t you let the EMT’s do their jobs so I can do mine, hmm?”

“If that redhead comes anywhere near me there will be more trouble than you can handle. That little queer turned my boy into a fag and I aim to teach him a lesson.”

Ian’s blood ran cold at the threat, he felt like a Mack truck was sitting on his chest making every breath shallow and raspy. He knew a panic attack was coming on and he wished he could run away.

“Gallagher!” Sue said urgently when Ian began to sway, jumping to her feet she quickly eased the redhead down onto the waiting cot. As far as she’s concerned the scumbag standing behind her could bleed out. She needed to calm her partner down before he passed out.  
“Hey, Red can you calm down just a little for me,please?” 

Ian heard Sue’s voice and tried to concentrate on the soothing tone, gasping for breath, he could feel the sweat beading up on his forehead and his vision started to blur, then nothing.

The ringing of the phone woke Mickey up, cursing he reached for it mumbling under his breath about killing whoever was on the other end. Seeing Ian’s face pop up on the screen he smiled.

“Hey, Red, you miss me?”

“Mickey?” The voice on the other end wasn’t that of his redhead though it sounded familiar.

“Where’s Ian and why do you have his phone?” Mickey asked, fear starting to bubble up in his stomach

“This is Sue, Ian’s partner.”

“What in the fuck is going on? Where’s Ian?” Mickey said, getting up and starting to get dressed, he was halfway out the door before he got his answer.

“We were on a call, and the patient seemed to know Ian. He wasn’t too friendly either and Ian ended up having a panic attack and passing out.”

“What the fuck? Where is he?” 

“We’re at General. He woke up during transport and his pulse was still a little unsteady and I felt it best to bring him in.”

“Then why isn’t he the one calling me?” Mickey asked already over this conversation but needed to hear about what kind of shape Ian was in.

“Well, we got here at the same time as the other ambulance, and Ian became frantic, they had to sedate him.”

“What the fuck for? I’m on my way.” With that Mickey hung up and headed towards the L,he really should’ve taken Ian up on his offer to keep the Jeep today, he would’ve been half way there by now and he wouldn’t have to deal with these assholes hogging up all the seats.

Standing there impatiently waiting for his stop, Mickey wondered what could have possibly set Ian off. There was no possible way that a normal call would have caused such a drastic reaction, the not knowing was driving him nuts.

Getting off the L proved to be a pain in the ass, seemed like everyone and their brother was getting off, and he was so far beyond having patience to deal with this shit, it wasn’t even funny. Finally exiting the train, he cut around the old fuck who seemed to forget where he was going, and took off running the rest of the way.

Finally reaching the hospital, after what seemed like forever but in reality was probably less than an hour, Mickey rushed through the doors and directly to the front desk. The bored nurse sitting at it looked up briefly at him waiting for him to say something.

“Ian Gallagher, he was brought in a little while ago.”

The nurse checked her computer and Mickey had to stop himself from reaching over and smacking the bitch for taking too long.

“Relationship to the patient?” The question caught Mickey off guard, they never defined what they were to each other, both of them content to let things the way they were. Now being confronted about it, he wondered just what they were to one another, it was something they needed to address, but not right now though. His need to know about the well being of the redhead out weighed everything else. Nurse Ratched though was waiting for her answer.

“Boyfriend, lover, fuckin family. Just let me back there to see him.”

“Sorry, sir unless you are related to the patient we cannot give those sorts of details.”

“Hey, fuck you. Let me back there or-”

“Mickey.” The sound of his name being called took his attention from the soon to be dead bitch in front of him, looking over he caught the gaze of a brunette woman in a uniform just like Ian’s. He flipped the nurse off, before walking over to the waiting woman.

“Where’s he at?” Mickey asked, following the retreating form of the woman, he figured she was leading him back to where Ian was.

“He woke up just a little bit ago asking for you.” 

She came to a stop outside of a partially closed door and nodded at him to go in ahead of her. Now that he was here, Mickey didn’t want to open the door and see what kind of shape the redhead was in, slowly he inched the door opened wider and looked inside.

Ian was sitting up in the bed, his skin was pale even for him, and his eyes flew towards the door when it opened his expression one of fear. Seeing Mickey he seemed to relax, if only a little.

“Mick, he’s here. Terry, he’s here in this hospital,” Ian said. Mickey’s arrival was the first time Ian had talked other than to ask for the older boy. 

Sue watched as Mickey seemed to go a little paler himself at the mentioning of the name. Whoever this Terry guy was, he had both boys spooked, she watched as the older boy walked over to Ian and sat on the edge of his bed. Then he reached for Ian’s hand, she opened her mouth to warn him about that maybe not being a good idea, but Ian grasped on to the thug’s hand and held on tight.

“That’s impossible, Ian. Why would Terry be here?”

“He was the one we got the call for, Mick. He was involved in a shootout.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,still doesn’t explain how he would end up here though.” 

Ian looked over at Sue who was lingering in the doorway, looking unsure of her welcome. He pleaded silently with the older woman to explain what was going on.

“We got called out to the scene, when we got there, there was an older man leaning against one of the buildings, a gunshot wound in his shoulder. When we went over to assess the situation he became belligerent, calling Ian vile names and threatening him.” 

“Fuck!” Mickey screamed causing Ian to flinch and Sue jumped. Watching the older boy wearily, not knowing what to expect. 

“That asshole, I’m sorry you had to go through that, Ian.Where is the prick anyway? “

Ian shrugged, hoping he wasn’t anywhere close by.

“They took him straight to the OR. He was bleeding pretty bad and they needed to see if the bullet hit a major artery,” Sue told them.

“I hope the fucker bleeds to death on the operating table,” Mickey said, tightening his hold on Ian’s hand, wanting so badly to find out where they had Terry and put the son of a bitch in the ground.

He looked at the shaken redhead lying on the bed and silently cursed, he was pale and his eyes were red and puffy. Which meant one of two things either he had been crying or he was trying not to. Either one was unacceptable.

“Where’s the doctor? I have to get out of here. I still have half my shift left to finish,” Ian said, sitting up with every intention of getting out of there.

“Are you out of your ever loving mind, Gallagher? You just passed out due to a panic attack, Rita has someone coming in to cover the rest of your shift, I only stayed so someone would be with you until Mickey came.”

“What? No, I'm fine.”

“Go the fuck home, Ian, Get some rest and come back tomorrow night if you feel up to it. I however do need to leave. So I will catch you later.” 

They watched as the older woman left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Leaving them alone and waiting for Ian’s release papers.


	29. Panic

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Ian followed Mickey through the door, closing it behind them, the TV was on in the living room with the sound turned down low. This could only mean Mandy was home and taking advantage of an empty house to watch that god awful TV series she likes. Ian couldn’t quite remember the name of it at the moment, he just knew he wasn't quite up to hearing the Milkovich siblings fight over what to watch on TV. He didn’t think he could handle it right now, so he headed straight for his room, leaving a worried Mickey to watch him go.

Once in his room he quickly stripped down to his boxers and threw himself face down on the bed, his mind racing a million miles per hour. He saw Terry Milkovich today and he froze, his whole system had shut down leaving behind the scared boy who had gotten the shit beat out him for daring to be gay. He would laugh if it wasn’t so god damn tragic. It had been years since that night and he still couldn’t stand up to the asshole. There had been cops all around them there was no way in hell the older man could’ve done anything to him. In fact he could’ve taken the opportunity that was being given to him on a silver platter and turned the sick bastard in. Instead he fainted like a little girl, it was embarrassing but unavoidable. PTSD sucked balls. Closing his eyes he decided to try and get a nap in before dinner.

Mickey walked over to grab the TV remote and shut it off.

“Hey, asshole I was watching that.” 

Mickey ignored Mandy’s complaint and sat down on the couch beside her, he needed to talk to someone and she was the only one here to talk to. He for damn sure wasn’t going to talk to Ian about what went on, at least not until he was ready to talk anyway.The redhead had been quiet on the way home, his usual chatter muted. It had been so long since he’d had to deal with a silent Ian that he had forgotten how frustrating it was. Knowing the redhead was lost in his own head suffering in silence, tore Mickey up inside. Something had to be done to remedy the situation and soon, because he refused to let Ian suffer anymore because of that prick.

“Ian ran into the old man,” Mickey said, getting straight to the point, Mandy didn’t need anything to be sugar coated. Growing up in the MIlkovich house assured one thing. There was no room for pussies, Terry beat any softness out of you before you reached puberty. Sure Mandy had it easier being a girl and all, but she still saw what went on, learned the same lessons as the rest of them did.

“What? When? Is he alright?” Mandy asked, glancing around for the missing redhead.

“He’s in our room, and no he isn’t alright. He had a fucking panic attack and had to be taken to the hospital. That’s where we just came from,” Mickey said, standing up and lighting a cigarette, needing to move he started pacing back and forth in front of the couch.

“The asshole got himself shot up, but like a cockroach, the asshole never seems to die, Ian was called out. He got there and when he saw who it was he had a panic attack. His partner got him to the hospital, and called me. That asshole needs to die, Mandy. A slow agonizing death would be just the thing he deserves.”

“Mick, listen to yourself. You can’t kill Terry, Ian wouldn’t want you to.”

“How in the fuck would you know what Ian would want? You don’t know the hell he’s been through, Mandy. The nightmares, the panic attacks, they are only the tip of the iceberg. Imagine what he went through, then you tell me he doesn't want the fucker dead.”

“Not by you. He wouldn’t want that and you know it. He loves you Mickey, and he needs you here. Not behind bars for the rest of your life,” Mandy said, trying to be the voice of reason, but whenever Mickey got like this he was hard to reason with.

He was in the ‘protect what was his’ frame of mind, and once there he was impossible to deal with.

“Then you tell me what the fuck to do, Mandy. I can’t see him like that again and you know that once Terry sets his mind on something, he doesn’t rest until he does it. He wants Ian dead, and he is determined to make me watch. He’s not touching Ian, Mandy I’ll bury him first. Ian or him? I’ll pick Ian every time.”

“I know you would, Mick, but you gotta be smart about this. No running off half cocked and doing something that would only make things worse,” Mandy told him, once more trying to reason with her stubborn brother.

“In what world would Terry being dead make things worse? Not this one, that’s for sure. Ian needs to know that fucker can’t hurt him anymore,” Mickey said,hating the pleading tone he can hear in his voice.

“I agree with you, Mickey. Ian needs to know he’s safe, but he also needs you here. Do you even realize how much he relies on you?” Mickey said nothing, he just looked at Mandy, helpless in his fear for Ian.

“Tell me what to do, Mandy. How can I keep him safe? If you’re so sure my killing Terry isn’t the answer, then give me something else, ‘cause I got nothing,” Mickey pleaded.

Mandy watched her brother as he literally fell apart in front of her, she knew he cared about the redhead, hell she did too. She just hadn’t realized how deeply he cared, Mickey was in love with Ian, she wondered if he knew it.

“We make a plan, a full proof plan to get Terry out of the picture for good.” 

“Brilliant idea, Mandy. So glad you thought of it. That’s what the fuck I’ve been saying!” Mickey shouted, lighting a cigarette and glaring at her.

“No, you want to rush out right now and kill him. We need a plan, Mickey. One that won’t end with you in jail doing twenty to life.”

“Alright, since you’re so smart what do you suggest?” 

“Well first off we aren’t going to think of anything tonight, you’re too keyed up to even think right. Plus I think Ian should have a say in this too.” 

“NO! No fucking way. What in the fucking hell would make you think that I would even consider that?” Mickey was livid, there was no way in hell he was telling Ian anything. He wasn’t getting involved in any of this shit, full stop. Mandy better not open her mouth either.

“Why not, Mickey. It could be just what he needs. Ian has a right to have part in this.”

“He had a panic attack when he saw him, there is no way he would want any part of this, and I don’t want him there.”

“Mickey, would you listen to yourself? You don’t want him there, what about what he wants, hmm?”

Mickey crossed the room to where Mandy was sitting, and he stopped right in front of her, he wanted her to not have any excuses about not hearing him when he said what he intended to tell her.

“You listen to me, Mandy and listen well. Terry wants Ian dead, he won’t hesitate in doing it either. If something went wrong, and Ian paid the price would you be able to live with yourself? Ian stays away, he stays safe and that is final.” With that Mickey turned and walked towards the bedroom, intent on checking on his redhead.

In the bedroom Ian quickly got back into bed not wanting Mickey to know that he heard just about everything he and Mandy were arguing about, he didn’t know how he felt about Mickey wanting to kill Terry. The asshole had caused him nothing but pain and had ruined his life. Could he live with himself though, knowing that he was the reason the asshole died? Did he want Mickey to go on with whatever they were thinking about doing and risk losing the older man for good?

Mandy wasn’t wrong when she told Mickey that he needed him, because he did. Mickey was the air he breathed, he woke up and knew he was going to be ok because his boyfriend was lying beside him, if he lost that he didn’t know what he would do.  
He’s known for a long time now that he loved Mickey, he just hadn’t found the courage to tell him. If he told him and he rejected it, Ian didn’t know what he would do. But if he didn’t tell him he could lose him anyway, and that scared Ian more than he was willing to admit.

The opening and closing of the door signaled the other man’s appearance, he laid as still as he could hoping Mickey didn’t hear the pounding of his heart and realize he was awake. Mickey climbed in beside him and wrapped his arm gently around Ian. Ian said nothing, he just cuddled back into him, sighing softly as he let sleep overcome him once more, totally missing the words Mickey whispered.

“I’m going to make sure you’re safe, Ian. If it’s the last thing I do, that asshole will never touch you again.” Kissing the redhead’s shoulder, Mickey followed him into sleep.


	30. I Trusted You

CHAPTER THIRTY

Ian woke up the same way he went to sleep, wrapped up in Mickey’s arms, his favorite place to be. The memories of the day before were right there waiting for Ian to acknowledge them, and as much as he didn’t want to, he knows he and Mickey have to talk. Seeing Terry had shaken Ian to the point that he wasn’t able to do his job. A job he loved and while he knew there would always be that chance he would run into the older Milkovich, he just wasn’t prepared for how it made him feel.

He also knew if Sue hadn’t been there, hadn’t seen the situation and done what she had to stop it, it could have gone much worse. Her quick thinking had saved him, and now he felt as though he owed her some sort of explanation. He would have to think on just what he was willing to tell her, knowing he wouldn’t be telling her the full story, just enough to let her know to stay as far away from Terry Milkovich as she could.

He sighed, absently rubbing the arm wrapped around his waist, the conversation he had overheard the night before running through his mind. Did he want Terry dead? It wasn’t something he had ever thought about before. Now it was all he could think about. Dead, Terry could never do anything to him or anyone else he loved, but the possibility of losing Mickey scared the ever loving shit out of him. If he did kill Terry and he got caught, Mickey would never see the outside of a jail cell, and Ian couldn’t allow that to happen.

There had to be something he could do to prevent Mickey from doing something that would ruin both of their lives.

“Morning,” Mickey said, and Ian smiled at the kiss he felt on his shoulder and turned around making sure not to break the older boy’s hold. Ian pulled him in for a soft kiss that quickly turned into something more passionate before they had to break away to breathe. 

“Morning,” Ian answered back, leaning his forehead against Mickey’s and basking in the scent that was Mickey. It calmed him in ways he couldn’t explain.

“How are you feeling?” Mickey asked, hoping he wasn’t stepping over any imaginary lines with his question.

“Better than yesterday, I’m sorry, Mickey.”

“What the fuck are you apologizing for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Kinda feels like I did though,” Ian said softly, not meeting Mickey’s eyes.

“What could you have possibly done to warrant an apology? It’s not your fault that Terry is a sadistic asshole that went and got himself shot.”

“Maybe not, but I wasn’t able to take care of him like I was supposed to either.”

“Who gives a shit. That asshole deserves everything he gets, you hear me? It’s just too bad the bullet wasn’t fatal.”

Ian searched Mickey's eyes looking for anything that would possibly prove what Mickey was saying was a lie to make him feel better, but he found nothing but concern and anger. The anger didn’t seem to be directed towards him though, so Ian let out a sigh of relief.

Then he remembered the conversation he had overheard last night and wondered why he was even worried. Then he started worrying about the half ass plan Mickey had to kill Terry and he wondered if he should bring it up or just wait to see if Mickey did.

“Hey, assholes rise and shine, these eggs ain't going to eat themselves,” Mandy shouted from the other side of the door.

“We better get out there, Mandy doesn’t cook very often so it’s best to take advantage of it when she does.” Mickey said, giving Ian a soft kiss before getting up and searching for his pants in the pile of clothes on the floor.

They really needed to wash clothes soon, Mickey was running low on clean ones. Spotting Ian’s lying next to his he threw them at the redhead before pulling his own on. Looking back at Ian smiling, he couldn’t help but return his smile.

“Come on, man. We didn’t eat anything last night and my stomach is starting to growl.”

Ian laughed and pulled on his pants, followed the older boy out the door ,and into a war zone. Mandy had cooked alright, but she failed to mention that Debbie and Frannie had shown up along with Liam and Lip. How they hadn’t heard them was beyond Ian, they were all talking at the top of their lungs, trying to talk over each other.

Looking over he met Mickey’s amazed eyes and shrugged, then headed over to join the madness. It was just like every other morning in the Gallagher household, and he welcomed the distraction.

“Hey, Lip. Everything alright?” Ian asked as he was filling his plate with the food that was laid out buffet style on the kitchen counter, Mandy had really outdone herself, he would have to remember to thank her later.

“Can’t a guy come visit his little brother?” Lip asked.

Ian looked at him, but Lip wasn’t meeting his eyes, he knew there was something he wasn’t telling him.

“Fiona is being a bitch,” Liam said after swallowing the bite of bacon.

“Liam!” Lip said, looking at the younger boy in disbelief.

“What? It’s true. She’s mad cause she knows you’re keeping something from her.”

Ian looked at his brother’s noticing the war they seemed to be fighting silently between them, he wasn’t in the mood to cater to Lip’s usual ‘protect Fiona at all costs attitude’. While he was getting better at standing up to their older sister, he still couldn’t quite shake the need to defend her.

“What’s he talking about, Lip?” Ian asked.

“It’s not a big deal, Ian. She was just asking about you the other day and could tell I wasn’t telling her everything.”

“She didn’t ask though until Frank said Terry was out of jail,” Liam said, causing Ian to pale and Lip to shoot him another hard look. 

“Lip, what is he talking about?” Ian asked.

Mickey stood beside Ian taking in the expressions that were running over the older Gallagher’s face. They ranged from guilt to anger then back to guilt again.

“Frank came home the other day drunk as usual, going on and on about Terry Milkovich coming into the Alibi and buying everyone a round to celebrate his release.”

Mickey knew there was no buying involved, the old man demanded and Kevin listened. He looked at Ian and noticed that the good mood the younger boy was in a little while earlier was officially gone and in its place was a look of fear and worry. He wanted to punch Lip Gallagher in his smug mouth, Ian didn’t need this today, not after what happened yesterday.

“Fiona was worried and wanted to let you know, I told her that you already knew. To say she was pissed was an understatement.”

“She asked Lip how he knew, and when he told her it was when he was helping Debbie move she went off in a big way,” Liam said.

“Will you get to the fucking point already. Jesus,” Mickey said, tired of the avoidance, clearly something had happened to have the asshole at their house this early.

“Fuck you, Mickey. I don’t have to fucking listen to you,” Lip said.

“No, he’s right, Lip. Can you please get to the point, I can do without the build up right now,” Ian said, ignoring the betrayed look on his brother’s face. Normally he would indulge Lip on his need to explain every little detail, but not today. 

“Fuck. Listen, Ian, you know Fi would never do anything to get you hurt right?” 

“You fucking told her, you piece of dogshit!” Mickey said, already walking towards Lip intent on beating the shit out of the asshole.

“No! All I said was Ian was at home where he belongs. I didn’t mention you at all.”

“You think that matters, asshole? He is looking for Ian and you all but gave him his address,” Mickey said, poking Lip in the chest.

“He doesn’t know where Ian lives though,” Lip said smugly.

“No, but Frank does, Lip. He knows I’m living with Clayton, and he won’t hesitate to tell Terry if there’s something in it for him,” Ian said, making no move to stop Mickey who was holding onto Lip by the collar of his shirt. “I trusted you.” 

The soft statement seemed to take all the fight out of Lip, who looked at Ian silently begging him for forgiveness and understanding, something Ian didn’t have in him to do. Breaking eye contact with his brother, Ian turned and walked silently into his bedroom and shut the door.

“Get the fuck out of here before I beat the shit out of you,” Mickey said to Lip, violently shoving the older boy away from him.

“Come on Liam, tell Ian I’ll call him later, Debs.” Lip said.

“Don’t bother. I doubt he will answer,” Mickey said, watching as the two Gallghers walked out the door, leaving the room in silence.

“Maybe Frank won’t say anything,” Debbie said hopefully, then nodded silently at Mickey’s look of disbelief. “So what are we going to do now?”

“You’re not doing anything, Orphan Annie. I however am going to do what I should’ve done a long time ago.”

“Mickey, we talked about this,” Mandy said.

“Ya, well that was before Mr. Bigmouth went flapping his jaws in front of Frank. It’s not a matter of if now, Mandy. It’s a matter of when. That fucker has got to vanish.”

“We need a plan, Mickey. Terry is no doubt going back to jail for breaking parole. It gives us time to think about it,” Mandy tried once more to reason with the older boy.

“She’s right, Mick. Please listen to her, I don’t want to lose you,” Ian said, drawing everyone’s attention. He had heard the door and took his chances on Lip being gone. He came out and caught the tail end of the heated discussion between the two Milkoviches.

Mickey walked over to the redhead and pulled him into his arms knowing he was powerless to deny the younger boy anything. Besides, he didn’t want to do anything that would cause him not to be able to hold his Gallagher like he was doing now.

“Alright, Red, you win. I’ll sit down and work on a plan, but that fucker is a footnote in history. He just doesn’t know it yet.”

“We. We will sit down and think of a plan, Mick. I want to help too.”

Mickey pulled the younger boy more firmly into his arms, not confirming nor denying his declaration. Silently vowing to himself that there was no way Ian was doing anything of the kind. He just wasn’t going to tell him that right now.


	31. Consequinces

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

It was Ian’s first day back to work since his little trip to the ER following the panic attack he had after seeing Terry. He knew Sue was going to have questions and he owed her answers. He just wasn’t sure he was ready to answer them. He wasn’t one to share personal aspects of his life, but Sue was quickly becoming family to him.

She was like the older sister that Fiona used to be, although thinking of Fiona wasn’t something he allowed himself to do much of these days. The thoughts of the kind of person she was turning into hurt too much. At one time she had been his rock, the only other person he could depend on besides Lip. Knowing that wasn’t the case anymore hurt.

At one time he had hoped she would go back to the same loving big sister she had been, but that hope had faded long ago. Right about the time she insisted Debbie abort Frannie, he knew then there was no hope for her. Jimmy/Steve had really messed her up when he took off, leaving Fiona heartbroken and alone. He knew if he ever saw that bastard again he wouldn’t be held accountable for his actions.

“Welcome back, Gallagher.” Sue’s cheerful voice broke through his musings. He looked over and had to smile. Sue had a big smile on her face and was holding a cup of coffee in one hand and a bag of doughnuts in the other. Accepting the coffee he followed her over to the break table and sat down.

“Thanks,” Ian said, hoping she understood he was thanking her for more than the coffee. She seemed to get the double meaning though.

“Don’t mention it, you would’ve done the same thing.”

Ian nodded in agreement. Knowing that if the situation had been the other way around, he wouldn’t have hesitated.

“You’re probably wondering why though.”

“Listen, Ian you don’t have to tell me anything. Just know that I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

Ian’s throat tightened at the sincerity in her voice, knowing she wouldn’t push helped him to open up, if only just a little.

“When I was 16 I was attacked, beaten almost to death. All because I was gay,” Ian said. Not daring to look at the older woman, not wanting to see the pity in her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Sue said softly. He looked up then, meeting Sue’s eyes. He saw concern not the pity he had grown so accustomed to, it made it easier to continue.

“That night, the call we went on? The man, he was responsible.”

“Oh my sweet christ. No wonder you reacted that way.”

Ian nodded, knowing that would be enough for now. He couldn’t say anymore. Naming his attacker for the first time out loud was more than enough. As promised, Sue said nothing more on the subject, they just sat quietly finishing off their coffee and doughnuts.

Mickey walked into work, hoping that Lip wouldn’t be lying in wait for him again. Ever since he had thrown the asshole out, Lip had been on his ass about him ‘keeping’ his brother away from him. He didn’t control Ian, the redhead had been ignoring any and all calls from Lip all on his own. But the prick refused to accept that. He was pushing Mickey into whipping his ass despite the promise he made to himself about letting Ian handle the situation.

“Milkovich!” Mickey rolled his eyes in annoyance and kept walking hoping the asshole would buy a clue. “Yo! Dickbreath, I’m talking to you.” Apparently Mickey wasn’t that lucky. He flipped him off and continued about his way.

“I know you’re telling Ian not to talk to me.” Tired of the accusation, Mickey stopped, but didn’t turn around.

“No, I’m not.”

“Bullshit. Ian’s never ignored me for this long.” The disbelief was what had Mickey turning around, did the asshole not realize just how badly he let Ian down?

“Listen closely, Gallagher, ‘cause I’m not saying this again. You fucked up. Ian trusted you not to open your mouth, but you failed to live up to that trust. You know just what my old man did to him the last time he got his grubby mits on him, and you served him up on a silver platter after I specifically told you that Terry was looking for him. Do you think it’s a joke, that I was lying?”

“Frank hasn’t said anything!”

“Terry is back in the slammer, asshole. So Frank hasn’t had the chance to. Yet. He is going to get out eventually though, and now thanks to you, he is going to know exactly where to find Ian.”

He watched Lip’s face go from smug to realization in just a few seconds, before turning around and starting towards the car he was supposed to finish that day.

“What are we gonna do?” Lip asked.

“We aren’t going to do anything. I’m going to take care of it,” Mickey said.

“I wanna help, Mickey,” Lip said.

“You helped enough.” There was no response from the peanut gallery, but Mickey knew it was far from over. Lip Gallagher wasn’t one to back down, lucky for him though, he met his match with Mickey. When it came to the people he loved, no one stood in the way of him protecting them. He wasn’t about to start letting it happen now. Especially when Ian was the one he was protecting.

By the end of the day, Mickey was ready to pulverize Lip.The reprieve from his constant nattering hadn’t lasted very long. He had taken to stalking him. Following Mickey around all day instead of working like he was supposed to. The fucker was relentless, he wonders if it’s a Gallagher thing or if Ian took his stubbornness after the older boy. He had the sneaking suspicion though that all Gallaghers were like that, because he knew Debbie was the same way when she set her mind to something. It was cute with Ian though, with Lip though? It made him want to tear his head off and shit down his neck.

“You can’t ignore me forever, Mickey.” And there he was like a bad penny, he couldn’t even take a piss in peace.

“Don’t you have something to do besides following me around like a puppy?” Mickey asked, finally reaching his breaking point.

“He’s my little brother, man.”

That was the last straw, grabbing the older boy by the neck, he shoved him up against the wall.

“He was your little brother when you sold him out to fuckin Frank too.”

“I didn’t sell him out. I let Fiona know he was safe.” Mickey tightened his hold on Lip’s neck, causing him to gag.

“Like that bitch cares about anybody but herself,” Mickey snarled. “I’m going to be generous here and give you one more chance. You messed up, man the fuck up and own it. Quit making excuses for what you did. Leave Terry to me, I’ll make sure Ian is safe, got that?” 

Shoving him once more to prove his point, Mickey let him go. Before turning and walking to the door, he gave one final piece of advice, “Leave Ian be for awhile, maybe he will forgive you, maybe not, but for God’s sake leave him be.”

That night they had all gathered in Ian’s living room to watch a movie, having all decided by silent mutual agreement, not to bring up Terry or anything that had anything to do with the situation they were in. There was enough time to talk about it, thanks to Iggy’s call to Mickey informing them that Terry was back inside for the foreseeable future.

“Why do we always gotta watch this shit, Mandy? No one here but you likes it,” Mickey complained, shooting the TV a disgusted look.

“There’s nothing wrong with Twilight, Mickey.” Mandy defended.

“Ya, maybe if you’re a teenage girl,” Mickey shot back.

“You’re just afraid Ian will drool over someone other than you.”

“Hey, leave me outta this. I don’t even like Twilight,” Ian said, and Mickey threw Mandy a look that shouted ‘told you so’.

“Fuck you both. What do you suggest we watch then?” Mandy asked.

“They have the Fast and Furious movies on Netflix,” Ian suggested, he had really been wanting to watch them, he just never had the chance to.

“I’m with Ian. Fast and Furious it is,” Mickey said, reaching for the remote and ignoring Mandy when she huffed in annoyance. No man should have to sit through watching Twilight more than once, the first time was bad enough, thank you very much. Whoever heard of vampires that sparkled anyway?

Satisfied at having won this round, Mickey settled in beside Ian and waited for the action to begin. Give him a good action movie any day of the week. Glancing over at the silent redhead, he wasn’t surprised that Ian wasn’t really paying any attention to what was going on. He knew he would be a million miles away, thinking about the very things they agreed on not thinking about.

He wished there was more he could do to assure Ian that as long as there was a breath in his body, Terry would never get his grubby paws on him again. 

“You two assholes aren’t even watching this,” Mandy said angrily.

“Sorry, Mands. Just can’t seem to shut my mind off,” Ian said.

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize for shit,” Mickey said, glaring daggers at Mandy.

“No, it’s ok. I’m just going to go get ready for bed. Sorry I ruined your evening.”

“What the fuck, Mandy! Why do you gotta be such a bitch all the time, huh?”

“What? I thought you two were just doing your usual ‘fuck me now’ looks,” Mandy said.

“Oh my God, do you even think before opening your mouth? Were you not here when all the bullshit happened?”

Mandy looked away from Mickey, guilt weighing heavily on her shoulders. Mickey was right, she never thinks before she talks, especially when she is mad. 

“I didn’t mean to make him leave though,” she said.

“Maybe not, but things are really shitty right now, Mandy. We gotta remember that we are used to dealing with Terry and all the bullshit that goes along with it. Ian has every reason to be worried right now.”

“Ya. I just wish they would lock him up and throw the key away.” 

“That’s never gonna happen. Which is why we have gotta be ready when he gets out. No fucking around, the day he is released is the day we take him down. He gets no chances to come after Ian. Terry has used up his last life,” Mickey said before going to check on his redhead.


	32. Mickey

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

In the days that followed Ian thought of little else but Mickey’s threat to do away with Terry, he knew the older boy meant every single word he said that night to Mandy, and the only reason that Terry wasn’t dead right now and Mickey in jail was because Terry was locked up himself. He knew that Terry wouldn’t be in jail forever though, so he needed to think fast, ‘cause he couldn’t lose Mickey, he wouldn’t let Terry take anything else away from him again.

There had to be a way to get rid of him without killing him though, he knew there was one sure way, but didn’t know if he was ready to go down that road. Reliving everything over and over again, having to tell each and every detail, had him breaking into a cold sweat just thinking about it. Then there was the other side of the coin, it had been so long would they even believe him? If they didn’t and nothing came of it, things would become even more of a nightmare.

Terry would be even more determined in his pursuit of them, because he knows Mickey would back him up in a minute. The price was high either way Ian looked at it, he’s starting to think maybe Mickey was right, Terry being dead was the best answer, but not at the expense of him losing Mickey.

He was going to make himself even crazier than he already was if he didn’t figure this out soon. He also knew that Mickey was doing his own thinking, he and Mandy werealways stopping whatever they were talking about whenever he came into the room. Then there were the mutual glares he walked in on just last night. He knew they were arguing over something or other, when he asked about it Mandy had wanted to tell him, but Mickey shut her up pretty quick.

He would be feeling left out and worried Mickey didn’t want him anymore if Mickey didn’t prove to him every second they were together just how much he did. It wasn’t just the sex either, though that alone was out of this world. No, it was all the little things too. The way he looked at him when he thought Ian wasn’t paying attention. Or how Mickey never protested when Ian wrapped himself around him when they were watching TV. No Mickey was in this just as much as Ian was. 

Needing to do something to take his mind off everything for a while, Ian went to put on his running shoes, maybe a run was just what he needed to clear his head.

Mickey paced back and forth, waiting impatiently for Iggy to answer his phone. He knew the lazy fuck was probably still sleeping, but he didn’t care. He needed to know how much time Terry got for his latest parole violation. It always amazed him how that asshole could fall in shit and always come out smelling like roses. What in the hell was it going to take for the old fuck to just die already, and put them all out of their mysery. 

The night Ian had run into the bastard wasn’t the first time Terry had met up with the business end of a gun, but the asshole always managed to pull through. If the end of the world ever did raise it’s ugly head, Terry would survive, along with Frank fuckin Gallagher, and roaches. Course both the assholes were like a roach. No matter how many times you thought you were rid of them, they would rear their ugly heads up and prove you wrong.

“Someone better be dead.” Iggy’s voice was groggy as well as pissed as hell at being woke up.

“What the fuck, Ig. You sleep like the fuckin dead,” Mickey said.

“Fuck you. I was out all night collecting.”

“Still doing Daddy’s work for him while he’s in the clink. Why don’t you get a real job, man?”

“You know it’s not that easy, Mickey. You don’t just walk away from Terry.”

“Bullshit. I did, and so did Mandy,” Mickey said.

“Yeah, how’s that working out for you, hmm? Still hiding at Gallaghers?”

Mickey’s blood turned to ice, Iggy knew that he was living with Ian, and if he knew so did Terry.

“Not fuckin’ hiding,” Mickey said.

“Well Dad seems to think you are.” The smugness in Iggy’s voice had Mickey wishing he was standing in front of him so he could knock the fuckin smirk he was no doubt wearing right now, right off his face.

“Yeah, shows how much either of you know. I moved out yeah, but I’m not living with Ian.”

“Come on, Mickey. Never try to bullshit a bullshitter, never works. Terry has connections you know, spies willing to tell everything they know, so they get to live to see another day.”

Mickey knew all about Terry and his ‘connections’ ; it hasn’t been all that long since he was there in the thick of it all. Dammit! He had been so careful too, laying low, staying away from the parts of town Terry’s flunkies were, so he either got sloppy, or Terry had some new meat on the wheel. Either scenario fuckin sucked.

“I didn’t call you for this. I need to know how much time Terry got.”

“What makes you think I would tell you anything. You weren’t very welcoming the last time I saw you.” 

“You know you deserved everything I gave you that night, Iggy so don’t play an injured party here.”

“What happened to you, Mickey? You used to be the meanest fucker around, now you run with your tail tucked firmly between your legs,” Iggy asked.

“Nothing happened to me, Ig. Make no mistake you come after Ian in any way, you will see just how mean I can still be. Things aren’t as cut and dry as you think. Some shit went down and there was no way I could stay after.”

“Terry found out you were a fag then?” The question made Mickey bristle with rage. Was this fucker trying to dig his own grave?

“Liking what I like don’t make me a bitch. That’s your department. And it ain’t my story to share.”

“He got another six months tacked on. So he has about roughly another two and a half years.”

That made Mickey feel a little bit better about the situation, plenty of time to come up with a good plan to get rid of the fucker. No way would they let Terry Milkovich out on good behavior. He would have to tell Ian too.

“You gonna come around some now? Maybe help out a little bit, like old times.” 

“Nah, man. I don’t do that shit no more, told you that. I got a good thing going for me, don’t wanna lose it.”

“Told ya you were getting soft. The boyfriend got you whipped,” Iggy said.

“Fuck you, ain’t even just about that. I got a good job, I don’t need to be running drugs or guns. Staying away from that, ain’t juvie no more if I get caught, and I sure as fuck ain’t going to jail.”

“Yeah, yeah. Doesn’t mean we can’t hang though.”

Mickey knew Iggy was his brother but as long as he was under Terry’s thumb there was no way he could trust him. This isn’t just about keeping Terry away from Mandy, it’s Ian too. And there was no way in hell that he was risking Ian. That and Ian’s reaction to seeing him, no way he would put him through that again.

“Not as long as you're working for Terry. Can’t chance it, Ig. I won’t take any chances where Ian is concerned.”

“You really love that redhead, like honest to god love him? Damn.”

“I gotta jump off here, man. Breaks over. Maybe I will talk to you again sometime.”

Disconnecting the call, Mickey turned to head back to work, and caught Lip standing there. The fucker was listening in on his phone calls now? What the fuck?

“What the fuck,Gallagher lurk much?”

“Just came out for a cigarette, Mickey,” Lip said.

“I don’t see you smoking one. You were spying like a freak. Listening in on my phone call.”

“What else am I supposed to do? Ian’s still not answering my calls or texts and I wanna know how he is.”

Mickey hears the genuine concern in the asshole's voice, and can’t believe he feels a little sorry for the guy. Maybe Iggy is right, Ian is making him soft. And he really doesn’t give a fuck.

“He’s fine.” Mickey started to walk around him, not willing to say anything else about the situation. He may be going soft, but he still hated this fucker with a passion.

“Come on, man. You gotta give me more than that. I haven’t seen or talked to him in over a month.”

“Listen, Gallagher, you’re lucky I told you that much. If Ian wants you to know anymore he will tell you himself.” He started to walk away once more.

“Please, Mickey.” 

Mickey turned to look at the other man, shocked. Lip Gallagher was asking him please, something he never thought possible.

“I don’t know what you want from me here, Gallagher. I told you he was doing ok.”

“I know I messed up, Mickey. I just need to be able to convince Ian of that. I can’t do that if he won’t talk to me. Can you maybe convince him to at least answer my texts?”

“I will tell him what you said, that’s all I’m going to do. I’m not about to make him do something he isn’t ready to do. That’s not how we work.”

Lip winced at the obvious dig and nodded. Turning once more to head back to work, Mickey couldn’t believe what had just happened.

Later that evening Mickey wanted nothing more than something to eat, a hot shower, and Ian to pound him into the mattress. Didn’t matter which order those things were in, but that’s what he intended for his evening. After the day he had, he deserved it. First there was the car from hell, it took him all day to fix it, and it wasn’t even worth the effort. Then the owner tried to stiff them on the price. 

Then to top off the rest of his shitty day, Fiona had shown up and created a scene. She had apparently shown up at the house and Ian had slammed the door in her face, she had come strutting in like she owned the place, getting up in his face and accused him of turning Ian against her. Bitch was just lucky he didn’t hit women. Lip had calmed her down and gotten her to leave.

He wondered what caused Ian to slam the door in her face though, bitch had to have said something to piss him off. Closing the door behind him, he went in search of his redhead and found him in the kitchen with Mandy laughing and making dinner.

“What’s so funny?” Mickey asked, startling the two laughing hyenas.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian said, walking up to the older boy and pulling him into his arms. “Did you really wear a dress for Halloween two years ago?”

“What the fuck, Mandy!” Mickey said, glaring at her. 

“Awe, don’t get mad at her, Mick. I bet you looked hot, you have such great legs.”

The comment made Mandy laugh even harder, and Mickey turned his glare to the redheaded doofus in his arms. He smiled despite himself, he loved seeing Ian this way. Laughing with no trace of worry or fear in his eyes.

“You’re a fuckin dick. It was a bet, and lots of whiskey was involved, alright?”

Kissing the older boy softly, Ian smiled and went back to hugging him. It was, after all, one of his favorite things to do.

“Come on you two, no more of that shit in the kitchen. I wanna eat some time tonight,” Mandy complained, causing Ian to laugh once more. He kissed Mickey once more and pulled reluctantly away to finish making dinner.

“I’m going to get a shower before we eat,” Mickey said, watching Ian as he stirred whatever was boiling in the pot.

“Ok, Mick. Should be done when you get out,” Ian said. 

Mickey dragged his eyes away from the beauty that was Ian Gallagher and headed to the bathroom to do just that. Ignoring the snickering that picked up once more at his expense.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a long and emotional journey for Ian and Mickey. Hopefully I can do the subject matter justice. Kudo's and comments are welcomed and make me wanna write more.


End file.
